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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26249749">Boys just wanna have fun</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/tgMoony/pseuds/tgMoony'>tgMoony</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Formula 1 RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>2020 Season, Car Accidents, Competition, Complicated Relationships, Crying, Cuddles, Emotional Roller Coaster, First Kiss, Friend's death, Friendship, Grief, Interviews, Love Confessions, M/M, Party, Podium, Secrets, Self Confidence Issues, Sleepovers, Song Lyrics, Stress Relief, Truth or Dare, Twitch quartet, teammates</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 02:48:49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>50,913</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26249749</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/tgMoony/pseuds/tgMoony</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>F1 2020 season. After the 70th Anniversary Grand Prix.</p><p>As usual, Lando, Alex, George and Charles meet in one of their rooms. They celebrate and relax after another stressing race of this short and concentrated season. Playing truth or dare, the four admit that they have fallen in love...</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alexander Albon/Daniel Ricciardo, Charles Leclerc &amp; Sebastian Vettel, George Russell &amp; Romain Grosjean, Lando Norris/Carlos Sainz Jr, Nicholas Latifi/George Russell, Pierre Gasly/Charles Leclerc</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>96</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. It's just a little crush</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello everyone! 😊 This is my first fanfiction in Formula One's world. I'm very excited, but also a little anxious about it.</p><p>English is not my first language, so probably there will be some mistakes. If you don't understand something, please, let me know: any correction is welcome! I'm trying to improve my English writing, and I hope that this is at least understandable.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The F1 70th birthday Grand Prix ended a few hours before and then everyone was invited to the final dinner to celebrate this milestone together. An elegant, but short dinner, given the Covid restrictions and the Spanish GP in less than a week. After an almost quick dinner, the four young friends respect their post-race meeting, this time in George's room. They're playing a board game sitting on the floor, packets of chips scattered all over the place and a couple of soft drinks mark their room for manoeuvre.</p><p>“Hey, guys. I really needed a quiet evening after these three days” Alex thanks.<br/>
“Yes, they've been carrying on this anniversary thing for too long. It was very cool to run the race of the 70th, I'm so sorry for Checo, but we didn't need all that extra pressure because it's a historic race” Charles answers.<br/>
Lando becomes thoughtful “Yeah, pal, I'm very sorry for Checo, but at least he's fine now and will be able to get back on track with us.”<br/>
George, unusually still wearing his clothes, agrees with the others. “Do you want anything else to drink? I don't have beers, but maybe you'd like a cola or a sprite” he offers, standing up and heading towards the fridge.<br/>
The boys agree for a coke, while Lando takes the empty bottle to crush it and throw it into the plastic bin. Charles stops him: “Wait, I've got an idea. Let's play spin the bottle.”<br/>
The other three drivers glare at him, while George returns to sit down and refills his friends' glasses.<br/>
“Do you know that you spin the bottle to choose two persons who have to kiss or do other embarrassing things as a couple?” Lando retorts.<br/>
“Seriously? We use the bottle to choose who answers truth or dare. You English have all the weird things” Charles explains, while his face resembles his red shirt.<br/>
“Or maybe you Monegasque are the strange ones” Alex says.<br/>
“Yes, that's more likely.” Charles's laughter infects the whole group.<br/>
“Truth or Dare? Did I get it right?” George asks, who had missed a piece of the conversation.<br/>
“Why not!” Alex answers, followed by the other two.<br/>
Lando places the bottle on the floor and gives it a sharp blow making it rotate on itself. The cap stops in Alex's direction.<br/>
“Truth.”</p><p>A moment of embarrassed silence follows since they haven't yet chosen who will ask the first question. “C'mon Lando, you span.”<br/>
“But Charles proposed.”<br/>
“Ok, my room, I'll start it” George concludes, ending the discussion before the day returns.<br/>
“It is true that Max is actually a sweety?”<br/>
Two pairs of eyes rotate in the direction of the questioned: this sounds very interesting.<br/>
Alex thinks about it a bit, trying to create some suspense, but then gets bored and responds pretty quickly.<br/>
“More or less. Don't peck him around if he's pissed off: he has taken by his father and can be really nasty. But if you enter his inner circle of friends, tight circle indeed, you can also see him in his cute and cuddly dress, but it takes a long time I'm afraid. I've seen some improvement towards me, I think he respects me now – which is a lot given the rumours around in RedBull – but I think I will have to sweat a lot before becoming friends.”<br/>
“Ahah, I knew that deep down he is a sweety!” Lando reiterates.<br/>
“Lando, they are all sweethearts to you.” Charles resumes him “Because you're always kind and smiling to everyone. You attract the good of people.”<br/>
Lando blushes and murmurs a moved “Thanks, Charles.”<br/>
“I spin!” Alex continues, and the bottle stops right on Charles.</p><p>After a few rounds of uncovering some little truths and some duties including talking animal sounds for three bottle rounds and George having to keep his shirt on all night, Alex asks Charles a surprising question.<br/>
“Listen, Charles, given the situation in your team, I'll be an asshole: better Seb or Pierre?”<br/>
Charles looks at him fiercely: he doesn't want to answer this question. The problems with Seb are quite evident, but they must remain within Ferrari walls. He can't talk about them in public.<br/>
“You must reply” George echoes.<br/>
“Listen, I really don't know what to tell you. I answer you, but I don't know if mine will be an exhaustive answer. Seb is a true legend, the youngest driver to win an F1 World Championship. How can I ignore it? Not to mention that he's been a mentor and a friend in my first months at Ferrari. I was nobody when I arrived, just a second-team driver who had distinguished himself a bit the year before. He taught me a lot of things. I'm really really sorry for how this season is going on in Ferrari...” he bites his lips, there's plenty of things he would like to say but he can't, it wouldn't be fair to the team and Seb.<br/>
“You can see it from outside as well: the mood is not the best.”<br/>
“I'm sorry Charles,” Lando says, patting him on the shoulder.<br/>
“Thanks” the Ferrari driver looks at him, smiling. “Anyway, to continue the answer, let's talk about Pierre. Well, Pierre and I have known each other since we were kids. We did all the karting and motoring routes side by side, we were inseparable. Me, him, Jules and Anthoine formed a really close-knit quartet, perhaps even more than the four of us. Here, we have shared a lot in recent years, our career is still short but our friendship has almost always lasted. We were always together: the holidays, the after school, the friends, the first races, the first victory of each of us. When Anthoine won his first race, his mother took us...” a lonely tear streaks his face as the thought of that day resurfaces in his memory.<br/>
“His mother took us to watch an F1 live race. We were so happy. «One day we'll be there too» we promised. Unfortunately...” he starts sobbing. “I miss him too much. I miss them too much. Why? Why did they leave me?” Crying is now uncontrolled. The others hold him in a tight hug: last year was particularly touching for Charles, and they saw it day after day.<br/>
Once Charles has stopped crying, Alex shakes his hand.<br/>
“I'm sorry, Charles, I didn't want to bring back these sad memories.”<br/>
“Don't worry, Alex, I was pleased to remember them, even though I miss them so much.” He smiles at the other man.<br/>
Alex, mirroring in his friend's shiny eyes, swears not to enter the subject again.</p><p>“In conclusion, therefore, I wanted to tell you that I don't know. Seb is a phenomenon and a great teacher. Pierre has always been my friend: I would do anything with him, I would do anything for him. Sometimes I miss not having him close in the paddock, or even when I go out with you, but it's a bit difficult, I can't be as loose with him as with you. Every time I see him and greet him, I'd like to tell him a lot of things, but he seems to me so...”<br/>
“Unreachable.” George lets slip, revisiting his relationship with Nicholas in Charles's words.<br/>
“Yes, buddy, unreachable. It's as if it were, yes, as if… oh.” Charles freezes for a moment, while Pierre's images crowd into his mind. “I'm in love with him.”<br/>
“What?” Lando asks, spitting the coke into his glass to avoid choking.<br/>
“Oh my God, I think I have a crush on Pierre.”<br/>
The others remain dazed, with their mouths open for a few seconds.<br/>
George wakes up and asks him: “Are you sure?”<br/>
“Yeah, it's obvious now. I can talk and be myself when I'm with you, while with him it becomes a mess every time. I try to be great and look perfect because I'm afraid I'm not good enough for him. When I see him from afar I feel like a tremor in the stomach: I can't wait to talk to him, but I'm terribly afraid to talk to him as well. I had always admired him for his dedication to work; I think it all increased when he entered Formula One: I started to miss seeing him between races and then, I realized how good I was with him, but in the subconscious, along with the desire to be together, the idea arose that he did not want me anymore. He was now in another category.”<br/>
“Charles, don't bullshit. Pierre doesn't feel superior. I think you just need to talk to him a little and to spend some time together. C'mon! You're his best friend: you can never disappoint him.” Alex seems very determined.<br/>
“Yes, sure, and what should he tell him? «You know, we have been friends from a long time, but in the last few months, I've realized that I want to see you more, that we don't spend enough time together, but I'm also afraid that you are not happy to see each other so often, maybe I am too much attached to you. Well, you know what? I like you. I have a crush on you. Now you can insult me with your hetero middle finger and make fun of me in front of the whole world on live TV» Was it that easy, Alex!” George screams on him.<br/>
“I'll never be his level, he'll never want me with him. Moreover, he most likely doesn't even like boys. He'll be surely surrounded by different girls every event he goes to” Lando snorts, thinking at his crush.<br/>
“Pierre? Absolutely! 100% straight. Once he came to tell us that he was flirting with the most beautiful girl in high school. What a jerk I am to have a crush on him! Let's do one thing, forget what I said. Let's close everything here. He'll never want me.” Charles concludes, embittered.</p><p>“In my opinion, you have to spend more time together, only in this way you can have a hope of winning him. He'll never know how much you love him if you don't spend time with him. Take advantage of it: you're best friends, you grew up together, what the fuck!” Alex gets furious, thinking how easy it is for his friend to connect with the guy he likes.<br/>
“Okay, okay, it seems good. I'll think about it tomorrow with a more awake mind, but now I want to spin the bottle, what the heck, let's get your secrets out too” Charles says before pushing the centre of the bottle. The cap stops in Lando's direction.<br/>
“Truth or dare?”<br/>
Dare, his mind is screaming at him to say that word. Charles has exposed himself, but he doesn't want to risk his crush on Carlos going public. It's not that he doesn't trust his friends, but a secret survives best in one person's mind.<br/>
“Then?” George urges him.<br/>
“Truth” Lando answers, then realizes his mistake, turns pale and changes “No, no, I was joking. Dare.”<br/>
“By now, you've already chosen truth. Come on, don't make me think of something very embarrassing for you to do.” A mischievous smile creases Charles's face as he raises his right eyebrow. “Nevermind, it's fine. Dare?”<br/>
Lando nods, unable to choose which one is the worst.<br/>
“I dare you to call Carlos.”<br/>
“What? Now? Here?” Lando is hyperventilating, while Alex and George are laughing.<br/>
“Exactly! You'll call him and ask him how he's doing. Then you'll continue the call as normal and greet him. Oh, I almost forgot, turn the volume to the maximum, so that we can hear too, but don't turn on the speakerphone, or he will hear the three of us too.”</p><p>Lando takes his phone from his trousers pocket and dials Carlos's number. Nobody seems to notice that Lando presses the number and doesn't go to the phone book, since he knows it by heart. After a couple of rings, somebody answers.<br/>
“Lando?”<br/>
“Hola Carlos, am I disturbing you?”<br/>
After a moment's hesitation, the Spaniard replies “No, tell me.”<br/>
“Sorry if I call you at these hours... I just wanted to talk a little. I wanna ask you how are you” he says. In front of him, Charles gestures what he has to ask.<br/>
“Now it's much better. I have relaxed a little. You?”<br/>
“Yes, I'm relaxing too. I'm with the boys; we'll be back to the hotels soon” he pokes his tongue at the other three.<br/>
“Ah, well done. At least you have someone to talk to. Even today it was frustrating on the track: last time the tire exploded, today I crashed at pit-stop, it always runs badly.”<br/>
Everyone looks pained: they understand the situation utterly, especially George, who has never managed to get into the points yet. Charles gestures to Lando that he can end the conversation.<br/>
“I'm sorry, Carlos. Do you want me to come over to talk for a while?” the English driver suggests.<br/>
“Oh, no, don't worry. Stay with your friends; you deserve it. And again, congratulations on your ninth place.”<br/>
“Okay, thank you” he takes a huge breath, now the lip doesn't tremble anymore. “Buenas noches, Carlos.”<br/>
“Gracias Lando, buenas noches!”<br/>
Lando turns off the phone and looks at his friends in front of him. He goes all red and then he says: “Guys, I have to tell you something.”<br/>
The others recompose the initial circle, then Lando resumes: “I've fallen in love with Carlos.”<br/>
Charles approaches, takes Lando's hand and confesses: “We've already suspected it.”<br/>
“You two are so cute!” George exclaims with heart-shaped eyes.<br/>
“Oh, forget it. Have you seen his girlfriend? That high blond goddess with that screaming décolleté? How the fuck am I supposed to compete? I can't. Carlos emanates heterosexuality form every pore, a possible special friendship with a man has never passed him even in the anteroom of his brain.”<br/>
Alex opens his mouth, but Lando interrupts him, telling him to stop here with his secret crush.</p><p>“Lando, spin the bottle!” Charles is the only one still interested in continuing the game, but the others follow along easily.<br/>
“Perfect. George, Truth or Dare?”<br/>
George is a quiet boy and rather than risk a call to Nicholas or someone else in the middle of the night would tell his deepest truth. In reality, it isn't a problem. They can't even suspect his interest in his teammate. He chooses truth.<br/>
“Tell us about Nick! He's the only one I've not yet connected with, given he's arrived recently, I want to find out something about him.” Lando is curious and, above all, loves people and making new acquaintances.<br/>
“Well, actually, I don't really know him that much either.”<br/>
“He knows you well for sure though” Alex interrupts him, showing the photo of the Canadian driver with the sign “Stop taking shirtless photos.”<br/>
The group bursts into laughter and then George continues: “He loves nutella. He can't eat that much for the diet, but he loves it. Then he has a really deep voice and his Canadian accent is very nice” adorable, George thinks, but he doesn't say it. “His father is very rich-”<br/>
“Hey!” Lando interrupts him, feeling called into question.<br/>
“Hey what? I didn't say he's spoiled. I'm only telling you this because I found out while researching his career.”<br/>
Maybe I shouldn't have said that, the driver thinks, let's hope it doesn't look like stalking. He then resumes the discussion without allowing the other three to think about it. “He won a lot of Grand Prix last year in F2, he got the trophies this week, I was absurdly envious to see so many in one place.”<br/>
“Well, so far you've always beaten him” Lando reassures him. “But I want more interesting things: his behaviour, hobbies, or something similar.”<br/>
“He's nice and funny, as Alex has already shown, we always do the interviews together, he's very attentive, scrupulous, he often uses social media, oh, and he drinks a lot of coffee. Then I know that he goes for water sports. I think I've told you everything I know” George concludes.</p><p>“And is he cute? He has dark hair and eyes, like Carlos, he might be my type. If he's not straight, I might think about it” Lando proposes. “Do you know if he has a girlfriend? Or what if he's straight?”<br/>
George involuntarily raises an eyebrow in annoyance. What kind of questions are these? “I know he doesn't have a girlfriend, but I don't know if he is straight… you know, it's not the first thing a driver comes to tell you.”<br/>
“In your opinion?”<br/>
“I don't know, let's hope not for you.”<br/>
“And how is he physically?” Charles asks. “Ha has no photos of him shirtless on instagram.”<br/>
“Physically, well” George begins to reply, mimicking the various parts of the body of his teammate with his hands. “He has two fantastic shoulders, strong and wide, his chest is normal: neither muscular nor thin and that's enough” he concludes, as his hands come down straight to draw the legs.<br/>
Lando replies: “He looks gorgeous. I could talk to him in the next few days and see if the spark goes off.”<br/>
“I”<br/>
“Yes, George?” Here, he was fucked up. But he wouldn't let Lando or Charles blow him from under his hands. He is his teammate, after all.<br/>
“I… well… I would prefer if you didn't.”<br/>
Lando looks George straight in the eye and smiles.<br/>
“Oh, fuck it. Okay. He's very charming: I noticed it as soon as I saw him. But when I heard his voice and when he spoke to me for the first time I melted” the Williams driver admits.<br/>
“I was joking anyway. I just wanted to stretch the rope a bit, after you said that thing about the research, you seemed suspicious to me” Lando apologizes.</p><p>Charles interrupts them by calling Alex and inviting him to tell them something.<br/>
“Are we going to stop spinning the bottle now?” the Thai driver justifies himself.<br/>
“You're the only one missing. I don't think we have any other better secrets than these.”<br/>
Meanwhile, George has rotated the bottle and it has returned to himself. “Well, I'm not talking again: I've just finished.”<br/>
“Well, then” Alex begins “actually I have someone to talk about too.” The other three look at him with wide eyes.<br/>
“This is why I was a little aggressive with Charles before: you have them so close, you're one the drivers closest to your crush in the entire paddock. When he smiles, he lights up the whole room, plays a lot of jokes, laughs and plays with everyone. It's actually frustrating to see him approach so many drivers, but I think it's normal for him to be close to others, laugh together and play jocks. Oh, not to mention his awesome Australian accent.”<br/>
“Daniel?” the others ask in chorus.<br/>
“At first I thought you were talking about me” Lando adds, laughing.<br/>
“Yes, Daniel. Do you understand why I told you those things before? Heck, Charles and Pierre have always been friends, while you two fell in love with your teammate. Daniel is neither in my team – and he won't be next year either, hoping I'll have one – nor is there the remote possibility that I will see him outside of races. Australia isn't around the corner at all. Plus, he doesn't seem like the type to be with another guy at all. We are not very lucky, I must say.”<br/>
“I agree. At least here we are” Charles says.<br/>
“In the sense that there are four of us? Two and two?” Lando asks.<br/>
The others reject the option without even thinking about it.<br/>
“Ok, ok, I got it wrong. Buddies, you know I really care about you, but I think if I had fallen in love with any of you – even before I knew your like guys – I would have already noticed.”<br/>
The other three agree with him. All four of them have a beautiful friendship, but they don't see themselves as boyfriends at all.<br/>
George has an idea: “You know what we should do? We could help with our crushes. For example, when we are together and we see that one of our crushes is approaching we could leave his lover alone, or you Lando can try to get Daniel to Alex. You're the one he talks to the most, but we can do it too. How about it?”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Chapter 1 is gone! The boys have confessed their deepest secrets. Next destination: Spain!<br/>Thanks for coming, I hope you enjoy it</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Going to Barcelona</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The boys arrive in Barcelona, each of them with a problem to struggle with... are they getting closer to their crush?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lando finishes collecting his things and prepares to fly to Spain with McLaren troop. One of his dreams is to go with the trucks that contain the cars and make the trip to the next Grand Prix location with the staff. However, given the close commitments of this period and the not too short road, the drivers and technicians who will have to handle the cars in the following days will board the plane towards Spain, so that they don't get too tired during the journey.</p><p>Lando steps down the aisle and notices the free seat next to Carlos: he could sit there, but will he be able to manage his emotions? He has recently discovered that his closeness to Carlos is different from that of the other drivers, especially his friends. His playful spirit immediately led him to be accepted and well-liked by anyone and so it was with Carlos, at the beginning. But later he felt free to behave with him as he does only with his best friends. At first, he thought it was because they too were becoming close friends, but there was something more: every time he sees him, he gets a heartbeat, and he never knows how to behave. Maybe behaving as usual isn't always the best thing to do. Carlos may no longer appreciate him after a while… maybe he just sees him as a boy who always wants to play and joke, perhaps he would like a more sober mate?</p><p>A staff boy backs up and ends up to Lando, still standing in the middle of the corridor. He apologizes, but Lando takes the blame for having his head in the clouds. In the meantime, one of the technicians has sat next to Carlos, and the young man has to sit a couple of seats in front, cursing his tendency to analyse things a thousand times before moving and doing them.</p><p>About ten minutes later, a guy calls his colleague sitting next to Carlos ahead to discuss an aspect of the car. Lando seizes the opportunity and sits down in the vacant seat. He pats his colleague on the back and asks him if he's enjoying the flight.<br/>
“Yes, I am finally going back to Spain. I haven't been there for more than a month: in the last break my family told me not to join them; since the growing pandemic in Spain, they didn't want me to take any risks.”<br/>
“I can only imagine.” Lando nods. Covid is destroying a lot of habits that we took for granted. One above all is the presence of fans at their races. “Do you think you'll see them this week?”<br/>
“I think so. It'll be strange for my father not to see the race from the paddock, but it is better this way. I only hope to be able to hug them at the end of the Grand Prix. So, in case I contract the virus, it would be after the race and I wouldn't risk infecting all of you. When I return after the break, the swab will show whether I can drive or not” Carlos explains.<br/>
“It must be hard to wait all this time to be able to hug them. If you need someone to talk to in the meantime, I'm here” Lando proposes. “I should have come last night too instead of staying with the other guys. I'm sorry I haven't been there for you.”<br/>
“Are you joking? Don't worry. It's not a problem, don't be upset about it. It was right for you to stay there and celebrate your race. I needed to rest and think a little. These months have been pretty strange” Carlos comforts him.<br/>
“Are you talking about Ferrari?” Lando is aware that he's touched a sensitive issue, but the question came out without thinking.<br/>
“Yes, even for that. This worldwide virus, the months of quarantine, the delayed start, the call from Ferrari, these somewhat anomalous first races, especially the first at Silverstone. It's all a little weird” Carlos replies, unperturbed by the question.<br/>
“I'm sorry, I didn't have to go into the subject. I couldn't stop before speaking. It's just that we never talk about it, I… I'm not sure how to handle this. Sorry, we'll talk about it later if you want” Lando apologizes, visibly uncomfortable.<br/>
“Fasten your seat belts, we're almost there” the steward warns inside the plane. With all ground approach manoeuvres, drivers have to interrupt their conversation.</p>
<hr/><p>Charles gets distracted by talking a bit with Sebastian about the next race. Performance this year is not the best. Who knows, maybe the Spanish climate, more similar to the Italian one than the Silverstone races, will help them to better approach the racing conditions. Although running in Barcelona in mid-August isn't such a refreshing prospect. They discuss a bit about the possible strategies, even if Sebastian today seems less cheerful and talkative than usual, there is a bit tension in the air, at least this is the impression that Charles is having from their short, emotionless talk. It seems like a cold list of tactics and technicalities that can be adopted to bring the cars to decent shape if only to reach some higher positions on the starting grid.</p><p>After finishing their little reunion, Seb turns to the window, his thoughts hovering outside the cabin and dancing in the clouds that surround them. Charles observes a note of sad melancholy reflected in his blue eyes, which now turn grey due to the leaden sky. The young man can't stand this view: despite the competition between them, he prefers to defeat his teammate by winning the Grand Prix and seeing his mentor on the podium next to him and not having to challenge him to grab the last point in the middle of the grid. This start to the season was very atypical: first, the delay due to Codiv, then the car problems, although he had managed to grab the podium twice, one of these by an accidental way. Unfortunately, Seb had many more issues than him and rumours of a possible boycott of the German driver by Ferrari spread among the racing world. Charles has nothing to do with this story and finds it hard to believe that, but certainly, the mood in the team is not the same as last year.</p><p>The young Monegasque takes out his phone and looks for someone to talk to from the list of recent contacts. The third name attracts him: maybe it's time to talk to Pierre. It is from Sunday's dinner that the two don't see each other or speak. Charles needs someone to confide in and feels he misses talking to Pierre, especially now that he understands the cause for their communication problems.<br/>
“Hi Pierre, are you travelling?”<br/>
After a few seconds, the ticks under his message turn blue. An image appears on the chat screen: the two Alpha Tauri drivers smile at the screen, both wearing sunglasses. Behind them, Charles sees the gallery of the plane similar to theirs.<br/>
“How are you, Charles? Are you enjoying the flight? It's our last moment of relaxation” the other continues in a message.<br/>
The young man was surprised to see the harmony between his colleagues, from the outside it doesn't seem like there's good blood between the two. Who knows if it's all a scene for what happens in the race? Perhaps it's easier for them: their season is going quite discreetly, they don't have huge ambitions to respect and theoretically, there's a clear hierarchy. He and Seb, on the other hand, are both first-seat drivers. In terms of seniority he should be the second driver, but, so far, the points state the opposite. Furthermore, he no longer feels suitable to be his colleague's wingman: if he manages to give the best of the German, he doesn't see why he should slow down. After all, they're in Formula One to race and to win. Although he would give a lot to get back the relationship he had last year with Seb.<br/>
“Relax is not the best word to me, unfortunately. But I'm resting from fatigue, yes.”<br/>
“How's the situation with Seb?”<br/>
“I wish it were better, but it makes no sense to lie. I hope to be able to recover it in the next races, but you know we're both very competitive.”<br/>
“Yes, Charles, I know you well. But the important thing is that you fight behind me.” At the last sentence, Pierre added the emoji of a wink.<br/>
Charles's lips pucker into a smile, even though his friend was shitting him.<br/>
“We'll see” he replies, attaching a face showing the tongue.</p>
<hr/><p>Alex takes his carry-on bag from the top compartment of the plane and follows Max down the aisle before descending the steps and touching the ground. As soon as he passes the door of the aircraft, a heatwave hits him, taking his breath away. Wearing long pants hadn't been a wise idea, he thinks, noticing his colleague's Bermuda shorts, matching the team's polo shirt. “You were right to dress short” he comments aloud, hoping to start a conversation with him. During the flight the other hadn't opened his mouth, luckily he had chatted a bit with the technicians or Alex probably would have died of depression.<br/>
“Yeah” the Dutchman replies with a wink. “Always remember: the hottest races are Barcelona and Bahrain, but while in the Emirates you run at night and the climate is dry, here in Spain the humidity kills you. Let's hope the tires hold up this time” he concludes, turning in the direction of the small airport.<br/>
Then he turns back to his colleague and specifies “At least, our tires.”<br/>
Alex smiles, uncertain if he was more amused by Max's last line or by the happiness of having exchanged a few words with him. Maybe he's getting closer to that inner circle he was talking about to the others.</p><p>He looks around to see if any other teams have used their same landing spot to reach the Catalan city. He hopes to see something yellow, be it a plane, polo shirts or a pair of caps, but his hopes are in vain. Apart from them, on the runway, there's only a slightly larger aircraft from a Spanish airline. Maybe the others haven't arrived yet, or perhaps they're on the other side of town, he thinks, but it doesn't make him feel any better.<br/>
“Alex!” The driver emerges from his thoughts and notices that the group is heading briskly towards the terminal. “C'mon, let's go: there's air conditioning inside!” John, one of the technicians working on his car, invites him. He lengthens his stride, thanking his long legs, and in no time he reaches the others.</p><p>The airport employees are familiar to the Formula One teams that use their airport, so the drivers hurry through all the checks. The RedBull team is preparing to leave when they hear movement behind them: a swarm of people, dressed in black and yellow, enter the automatic doors leading to the landing strip. Among the yellow masks, there's one that immediately catches Alex's attention: Daniel. The black hat hides his rebellious curls, except for a couple that flutters on his head side, springing his every step. When the other looks up, Alex is kidnapped by two brown eyes that curve upwards following the Australian driver's smile: the most gorgeous the young man has ever seen. If there is another thing he hates about this Coronavirus situation is that, in almost every official release, under the mask is hidden Daniel smile. What would he give now to be able to see it once again! He freezes before his face turns purple in embarrassment, wondering what he would like do with those lips. When Daniel raises a hand to greet them, Alex feels melted. He responds to the greeting with his hand, when suddenly someone pushes him backwards, risking him to fall in front of the baggage claim counter.</p><p>“Don't fraternize too much with the enemy!” a voice in his ear commands. He immediately recognizes Max's tone, but he doesn't understand what he means.<br/>
“But if you talk to him every moment! You were former teammates, why can't we talk to any of the other drivers now?” the young Thai complains.<br/>
Max stares at him wrongly and then hisses: “Yes, we were teammates and now we are still friends, but he remains a good opponent. And we need to focus on the race. Renault can't overtake us after we finally overtake a Mercedes in the race. Without exploding tires.”<br/>
Alex looks at him confused, he can't understand him at all. It's only Wednesday: the race mentality can still wait. Maybe that's why Max is so good on the track. Maybe he should focus more on the race mindset and should start seeing his friends as rivals too.</p>
<hr/><p>George enters the lobby of their Barcelona hotel and looks around: a few people are sitting in the sitting room in front of the entrance of the garden, where a small green meadow opens up with a large tree and a gushing fountain in the centre. The staff manager completes the registrations, then he gives each of those present the keys to a room and makes an appointment for everyone in an hour outside the hotel. Most of them take the lift, but George chooses to use the stairs with his friend Tim, a member of his racing staff. They start talking about the car: they'll have to work for a completely different setting due to the almost opposite temperatures compared to the two British weekends. Once on the second floor, Tim stops and greets him, leaving him alone.</p><p>“George?” he hears someone calling him from behind. When he turns around he notices Nicholas and two other staff members following him.<br/>
“Nicholas” he replies, stopping to wait for him,<br/>
“Oh come on, please call me Nick, mate. I seem to hear my mother when she has to call me back for something I did” the other pleads, making them both laugh heartily.<br/>
“Are you on the third floor too?” the British driver asks once they have recovered.<br/>
“Yes,” the other replies once they get to the landing. “Room 312” he explains, showing the key to his colleague.<br/>
George, in turn, shows him his keychain, on which is written the number 307. After walking halfway down the aisle, Nicholas stops by his door. George turns and notices that his room is directly opposite.<br/>
“Well,” he concludes, trying to stay rational “see you in an hour, I suppose.”<br/>
“See you later.”</p><p>When he enters his room, George lowers the handle of his trolley and throws the backpack on one chair at the entrance, then he leans against the closed door and lets himself slide to the floor, enthusiastic. They're finally opposite. And they've also talked. Too bad there is still a long way to go, but how good is it to hear Nick say his name? Giggling softly, he explores the room and decides to empty his suitcases before wasting all his one hour of freedom to fantasize.<br/>
Once the wardrobes are full with his things, he gazes at the inner garden off the balcony. Then he throws himself on the bed to rest for a while before taking a stroll around the city. It's the least stressful part of their racing world tour. Of course, he loves racing in Formula One, but the pressure – not just physical – that the drivers are subjected to is not small, so having a full day to enjoy some good company and to explore the city is a great way to charge the batteries.</p><p>When the group reunites, the team manager warns that the cars are still on the way and will arrive in town around dinner time, so they have the rest of the day off. The only recommendation he gives them is not to spend too much time in the sun: Barcelona isn't the best city for strolling downtown in the middle of August. Together they walk towards the city centre. Nick would like to visit some works by Gaudì, even if they'll probably be full of people. The masks don't relieve the sultry climate, so after an hour of walking a part of the staff stops to a pub to cool off and have a drink. The drivers and some other technicians instead decide to continue a little longer.</p><p>After admiring the balconies of Battlò House and the imposing structures of Park Guell, covered with azulejos, they too decide to stop in a bar to quench their thirst. A beautiful waitress, with her dark hair tied up and two large red lips, approaches for the orders. One of the technicians was telling the drivers “Since you won't drive, you can drink. You have to: here they make a delicious beer.”<br/>
George then orders one and turns to his colleague, who, however, had stopped staring at the girl. The English driver sighs, trying not to show any sign of discomfort and awakens the other with the elbow.<br/>
“Oh, yes, a beer for me too, thanks.”<br/>
George snorts in the heat, and not only: his conquest has started in the worst way.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. I want a break free</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>2020 Spanish Grand Prix | Barcelona</p><p>The boys finds themselves with Charles, knowing that he will need some comfort. Along the seaside, the four tell the developments of their love affairs.</p><p>Lando doesn't know how to manage Carlos's departure, while Charles is angry about the pitiful condition of Ferrari. George is tired of not earning points and Alex is dejected to be constantly compared to Max.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey there :)<br/>I'm sorry I disappeared, but I had two exams last week and I was unable to post. I hope you enjoyed the previous chapters. Here's the next one.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Spanish Grand Prix ended without big surprises: Lewis won the race, followed by Max in second place and Valtteri in third. Charles didn't finish the race due to a problem at his power unit. After the interviews, the paddock empties quickly, and only the engineers and technicians remain in the garages, re-reading the race data and reviewing the strategies together with some managers and the drivers. George finishes answering about his race and looks around the pit lane. There are few people left outside, running from one side to the other to start gathering the equipment as soon as possible. Even if there'll be a break next weekend, it is a long and tedious job, so it must be done sooner. Suddenly he sees a blue shadow pass in front of his eyes. He focuses and recognizes Alex, who's hurrying from the interview area to the RedBull wall.</p><p>George calls out to meet him. The other driver stops and waits for him, forcing a smile.<br/>
The Williams driver proposes to him: “I was wondering we should go to Charles tonight: I think he's pretty down in the dumps.”<br/>
Alex agrees and is about to add something when Lando suddenly joins them from behind.<br/>
“George suggests to go to Charles later” the Thai driver updates him.<br/>
Lando adds: “Oh, absolutely. I caught a glimpse of him before, and he seemed quite furious.”<br/>
Then he greets them with a smile and, as he runs away, mimes the name of Carlos with his lips.<br/>
The two drivers, left alone, burst out laughing. “He's all over him!”<br/>
“See you tonight!” Alex greets him. “Gotta go” he explains, pointing at his box as he resumes walking. George replies to the greeting but perceives a note of bitterness in his friend's voice. Probably he is wrong, he thinks, while returning from his staff too.</p>
<hr/><p>Charles, meanwhile, is already at the hotel. After all, he has already done all the interviews while the other drivers were still racing. He walks in the garden that surrounds the hotel and tries to relax while looking at nature. The heat of the day, however, is unbearable, so he decides to go to his room.</p><p>Relieved by the air conditioning, he sits in front of the balcony and looks at the blue sky, crossed by some solitary clouds. It's tiring to smile at the cameras and answer warmly to the reporters when you want to send everyone to shit. Perhaps even more tiring than finishing the Grand Prix. At least by running you drain the nervous energy. Instead, he had to sit in the pits to watch the others fight for a result, without being able to let off steam, scream or crying from nervousness. He thinks back to his power unit, yet another that abandons him in this cursed 2020. He swears in French, expelling his pent-up anger. He hopes that no one hears him form the other rooms, or, at least, that they don't understand his native language.</p><p>He inhales and exhales. He feels better now. The race sucked, the car did the same. This season is nothing like they had imagined it. At least today Seb got points for the team. Luckily, he's still far from him in the standings. The only solution is to leave all this behind and think about the next Grand Prix: from tomorrow, concentration to Spa.<br/>
Spa. A year later. It will be an intense weekend. But first, there's the break. God knows how much he needs it.</p><p>After a while, the Monegasque gets up to take a shower; then he will enjoy some well-deserved rest on his king-size bed: the Spanish hoteliers know well how to pamper a guest.</p>
<hr/><p>George is reflecting about another zero he's added to his collection. After one and a half year, this is very stressful, mainly because the car is improving race after race. He reaches the meeting spot he has chosen and waits for his friends. It's some minutes past 9 pm, but there are still only a few people in the garden. He remembers Carlos telling them that the Spanish usually have dinner later than the English, maybe because of the climate, who knows? He spots a couple kissing under a tree and two girls resting on the grass while their dogs are playing nearby.<br/>
“Are you daydreaming?” Lando teases him. “Thinking about Nicholas?”<br/>
George turns red and looks at the other angrily. “No... about Carlos, to be true” he answers, sticking out his tongue.<br/>
Lando gasps, but then he laughs at the joke. Alex arrives at that moment and smiles too at the funny scene.<br/>
“Sorry, I'm late” he apologizes. “We can go.”<br/>
The trio walks towards Charles's hotel, crossing the small park and some tiny houses on their way. They arrive at a small square near the hotel when they see Charles walking and looking around.<br/>
“Hey, Charles” Lando greets him.<br/>
The Monegasque turns to them terrified but then recognizes them and smiles.<br/>
“Hey, boys! What are you doing here?”<br/>
“Well… we were coming to meet you.”<br/>
“You know? We do this after every race” Alex explains ironically.<br/>
“Yeah, we thought you wanted to talk and confide a bit” George concludes.<br/>
“We thought your place was the right choice, because-”<br/>
“Oh no, man” Charles interrupts him. “No way. I couldn't stay there any longer. I want to breath fresh air and not see anyone for the rest of the day.” After his words, the three turn sad.<br/>
“Oh, I wasn't referring to you. I'd like to go out with you. Just, not in my room” he corrects.<br/>
“What about a stroll along the sea? Then we can go to a bar if you want” Alex suggests.<br/>
“That sounds perfect” Charles answers, while his lips curve up, forming a smile.</p><p>The four go walking a few meters from the beach. To Charles, this view remembers of his home. He will be there soon and can't wait for it. The others are attracted to the sea and can't stop looking at it. They all have travelled a lot, but this is still so different from their English beaches. It's half-past nine, the sky is getting dark, but they could nevertheless go there for a swim.<br/>
“I see you like the Mediterranean Sea” Charles states.<br/>
“Oh, yes, definitely. I wouldn't mind taking my shirt off and having a swim” George answers.<br/>
“Oh boy, we know you can't stay 24 hours with your shirt on” Lando laughs.<br/>
“Hey, Alex, what's up?” George asks, seeing his friend a little sad.<br/>
“Oh, nothing, really. I love the sea too: the sound of the waves touching the shore is very soothing. I can listen to it for hours.” A blue reflection sparkles in his eyes “It makes me feel relaxed and, you know, as if all the problems in the world disappeared for a moment.”<br/>
“Man, this is a very profound thought: you must be hiding us something, I think it's time to have a drink” Lando suggests.<br/>
“Are you old enough to drink here?” Charles teases him.<br/>
Lando gives him a killer look and shows him the middle finger. The other gets close and hugs him for a second, then they return to a suitable distance.<br/>
“I'm tired of not being able to hug you, guys” the Brit states. “It's so sad.”</p><p>They sit outside a bar on the pedestrian street that runs along the beach, enjoying the view of the sea. George looks at his friends but finds it difficult to read their emotions under their masks. Finally, the beers arrive, and they can remove them. Enjoying the first sip, he asks Alex what upsets him.<br/>
Alex reports his interview: “They were all saying things like Max arrived second and managed to overtake Bottas, while with the same car I finished eighth and was also lapped by Hamilton.”<br/>
“As anyone else did, except for the podium” Lando states.<br/>
“Exactly. This is a recurring question after all these races: Max arrives usually in third but you are much further away. Max here, Max there, Max everywhere. I mean, are you interviewing me about my race or his?”<br/>
An awkward silence follows his last words until George speaks: “You're absolutely right: journalists are dickheads, when they want. There's a question I want you to hear, but, please, don't get mad at me, okay?”<br/>
Alex nods, then the other continues: “The reporters are right about one thing: you and Max have the same car. I know you've had a lot of struggles and misfortunes in these races, but has he probably different settings than you? Otherwise, how can you explain these big differences between the cars?”<br/>
“Boy, you may not be as fast or as experienced as Max, but sometimes you have two opposite car performances!” Charles adds.<br/>
“Well, I… I don't know, buddies” Alex looks at the ground to avoid their looks.<br/>
“Hey, Alex, look at me. You won't be left at home by RedBull, don't ever think about it!” Lando comforts his friend by patting him on the shoulder.<br/>
“Thanks, Lando, but, you know, rumours are always there: I can't stop hearing them. After Seb's breakup with Ferrari, it is rumoured that he will go to RedBull or RacingPoint. We all know my situation and it's not too difficult to put two and two together...”<br/>
“This drivers market will drive me crazy! We're just like footballers!” Lando blurts out “I finally managed to talk to Carlos about his signing with Ferrari, but I didn't get enough informations. I'll let you know. By the way, how's about Seb?”<br/>
All eyes move to Charles, who is nonchalantly drinking his beer. He clears his throat: “Our flight was depressing. He didn't talk about anything but the race tactics. It was sad, we don't talk much anymore” the young man seems confused, he doesn't know what to do with him. “And trust me, I don't know anything about his departure. I tried to chat with the managers, but they didn't want to tell me about it. It all happened between him and them.”<br/>
“Lando, do you have to tell us something else about Carlos? You were basically running to him after the interviews” George encourages him, before taking a sip.<br/>
The younger blushes and explains: “Well, nothing more than the last time we spoked. But I would suggest not doing it here. I don't want it to go public” he concludes leaning forward and lowering his voice.<br/>
They take the glasses and finish their beers. Then Lando drives them to his hotel: they won't be disturbed, since Carlos has already left.</p><p>Once in the room, they can finally take off their masks and breathe in the fresh air. It's still too hot for them outside.<br/>
“I don't know how Carlos can be used to this heat!” Alex complains.<br/>
“Neither do I, but I think we have another question waiting for an answer first” George recalls.<br/>
“Yes, sure! Do I have to take a bottle to spin it?” Lando jokes, sitting on the floor.<br/>
The others follow him and form a small square. The guest starts speaking first.<br/>
“Well, I talked a little bit with Carlos during the flight, especially about Ferrari, as I said before, and his family. He couldn't wait to see them, because during the last break they preferred him not to risk since cases in Spain were increasing. They still are, but he had to come here for the race as well, so these days he can meet them.” He pauses and looks at them a little embarrassed. “After the interviews, I was running because I wanted to greet and wish him a good flight since we won't seeing tomorrow.”<br/>
“And what about you? Any news from your crushes?”<br/>
“I wish I didn't” George answers sadly. Then he explains: “We walked around the city after the flight. The sun was melting us, so we entered a bar. Martin, one of my mechanics, told us we could drink, as we weren't going to drive. A beautiful waitress came to take orders, and I had to wake Nick up because he was staring at her.”<br/>
Someone gasps.<br/>
“I think he's pure straight, guys, I don't know what I can do. And this time we had the rooms facing each other. I was so happy about it.” He gets sad and whispers: “Maybe I should forget him. Him and my stupid crush on my teammate.”<br/>
“Oh, no, George, don't talk like that. We're young, and we live with other male drivers for something between three days and a week, in close contact with them. I think it's normal to have a crush on someone” Alex comforts him. “That doesn't mean you have to break down so easily, bro. If you want him and there's even the slightest chance that you two will be in a relationship, you have to fight for it!”<br/>
“Thank you, Alex. I'll do it!”<br/>
“Well said, man. When did you study all these psychological things? Tonight you're bringing out only deep thoughts” Charles adds. Then he starts talking about his secret love: “I didn't spend much time with Pierre this week, we just talked a little bit between free practise, and I sent him some messages.” He shrugs, then remembers: “By the way, he sent me a photo during the flight. I'll show it to you.”<br/>
He picks up the phone and opens the conversation on whatsapp. Then he shows them the photo.<br/>
“What? Is he really smiling with Daniil close by?” Alex snaps.<br/>
“Yes, I don't understand. They look so hostile to each other in the paddock.”<br/>
George supposes: “Maybe it's just a strategy? Make others believe that they are two rivals instead of two friends?”<br/>
“Probably, but why? I've never seen them talk too much in the paddock, but I've never seen them arguing angrily either” Lando says. “Maybe they're not faking this internal rivalry… maybe it's just what we think, and it's far from reality.”<br/>
Alex replies: “I don't know, but speaking of relationships… we met with the Renault team at the airport.”<br/>
“Whoah!” others say excitedly.<br/>
“Oh, no, nothing happened, unfortunately. But Max told me not to fraternize with the enemy, referring to Daniel. I protested because they were teammates and are always chatting in the paddock. But he replied that the other drivers are opponents and Daniel is a good driver, so he has to stay behind us in the race. It seemed that for Max, Daniel was nothing more than an opponent to beat. Not a colleague, or a friend, just a rival.”<br/>
“Well, that is from Max. No surprise at all!” Charles states.<br/>
Alex remembers what he thought about seeing his friends as rivals and reflects it's something to start thinking about from next week.<br/>
“Luckily we have a week off now” he sighs in relief.<br/>
“Yes, you can say it loud! I only want to stop thinking about all the Ferrari problems...”<br/>
“… about not having scored a point yet...”<br/>
“… that Carlos will leave me at the end of the year...”<br/>
“… or stupid comparisons between Max and me” Alex concludes the circle.<br/>
“The only sad part of this is not seeing any of you” Lando says.<br/>
Then George suggests: “Well, we can have a video call.”<br/>
They agree with him.<br/>
“Can I have a toast?” the other three turn to Charles, nodding. “To this relieving break. And to friends! Thanks, guys, you made me happier tonight.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Poor Charles!<br/>Luckily they have a week off after three races in a row. And after many things to deal with, they just need some relax.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. One year later</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>2020 Belgian Grand Prix | Spa</p><p>Many tears in this heartwarming race, especially for Charles and Pierre during their memory of Anthoine.<br/>In the hospital for a quick checkup after the accident, George receives an unexpected visit.<br/>Lando argues with Carlos and finds comfort in Alex, who later has a drink with Daniel.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Charles breathes out as he enters the paddock. He knew it would not be the same to enter the Spa circuit again. It is only Wednesday, but the works in progress are almost complete. A lot of mechanics are running around him, but for Charles the paddock has never been so empty.<br/>
He sees Pierre a few meters away and approaches him, each step as heavy as lead. The Frenchman nods towards him, and then they start walking together, side by side, to that terrible turn. A bouquet is already there, under the plaque and a photo of Anthoine. They reach the point where their friend lost his life a year ago. A lonely tear traces Charles's cheek, his lips quiver. Pierre has reached his limit and collapses, unable to stand. He leans on the ground and begins to cry in memory of his dear friend. Charles reaches out and touches Pierre's head to caress him. After a while he starts to cry too. He sits next to his friend and hugs him from behind, continuing to sob. They don't say anything. They don't need it. The grief and the loss are too big to talk about, to understand and to accept. “I miss” Pierre whispers imperceptibly, immediately interrupted by his sobs. “I miss him, Charles. I don't… I don't how to handle it.”<br/>
The Monegasque hugs him tightly. “I miss him too” he replies. Then he strokes Pierre's back to comfort him and says sweet words to him. He feels like a mother cradling her child when he is in pain.<br/>
“Charles?”<br/>
“Yes?”<br/>
“I know that we are competing on the track and sometimes I'm not very friendly on race weekends-”<br/>
“Hey, this is normal, you don't have to worry” the Ferrari driver immediately interrupts him.<br/>
“Yes, but sometimes I get very competitive and, you know, I can easily get angry about something that happens in the race, but please, don't leave me. I've lost enough friends and I can't...” but he can't finish the sentence because of his crying.<br/>
“I'm not going anywhere, Pierre. I'm your best friend: I won't leave you.”<br/>
Charles feels a bit hypocritical in saying that he is his best friend, while he would like to be something else to the man he is hugging and crying with.</p>
<hr/><p>George sits under the screen next to his engineer and follows the final lap of the Grand Prix. His race lasted only nine laps after one of Antonio's tires hit his car and sent him off the track. The speaker shouts: “For the fifth time in this championship, Lewis Hamilton climbs on the top step of the podium, followed by Valtteri Bottas and Max Verstappen.”<br/>
Then George gets up and goes to the hospital with a doctor from his medical team. He had a first check-up immediately after the car accident, but as always the drivers are subjected to other exams by the local hospital to make sure there are no problems. The data analysis with the team is being postponed just before dinner so that George can rest easy for a few more hours. He leaves the visit and awaits the results with his doctor. A few minutes later, he sees Nick coming from the hallway and reaching them.<br/>
“Hello. How are you?”<br/>
“Fine, thanks.”<br/>
“I'm happy to hear it” the Canadian replies. Then turns to the other and suggests: “Doctor Rogers, if you have to go, I can stay with him. I will take him back to the hotel later. I'll call you if anything happens.”<br/>
“Okay, thank you. I recommend. See you later!” the doctor concludes.<br/>
Once he has gone, the Brit asks his teammate: “What are you doing here?”<br/>
Nick pretends to be offended: “If you don't want me, I can leave right away. I think Dr Rogers is still in the parking lot.”<br/>
“Stupid!” the other laughs. “I meant, why did you come? You didn't have to.”<br/>
“I wanted to know if you were okay. Also, analysing the race was not very interesting. Did you see it?”<br/>
“Yes, until the end.”<br/>
“Okay, so you'll understand that talking for hours about my sixteenth place wasn't exactly the happiest thing to do.”<br/>
“George Russell?” calls a doctor, interrupting them.<br/>
“Here I am” the boy replies, reaching the man.<br/>
“Everything's fine. I have not encountered any problems. I'm sorry for the wait and for letting you come here for more exams, but it's the practice” he explains with a shy smile.<br/>
“Oh, no problem. There's no need to apologise. One more exam is better than one less in these cases. Thank you, doctor.”<br/>
“You're welcome. Bye.”<br/>
Nick is waiting for George on his feet. “Then?”<br/>
“It's all right.”<br/>
“Great! Are you okay?”<br/>
“Yes, why do you keep asking me?” George begins to get irritated.<br/>
“Are you sure? Aren't you hungry?”<br/>
“I'm starving.”<br/>
The Canadian smiles: “Perfect. Here we go! We have to celebrate!”<br/>
“For what?”<br/>
“Did they hit you in the head? You entered Q2 yesterday: we have to party! And above all, I want to try the real Belgian waffles, obviously with nutella.”<br/>
George can't stop laughing.</p>
<hr/><p>He knocks on the door, hoping to find his teammate.<br/>
“Who's there?” a voice asks from inside the room.<br/>
“I'm Charles. Can I come in?”<br/>
“Sure, it's open” Sebastian answers.<br/>
As soon as the older sees Charles's expression, he gasps: “Hey Charles, what happened?”<br/>
The younger starts sobbing: “I don't know, I… I just can't” he tries to talk but then only hugs Seb and starts crying like a fountain.<br/>
“Hey, calm down! I got you, don't worry.”<br/>
The German begins to reassure the boy and hugs him tighter, while the other continues to cry, hiding his face on the other's shoulder.<br/>
“Ok boy, you're fine. Cry, let the tears come out.”<br/>
A few minutes later, Charles manages to speak again. Seb asks what happens and the other explains: “I thought that during the minute of silence for Anthoine I would not be able to stay calm and I would burst into tears. But surprisingly, I was able to remain silent and quiet.” He looks at the other, to make sure he understands his elaborate explanation. Seb looks at him kindly, with shining eyes. “What kind of friend am I? I didn't even cry.”<br/>
“Don't you dare! Don't blame yourself for not crying. You were concentrating on the race: it is normal. You're a professional driver, for God's sake, and Anthoine knows that too. Just because you haven't cried doesn't mean you're a bad friend. You just cried for five minutes only because you felt guilty.” Seb's voice softens. “You proved how much you cared about him last year. Winning here at Spa after some pretty tough races proved you are a good friend. You're a brilliant driver and a loyal friend. Never dare to doubt it!”<br/>
Charles wipes his face and hugs his teammate once again. “You're a wonderful person, Seb, and now I know that you're also a good friend. Thank you.”<br/>
“You're welcome. I think racing here is not easy for you and Pierre. You're very strong.”<br/>
“Thanks.”<br/>
A long silence follows. Then the younger one asks: “By the way, how are you? Seb, I'm very sorry about all this. I don't know how to help.”<br/>
“Oh, don't worry Charles. It's not your fault. As you can see, Ferrari isn't that good anymore. You won here last year, and today? We finished 13th and 14th. It sounds like a joke.”<br/>
“Yeah, it wasn't exactly what I had in mind when I first arrived here” the Monegasque confides.<br/>
“Don't tell me” the older one laughs bitterly. “I came here after 4 World Champion titles. I thought that with Ferrari I would at least fight for another World Title. But every year, I have seen the team get worse and worse. Technical mistakes, car problems, wrong strategies, I saw it all with my own eyes while driving my red dream.”<br/>
Charles nods his head, partly knowing what the other is talking about.<br/>
“Two years ago I wasn't too far from the lead in the first half of the Championship, but then Lewis and Valtteri started running away and I couldn't do anything.” Seb tells his teammate, recalling something of what it looks like an era ago. “I'd have liked to have kept the championship alive for another couple of months, but I had some issues, and we failed some strategies. The problem right now is that the car isn't good at all, but at least we're limiting those stupid mistakes.”<br/>
“You know? I'm happy to be able to talk about these problems with someone who understands” he adds.<br/>
“Oh, yes, I see what you mean” replies the young man. “I've talked to my friends about it a bit - obviously I haven't told them the whole situation - and I think it's quite difficult for them to understand.”<br/>
“I feel that way with Lewis too. He's probably already dying of laughter at how we are, I don't want to let him know about everything” he laughs.<br/>
Charles smiles: it's the first time he's heard Seb laugh in ages.<br/>
“How many jokes are they telling about you?” the German asks then.<br/>
“Too many. But luckily I'm in good company: Lando, Alex and George aren't so well in the standings to save themselves from the jokes.”<br/>
A chime warns them of a brief meeting on the ground floor in half an hour. Then they will have dinner with the team.<br/>
“Speaking of the devil...”</p>
<hr/><p>He bites his lower lip. Maybe this is not the greatest of ideas. He finished reviewing the data with his engineers and principal staff about an hour ago. Carlos wasn't there. On the other hand, what kind of data should he have seen? He was unable to start the race due to a technical problem and followed it on the screen in the garage. That's why Lando is now staring at the door to his mate's room, on the second floor of their hotel. He remembers when he heard the news in the call, during the positioning lap. His brain was exploding with that kaleidoscope of emotions. Happiness first: after all, Carlos was one less driver to battle with during the race. Then he felt guilty: it wasn't the fairest thing to think of his teammate. Later he thought about his big responsibility to be the only one who could take home some point in the mechanics standings. In the end he became sad for Carlos: he had been doing well all weekend and not starting the race is the worst option for a Formula One driver.</p><p>He looks down at his shoes, still wondering if knocking and talking to Carlos is a good idea or if he should let the other one sober up. He takes a deep breath and knocks on the door.<br/>
“Who's there?” he hears Carlos ask.<br/>
He swallows. “I'm Lando. Can I come in?”<br/>
Carlos doesn't answer, but a few seconds later the key clicks into the lock and the door opens. The Spaniard is sweating and wearing his gym clothes. “Sorry, I was training.” he says, then steps back to let Lando in.<br/>
“Would you like something to drink?”<br/>
“A glass of water is fine” the boy replies. He doesn't think Carlos has any milk in his hotel room.<br/>
Carlos goes to the fridge and takes a bottle, then fills two glasses and offers one to Lando.<br/>
“Thank you” the younger says.<br/>
They drink their glasses, and then Carlos asks him if there is anything he can do for him.<br/>
Lando blushes and soon replies: “Oh, no. I actually came to talk. I'm so sorry for what happened to you. I want to be there for you if you need it. I don't want to make the same mistake twice.”<br/>
“Oh, that's it. Okay, but I really don't want to talk about it. It was already stressful to hear that I couldn't race after a good weekend. Then I had to watch you guys drive, while I had to sit helplessly in the garage. I've already thought about it too much. I only want to forget it and go on.”<br/>
“Okay, I see you. But, have you talked about it with anyone? I think it's best to talk to other people when we're upset about something. Keeping everything inside isn't good for-”<br/>
“So, when did you get your psychology degree?” Carlos taunts him.<br/>
Lando feels like he's been stabbed in the back. “I don't… I wanted” he murmurs, but the other cuts him off immediately.<br/>
“Please Lando, I don't want to talk about it now. I will probably never want that. Please leave me alone, I don't want to see anyone right now.”<br/>
“Oh, Carlos, but I-”<br/>
“Please, go away, Lando." the older one yells at him. "I can't.” Then he opens the door watching Lando go out and shuts it immediately after the boy has left the room.<br/>
Lando is disoriented and doesn't know what to do now. He runs into his room and then lays down on his bed and starts sobbing. He picks up his phone and texts Alex: “Would you please come here?” and then writes the address and his room number.</p><p>When Alex knocks on Lando's door, he hears a faint reply telling him to come in. He opens the door and finds Lando in bed, under the sheets, his face distraught with tears. He soon runs to him and hugs the younger tightly. Lando starts crying again, and Alex tries to comfort him with sweet words. When the Brit start breathing normally, the guest asks him what happened. The McLaren driver tells him about the discussion in Carlos's room, while the other nods a couple of time.<br/>
“He hates me, like everyone out there.”<br/>
“No, don't be silly Lando, nobody hates you: you're our purest source of joy in the paddock. You always make us happy.”<br/>
“I think that's the problem. I am always cheerful and joyful, and I behave like a child who faces the world of adults. It's not that hard to understand why it's complicated to deal with me: I have no idea how it all works. I only smile and make a few jokes because that's what I do best.”<br/>
“Why do you think this?” Alex hugs him once more and then looks him directly in the eyes. “Hey, buddy, you can't be the problem. You're a person, one of the most wonderful I've ever met in my life, and a person is never a problem. Got it?”<br/>
Lando nods and blows his nose.<br/>
“Thank you, Alex. You're a fantastic friend.”<br/>
“Can I cuddle with you for a while?” he then asks with his puppy eyes.<br/>
“Okay” sighs the Thai driver. “But I think you should cuddle with someone else.”<br/>
“Oh, no. Carlos hates me. I told you what he said to me.”<br/>
“I listened to you. He was a jerk, but I think he doesn't hate you. He was only hating this race day and yelled at you because you were mature enough to talk to him, even if you didn't have to. And you keep telling me you're just a joke teller!”<br/>
They are still talking when they hear someone knock on the door.<br/>
“Did you call someone else?” Alex asks.<br/>
Lando denies with his head, so the other gets up and goes to the door. He opens it and finds Carlos in front of him, looking at the ground. Alex gets irritated and is about to yell at him to leave when the Spaniard looks up. His eyes are red as if he's been crying.<br/>
He sees Alex standing at the door and apologises: “Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't want to bother you.”<br/>
Alex responds with a grim look, which the other knows he deserves.<br/>
“I wanted to apologise for what I said earlier.”<br/>
He doesn't know how to go on and looks away to find the right words to say. “I'm really sorry I was mean to him. I… I'll be back later so you-”<br/>
“Stay here” Alex stops him. Then goes back to Lando and whispers something to him.<br/>
He returns to Carlos, smiles fondly and tells him: “I was leaving. Lando says you can enter.” Then he frowns and approaches threateningly: “If you make him cry once more, you'll have to deal with me. Understood?”<br/>
The other gets scared a little and nods in fright.<br/>
Alex comes back smiling and says: “Goodbye, Carlos.” Then he raises his voice: “Bye Lando, see you later!”</p><p>Alex exits the hall and heads to his hotel. He and Max have the rest of the day off, they just have to be at the hotel for dinner. The sun shines in the sky and lights up the entire city. Alex breaths in the fresh air and smiles. He always feels relieved when he can help one of his friends. He hopes that Lando and Carlos will reconcile. He has never seen Carlos cry: he probably felt very guilty. And he still had to vent the tension for not racing today.<br/>
A yellow sparkle to his right brings him back to earth. He is passing a hotel he hadn't seen when he went to Lando's two hours earlier. He looks closer and sees black and yellow flags in the hall. He approaches, wanting to understand if his supposition is correct. Then he sees the Renault emblem and realises he is right: this is probably the hotel where the Renault team is staying.<br/>
He sees movement within and watches a man descend the steps and open the glass doors.<br/>
“Alex?” Daniel asks surprised.<br/>
“Hi Daniel, how are you?”<br/>
“Fine, thanks. What are you doing here? Were you spying on us?” the Australian jokes and starts laughing.<br/>
Alex loves the fact that his colleague doesn't wear the mask yet, so he can see his beautiful face when he laughs. He doesn't remember what Dan has asked him, so he laughs too and says yes in a joking tone.<br/>
“I didn't know your hotel was here. I was going back to mine and saw it right when you came out” Alex explains. He omits the part about Lando. He doesn't know if it's something he can share with Daniel.<br/>
“Oh, well. Since you're here, would you like a drink somewhere? I don't want to stay here a second longer. Besides, I almost tasted the Champagne at the race, and now I want a drop of alcohol so bad. You know the Belgians do good beer?” Daniel starts talking a blue streak.<br/>
Alex smiles: “You convinced me with <em>would you like a drink?”</em><br/>
“Perfect. Let's go!”<br/>
They start crossing the main road, Alex follows Daniel, who probably already has an idea of where to go.<br/>
“So, what did you spy on us before I went out and stopped you?” the older asks.<br/>
“I told you I wasn't spying on you” Alex replies, hoping the other is still joking. He doesn't want to be seen as a spy. “I was returning from Lando's hotel. He had a little… problem.”<br/>
Daniel stops and looks at him while the Thai begins to blush.<br/>
“Baby Lando! Is he fine?”<br/>
“Yes, he is.” He stops, pondering if investigating the other's escape would be a good idea. “And you? Where were you going alone?”<br/>
“Anywhere but in the same room as Esteban” he shouts bored. “Believe me, I've never heard anyone bragging about a 5th place. I think you celebrated more soberly.”<br/>
“Well, to tell the truth...” Alex replies. He didn't celebrate at all.<br/>
“Oh, yeah, right. I forgot. In RedBull there's only room for Max's celebration” the Aussie recalls.<br/>
“By the way, congratulations on your 4th place. I think you deserved the podium more than Max” Alex says. He hopes Max will never hear of his last sentence, of Alex can say goodbye to his seat in RedBull for next year.<br/>
Daniel's eyes widen as he thanks his colleague for the compliment. “Don't let Max hear you!” he whispers then.<br/>
They walk into a bar and start talking about Esteban, Max, their teams and other things not related to Formula One.</p><p>An hour later, they both get a message from their respective managers. They are waiting for them for dinner in two traditional Spa restaurants. They get up and go back to their hotel, greeting each other halfway. Alex smiles brightly and hops to his hotel enthusiastically. Once in his room, he sits on the bed, giggles and texts on the whatsapp group he shares with Charles, Lando and George.<br/>
“Guys, I'll wait you here after dinner. I have some good news to share with you. I can't believe this all happened. I'm so happy. Can't wait to tell you!”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I don't want to count how many times I've written crying in this chapter. I hope you will appreciate it anyway.<br/>I nudged the riders slightly towards their crushes and added some Seb and Charles moments to give them some joy. They need it during this time.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. The last time</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>2020 Italian Grand Prix | Monza</p><p>The recipe for the craziest race in the championship?<br/>An unexpected podium, the Williams family's farewell to F1, a Carlando moment, some cuddles for Alex, a Nick/George moment - please, let's find a name for this ship - and a lot of party atmosphere.<br/>Welcome at Monza 2020!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lando looks up and watches his teammate waiting for the second prize. He smiles happily. The only regret is not being up there with him. He could've been in third place if he just pushed hard enough: Lance wasn't too far from him. It would have been his second trophy in a year and, besides, he could have been up there with Carlos and be even happier than he is. The trophies come to Pierre, Carlos and Lance and a second later, everything is covered in Champagne. Everyone is super excited around him, but he can't feel enthusiastic right now. There's always a bit of selfishness in seeing who you love to succeed in something while you don't. Charles is probably feeling the same as he watches his close friend and secret crush win here in Monza. The same track where Charles won last year, while today he and Seb didn't finish the race.</p><p>Half an hour later, Lando is in the McLaren garage, where everyone is waiting for Carlos to celebrate and take some photos. When the driver enters the room, it explodes with a roar of joy. Everyone wants to hug him, but they respect the social distance and only give him a pat on the back or a high-five with the elbow.<br/>
After a few minutes, Zak Brown says: “Okay, ladies and gentlemen, we will have enough time to celebrate these performances later! But now, I need you to focus on the garage. We have to dismantle everything as soon as possible: in a week we will go to Mugello, which is not far from here, but the pits won't tidy themselves up. Also, I want the engineers and analysts with me and the drivers: we need to review some race data. Luckily, we won't be long today. Thanks to everyone and again, congratulations to all of you!”<br/>
Lando finally manages to talk to Carlos and congratulates him on the excellent result.<br/>
“Thank you. You too did an amazing race, <em>niño!”</em> the Spaniard replies before the two join the others.</p><p>An hour later, the team is done and can celebrate a little. They start taking pictures and drinking wine in the main room. Everyone is ecstatic, and Lando is grateful to see that a good performance can make the whole team happy: they have been working very hard since the beginning of the season.<br/>
“Hey Lando, come here! I want to take a picture with you” Carlos exclaims.<br/>
The Brit joins him and poses for the photo. They cross their arms behind their backs. Carlos places his hand on Lando's shoulder, while the shorter man puts it on the other's side. They take the picture, and Lando hopes he could stay a little longer in this position, feeling the warmth of the Spaniard through his racing suit.<br/>
Obviously, Carlos lets him loose and steps aside to look at him with a sunny smile. Lando is frowning, and Carlos notices it.<br/>
“Is there anything wrong?” he asks.<br/>
“No, nothing” the Brit replies quickly. Then he confesses: “Well, actually, I need to tell you something.”<br/>
Carlos nods. His expression is calm and reassures Lando too.<br/>
“Before, I didn't feel very cheerful when I complimented you. I'm so sorry about that: I'm really excited for your 2nd place, I'm so happy for you!” He takes a pause. “But at the same time, there's this deep-buried feeling inside me which keeps reminding me that in a few seconds less I could be with you on the podium and receive my second trophy in Formula One. And this feeling doesn't allow me to be as happy as I would like for you and today in general.”<br/>
“Oh, Lando. I'm so sorry you feel this way. You are a smart driver: your first Grand Prix this year was spectacular. I'm sure there will be plenty of chances for you to get on the podium, and win a Formula One race. I bet on it! I know how you feel, and I know this won't leave you for the next few days, but remember: you are a good driver, you'll achieve all your goals and I'm proud of you!”<br/>
The Brit can't hold back all his emotions and hugs his teammate. Carlos holds him tighter, and Lando feels he can stay this way forever. He thanks him, keeping his head on the other's shoulder.</p><p>Lando's pocket vibrates, and they release the embrace. It's a text from the group chat with the others. It's from Alex. “Can anyone please come here? I need you.” A crying emoji follows.<br/>
Lando turns pale and says: “It's Alex. He needs me. I'm so sorry, Carlos. I wish I could stay-”<br/>
“Go, Lando. Alex needs you” the Spaniard replies with a smile. “And thank him for me.”<br/>
Lando blushes, remembering Alex's role in what happened after the last Grand Prix. He smiles at his teammate and runs away.</p><p>When Lando arrives in Alex's room, he runs to his friend, who is shaking from crying on his bed.<br/>
“Hey, Alex, I'm here. I got you.” Then he hugs the Thai driver and lulls him.<br/>
“I don't want to do it again. They're so cruel!” the other shouts, tears still falling from his eyes.<br/>
“Okay, Alex. Breathe now, slowly, well. Follow me” he says, starting to breathe slowly for the other to repeat.<br/>
Lando manages to reassure his friend and then asks him what happened, holding the other in his arms. A vibration alerts them to other messages in the group.<br/>
“Sorry, Alex, I can't move. Soon we're having a party for Claire and Frank's last race. Lando, take care of him!” George apologises.<br/>
Another text comes soon after. This time it's from Charles.<br/>
“I'm just getting out of the hospital. I'll be there asap.”</p><p>“Charles is on his way too. Would you like a glass of water?” Lando offers.<br/>
Alex nods, trying to breathe normally. He wipes his face and smiles a little. It's funny how things can turn around from week to week. He takes the glass from Lando and drinks.<br/>
“Can you tell me why you're so devastated?”<br/>
Alex takes a deep breath and then begins to explain: “I don't know if you saw the last positions, but my race wasn't good at all. I had a lot of problems, and we tried to solve them with pit-stops, maybe one more than necessary. After the red flag, I was unable to drive the as I would have liked and I finished 15th. It was not the result anyone wanted in RedBull, especially after Max didn't finish the race.”<br/>
Lando stares at him, holding his hands.<br/>
Alex continues: “The atmosphere in the garage wasn't great, and I felt the disappointed expectations on my shoulders. But believe me, I couldn't have driven the car better than I did. Max also told me that the car sucked today. He seemed to be telling me it wasn't my fault.”<br/>
“Oh, man, but it wasn't your fault at all!” Lando repeats.</p><p>There is a knock on the door, followed by Charles entering the room.<br/>
“Hey” he greets. “Alex, how are you?” he asks and then hugs the taller boy.<br/>
“So so. Thanks for coming, sit down” he replies, pointing to an empty spot on the bed. “You know my final position, right?”<br/>
“Yes, I watched the race in the garage after the incident” Charles replies as he sits down next to them.<br/>
Alex turns pale: “Oh, sorry man, I almost forgot. Are you fine?”<br/>
“Yes, thank you. I only had a few blows from the crash. Luckily there's nothing more critical.”<br/>
“Oh, I'm relieved to hear that. I was telling Lando that everyone in RedBull was not happy with my 15th place after Max's retirement. But I couldn't have done anything better.”<br/>
“I understand. My car was also not good today. I pushed too hard and went outside” Charles says.<br/>
“Well, you understand me, but in RedBull, they weren't that relaxed. It seemed that I had it all wrong, and it was entirely my fault. I drove as fast as I could, but unfortunately, it wasn't enough” he sighs desperately.<br/>
“You were talking to me about pit-stops...”<br/>
“Yeah, that too. Obviously, when the car doesn't go well, you have to pit, because the tires probably don't perform well anymore, but it seemed like a wrong strategy to me: I made one more pit-stop than everyone else. It's not that hard to understand why I ended up where I did” Alex concludes a bit exasperated.<br/>
“I'm so sorry, man.”</p><p>“Charles, don't be mad at me, but in these cases, I fully understand Seb's frustration. You don't know how it feels when they tell you your teammate is much better than you and they keep asking you why.”<br/>
Charles frowns a little. He knows Alex isn't blaming him, but hearing this about his relationship with Seb hurts him a lot.<br/>
Lando sees him and tries to soften it: “I think Alex means it's not your fault, but from the outside, the only recurring question is why your teammate is so fast, and you are so slow, despite driving the same car.”<br/>
Alex is shocked: “Oh, yes, sure. I wasn't saying it's your fault Charles, please, don't get me wrong.” He puts his hand behind his head, trying to find the right words. “I was trying to explain to you that it's very stressful when reporters keep reminding you that with that car you should end up in a better position, given your teammate's performance. And it's not your or Max's fault.”<br/>
“You know, I never thought that about Seb. But I don't know what I could do to make things better.”<br/>
“Nothing, Charles” Lando replies, patting him on the shoulder. “I think the only way to help Seb now is to stay by his side. You can't change what journalists ask, do or think.”<br/>
“I agree. Totally” Alex concludes.<br/>
“Guys, I'm so happy to have friends like you. You should be with your <em>friends</em> instead of me. Today they have earned a fantastic podium: I'm so happy for them. And for you too.” He looks at them softly. “You have a chance to be with them tonight, so don't waste it on me. I feel better now.”<br/>
“Oh, please, Alex! We have all night to celebrate their podium!” Charles objects.<br/>
“Yes, and I think you still need us for a while” adds Lando. “I think you need to pamper. So, we'll give you some cuddles.”<br/>
Then he hugs his friends, and they start cuddling on the bed.</p>
<hr/><p>Meanwhile, in the Williams garage, everything was festive and the room was filled with blue and white decorations and a big farewell poster on the larger wall. Two giant photos are surrounded by many smaller ones. The first is a photo of Frank Williams and the team at their first race, while the second is the one that they took yesterday, in front of the garage, for their last race.<br/>
George wipes a tear: he really loves this kind of moment. He can't decide whether to be happy or sad. It's so heartbreaking to say goodbye to the amazing Williams family: he's gotten very close to Claire over the past two years. On the other hand, he's so happy to celebrate them for everything they've done for Formula One: it's so astonishing that he can't even imagine it.<br/>
He sees someone walking out of the corner of his eye. He turns around and doesn't see Nicholas behind him, where he was just seconds ago.<br/>
He follows the shadow he saw moving away before. He exits the main room and sees Nick enter his driver room. He hesitates, not sure if the other is sad because of the farewell party or if he's only going to the toilet. Without even realizing it, he stands in front of his teammate's door, so he knocks.<br/>
“Nick, I'm George, are you okay? Can I come in?”</p><p>No answers come from within. George is sure Nick has entered his room. He lowers the handle and opens the door a little. He calls his teammate again, but this time he sees him standing, with his head leaning against the wall. George comes in and goes straight to him.<br/>
“Hey, Nick, are you okay? Is there anything wrong?”<br/>
The Canadian turns to his colleague, and George sees his depressed expression.<br/>
“Hey.”<br/>
“I was so fucking close, George” the other says, his voice shaking as he calls his friend name.<br/>
“Oh, I know Nick, sometimes it's so frustrating you can't stand it. But you know, our time will come. We will get there!” the Brit smiles, reassuring him.<br/>
“I was… Oh, George, I'm sorry. I know you deserve it a lot more than I do, I know I'm only in my rookie year, but it's the second time I've ended up 11th this year. I was so close today. And even though I know it would be fairer for you to make our first point, I could have done it today in their last race. I could have brought home the most amazing point of their story, their last one.”<br/>
He can't say anything else and starts crying. George feels a pang in his stomach, takes a step forward and holds him in a hug.<br/>
Nicholas resumes: “It's not fair! They deserved it. We deserved it. Even if you should...”<br/>
“Oh stop repeating this bullshit! I don't care who gets the first points: the most important thing is that we get them. I'm so sad you failed to achieve this important goal, but stop saying it should have been me.”<br/>
The older one starts crying again: “I was so close, it's so fucking wrong.”<br/>
“I know, Nick. I know you did everything you could to get tenth, it's not your fault. It just wasn't supposed to be that way. Come on, stop crying now. You have to be happy and smile like you always do. We have to celebrate Frank and Claire, and you did an amazing job in the race today. They couldn't be more proud of you, believe me.”<br/>
George stays in Nick's arms for a while, enjoying the moment.</p><p>Nicholas lets George go, wipes his face and smiles at his mate: “Thanks, George. I needed it.”<br/>
“You're welcome” the other answers, with a big smile.<br/>
“How can you bear it? You've been driving a Williams for more than a year.”<br/>
“How can I handle what?”<br/>
“When rookies arrive in Formula One after winning or remaining in the top positions in F2 they think they are capable of racing with the big names. But then it's so hard to score even one point. I didn't expect to win a race or get a podium, but at least get in the points a couple of times, yes! It's so fucking frustrating!”<br/>
“Well, I think you're handling this very well: I always see you smiling and being so fucking optimistic! Sometimes I need to look at you to get the strength to carry on.”<br/>
“I try my best to be positive.”<br/>
“You are doing it great! To answer your question, I think I can't stand it, I only try to drive my best and to work on myself and with the team. Outside of the racing world, they think this is an individual sport, but they don't know how much we rely on our team to achieve our goals.” George pauses for a second, looking at his friend. “This is why I like celebrations like the one that starts in a few minutes: they show how much we really care about each other. And this is so astonishing that I almost cry every time.”<br/>
“Well, if you cry, I'll be there to comfort you as you did me.”<br/>
“Thank you. Let's go!”<br/>
“That's what mates are for.” Nick smiles and opens the door for George.<br/>
The Brit smiles and thanks him, trying to hide the pain of being called mate by his secret crush.</p><p>They return to the garage just in time to see Frank and Claire approach the centre of the room and starts talking into the microphones. Frank remembers the first time he and his former team participated in a Grand Prix: the intense emotions and the pride of being there. Then he tells them about the thrilling feeling of winning a Championship, with a driver and as a team. He calls the few others in the room who share this memory with him. After him, Claire starts talking. She addresses the few women present and tells them that Formula One can be a sport and a place where women can work too, and where they too can play an important role. She thanks her father for giving her the great opportunity to be where she is now and for all the support he has always given her. Then she thanks everyone for the achievements they have achieved together and for being a marvellous family much more than a place of work where they spend most of their time.<br/>
Everyone applauds and shouts their joy and gratitude to them. George shouts <em>whoah</em> after wiping away a tear, while Nick whistles with two fingers in his mouth. After the speeches, the buffet begins. The drivers start eating something: this is the only day of the year when they can have a diet day off. Plus, the food is incredible and looks really delicious.</p><p>The Williams catch up with them, and the drivers blush for a moment, both being with their mouths full. Frank smiles at them and says: “When I was young I was very hungry too!”<br/>
They all laugh at the joke. Mr Williams returns serious and asks his drivers to get down. He touches them on the shoulders and declares: “I'm so sad that I haven't been able to give you the car you deserve to drive. I'm so glad to have you both here. You are the future of Formula One, I'm sure. I hope you'll get Williams back to where it belongs before moving to a better team.”<br/>
“I'm so sad.” George starts answering. He looks at Nick to his right and adds: “We both are, for not being able to get the car to where it should be. Thank you for all the things you've done for me, for us, and for the nice words. I am immensely grateful from the bottom of my heart.”<br/>
“Yes, sir. You took me, us, to Formula One. This is something I'll never thank you enough for” Nick adds.<br/>
“Can we take a picture?” asks Claire.<br/>
“For sure!” they respond, before posing with them for what will likely be a photo full of memories.<br/>
Then Claire turns to the Canadian: “Nick, I'm so happy to have you here. Thank you for all the effort you put into every race and for the smiles you bring us every day.”<br/>
She kisses him on the cheek before hugging him. George feels something bubbling up inside him, but he silences his jealousy and smiles at the cute scene.<br/>
Claire reaches him and says: “George, we've been through so much in these two years. I'm so sad to let this go, but I think it's the right thing to do. I'm really proud of you: you've improved a lot over these years, and I'm sure you'll reach your goal sooner than you think.”<br/>
“Oh, thanks, Claire. You're making me cry.”<br/>
They hug, and she kisses him on the cheek too.<br/>
“Well, I have about another hundred people to hug, so I'll see you later. And please, enjoy the food. Your diet is no longer my problem.” she concludes with a good laugh.</p>
<hr/><p>Charles feels a little out of place while waiting outside the AlphaTauri block in the paddock. He suggested to Pierre that he probably wouldn't be welcomed into their garage at his party. After the tenth time Pierre told him that he had already asked and there were no problems, Charles accepted. But now he doesn't feel so comfortable joining what should be another team's private party.<br/>
“Charles!” the Frenchman welcomes him as soon as he crosses the glass door.<br/>
“Pierre, I'm so happy for you, mate!”<br/>
They hug and then Pierre leads him to the main hall, where there is already some food and a large poster saying <em>Pierre king of Monza.</em> Charles laughs ironically inside, remembering how he felt about being the king of Monza. Last year he had celebrated with a red wave of thousands of people under the podium, enjoying the moment and being called the king of Monza and the fated boy. Pierre, unfortunately, couldn't have a big party outside, nor did he have thousands of fans who could cheer him on for his win.<br/>
“So I have to call you His Majesty?” he asks, laughing.<br/>
“Well, you could.”<br/>
Charles notices how others look at him, and he feels, even more, a fish out of the water.</p><p>Franz Tost, the team principal, starts speaking in one side of the room, where a small stage had been set up. He thanks all his team, his second big family, for the effort they put into everything they do week after week. Today they have achieved their first, historic victory as AlphaTauri and he can't be more grateful to them for the glorious achievement.<br/>
“But we have to thank the main architect of today's success. The one who got his hands dirty. Ladies and gentlemen, Pierre Gasly.”<br/>
The room explodes with a roar as everyone claps, cheers and shouts Pierre's name. Charles is with them and smiles brightly under the mask when his friend jumps on the stage and greet everyone.<br/>
“Thank you. Maybe I drove the car, but I couldn't have been there without the work of each of you. I can't thank you enough for this achievement.”<br/>
The crowd explodes again in applause and screaming, while a voice in the loudspeaker shouts: “Twenty-four years after the last French victory, the first victory for AlphaTauri, on the top step of the podium, the king of Monza, Pierre… Gasly!”<br/>
One of the engineers also takes the stage and gives Pierre the first place trophy he received a few hours earlier. The driver picks it up and lifts it into the air, while the room screams again and again.</p><p>Charles is screaming too when suddenly he feels a hand on his shoulder. He turns right and sees Daniil looking at him.<br/>
“Hi, Charles!”<br/>
“Hi, Daniil” he replies, shaking the hand that the Russian has extended.<br/>
“I'm glad you're here for him” the taller man says, pointing to his teammate across the room. “You really mean a lot to him. He told me that you comforted him last week in Spa.”<br/>
The Monegasque doesn't know what to answer. He knows that Pierre and he are very close, but hearing it from someone else has a completely different effect.<br/>
“So I'm in the same room with two winners of the Monza Grand Prix. I hope this track will bring me luck next year too” the other adds, laughing. “I don't claim to win, but getting in the podium wouldn't be so bad.”<br/>
“Well, there's another Italian Grand Prix next week. Who knows? Maybe it will do you good!” Charles states.<br/>
“Hey, you two, what are you doing? I'm getting jealous” says Pierre, coming up behind them.<br/>
“Jealous of whom, sorry?” the Russian asks, before starting to laugh.<br/>
Charles tries not to blush in front of them. Instead he really hopes Pierre was jealous of Kvyat because he was talking to him alone.<br/>
“You can't be jealous” he says then in French. “A king can't be.”<br/>
“Especially if he's the king of Monza” Daniil continues, in the same language.<br/>
Charles is always fascinated by it: the man knows something like five different languages, how can he think correctly when speaking to himself?<br/>
“Sorry guys” the polyglot says, stopping Charles's thought. “I have to go. I have to remind the team that I'm important too.” He walks away laughing.</p><p>Pierre looks at his friend and asks him: “Why are you looking at me like that?”<br/>
“I'm so proud of you, Pierre. I'm thrilled with your result. If I had finished the race, it would have been the best weekend in a while.”<br/>
“It still is, I suppose.”<br/>
“Yes, you're right. It's one of the best. What did I tell you? You have what it takes to win a race. And you did!” Charles reproaches him.<br/>
“Do you also know who was always telling me this? Anthoine.”<br/>
The Monegasque starts to hear the name of their friend.<br/>
“I wish he could be here and celebrate with me, Charles. Do you know what he told me after RedBull demoted me here?”<br/>
The other looks at Pierre: he had never told him about it. This must be a very intimate thing that he shared with Anthoine.<br/>
“He told me-” he stops, interrupted by a sob. “He told me: <em>prove them wrong.”</em><br/>
“Oh, Pierre. You did it! He already knew!” he says, smiling at the Frenchman. “I'm sure he's proud of you.”<br/>
His friend hugs him tight, as if he doesn't want to let Charles go. He begins to cry softly.<br/>
“He surely would have said you should have shaved for the podium ceremony” Charles jokes.<br/>
They both start laughing, breaking away. Charles wipes a tear from Pierre's cheek with his thumb. They are so dangerously close now.<br/>
“I promised him that I wouldn't cry. Only joy today: he'd like me to be happy.”<br/>
“Good boy! Come on, I'm starving. I came here for a reason” Charles teases, winking.<br/>
“I don't remember eating anything last year for your victory here in Monza. I should probably send you away” the other replies, bursting out laughing.<br/>
Then he adds: “I'm kidding. Thanks for coming, buddy. It means the world to me.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. 1000 Ferrari and a Thai podium</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>2020 Tuscan Grand Prix | Mugello</p><p>I was very happy for Alex's podium at Mugello. This chapter focuses primarly on him and his relationships with his friends and Daniel. We have some time for George and Lando to visit Nick and Carlos at the hospital, and for Charles to discuss the thousandth race of Ferrari with Seb.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Alex jumps out of his car and can't contain his joy. He leaps into the air and runs towards his team, who are all waiting for him behind the barriers. Then he goes to the referees and completes all the tasks that follow the end of the race. He takes off his helmet and puts on a mask at the little table reserved for the third driver. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Daniel approaching the paddock, probably headed for the interview area. He reaches him and calls him.<br/>
“Hey, Alex! Congratulations, mate! You did it!” says the Australian, opening the visor of his helmet.<br/>
Alex notices a bitter note in his voice: he knows how much Daniel wanted this podium, but it's his first, and he knows he deserves it too.<br/>
“I'm sorry, man. But I know your time will come. If mine has arrived, yours surely will!”<br/>
“Thank you.”<br/>
He looks behind the Thai and tells him: “I think they are waiting for you now.” Then he goes inside.</p><p>Lando and George are waiting behind their friend. As soon as he turns around, the taller one comes over and hugs him. “You did it, Alex! I'm so happy, man!” Then he steps aside, so Lando too can hug his friend.<br/>
“Thanks, guys. I'm speechless. I can't describe it: it's so overwhelming!” Alex replies.<br/>
“Yes, I know, mate! We're so proud of you!” concludes Lando. Then, the two drivers walk away and leave him with the audience still screaming.</p><p>The happiest interview of his life follows, where no one asks him why he didn't end up next to his teammate, despite driving the same car. Then, he follows the Mercedes drivers to the podium and receives his first Formula One trophy. He raises it in the air, and a few meters below him he sees the RedBull team celebrating and cheering him on. He realises this is the highlight of his career and his lips curl into a smile, acknowledging that he deserved it today. He takes the bottle of champagne and responds to the alcohol battle his colleagues have started with him. They compliment each other before Alex savours the taste of drinking on a podium for the first time. The taste of victory.<br/>
He finishes sprinkling alcohol on his team, then greets them and sees his three friends watching him from the audience side. They wave to him and then walk away, smiling. He takes the trophy, looks at the Thai flag above him, and then follows Lewis and Valtteri.</p>
<hr/><p>After seeing Alex celebrate with his first trophy, the three walk away from the podium ceremony. Lando and George explain to Charles that they are on their way to the hospital to visit Carlos and Nick.<br/>
“Are they fine? I just saw the pictures of the incident! It was devastating!” Charles asks.<br/>
“Yes, they are both fine. They watched the rest of the race in the pits” explains Lando.<br/>
“I'm glad to hear that. I hadn't quantified the damage before. I didn't want to see the crash before the end. The race was tough enough without looking at it.”<br/>
“I see. I didn't want to look at those photos either. I don't want to blame anyone, but someone didn't fully analyse the situation” says George.<br/>
“Yes, but now I don't even want to think about it. Luckily it's not our job” adds Charles.<br/>
“By the way, have you heard Seb's interview? He talked about you, George.”<br/>
“Really?” the Brit asks, surprised.<br/>
“Yes" Charles answers. Then he starts reading: "He said that <em>he felt a bit sorry for you because he thinks you drove really well, you managed your race well, and that it will come for you. He thinks you really deserved the point today, that you fought harder than anyone else, but you didn't get the result that you deserved.”</em><br/>
“Oh, man, I think I'm going to cry. I have to thank him later” replies George.<br/>
“So? What are you waiting for? Your Princes Charming are waiting for you” asks the Monegasque, winking, before running away.<br/>
“Stupid banana boy!” Lando shouts, recalling the costume Charles wore during an online competition they did during the global quarantine.<br/>
He and George approach the car they are allowed to use to get to the hospital.<br/>
“I drive!” Lando rejoices.<br/>
“I don't think so” replies George, showing him the keys. “I want to get to the hospital safe and sound. We are just visitors, remember?”<br/>
Lando frowns and glares at him.</p><p>Once in the hospital, the two friends separate and follow the instructions to find their teammates.<br/>
Dr Rogers gets up as soon as he sees George approaching. “Don't get too used to this exchange, guys. I'd rather not come here each week. Got it?”<br/>
The two Williams drivers nod in synchrony. The doctor walks away, and George sits down next to Nick.<br/>
“I just saw the incident. Are you okay? They told me you were fine when you got out of the car, but it was really impressive!”<br/>
“Yeah, I'm pretty good considering everything” replies the other. “In reality, I was only hit on the side, but, unfortunately, the car was broken, and I was unable to continue.”<br/>
“I'm happy to hear it!” Then he adds: “I was referring to your health, of course. It was bad that you couldn't finish the race.”<br/>
“I figured it out in the first sentence” Nick replies, laughing. “I'm sorry, man! Without the last red flag, you would have finished ninth. That's so-”<br/>
George covers the other's mouth with his hand. “We are in a hospital. Behave yourself” he whispers to his teammate, before taking his hand away. He didn't realise what he was doing until he did it. He doesn't even know where he found the courage to touch Nick and be so close to him.<br/>
The other looks at him with disappointment. “But they don't even understand.”<br/>
“Oh, trust me! They sure know that word.”<br/>
“Nevermind. I was saying we are too unlucky! We deserve more luck, man. We should go on a pilgrimage or something.”<br/>
George laughs heartily: “Yeah, that would be an idea! We can use this week off to do that.”</p><p>In another waiting room of the hospital, Lando is sitting next to Carlos.<br/>
“It was absolutely incredible! I got spooked. I saw Antonio literally fly through the air after colliding with Kevin, and I couldn't do anything to avoid them.”<br/>
“Hey, take it easy. It has now passed. You're okay now, aren't you?” Lando asks, trying to reassure him.<br/>
“Yes, I'm fine. I was already fine after the incident. I was just a little shocked.”<br/>
“I can only imagine” the young man replies.<br/>
Then a doctor calls Carlos and gives him the results.<br/>
“What did he tell you?”<br/>
“It's all right. I only have a small bruise on my left side. It will pass soon” Carlos replies, before smiling at him.<br/>
They start walking, then the Spaniard confesses: “I didn't expect you here. I thought you were going to celebrate with Alex. I'm happy for him. He has received too much pressure from RedBull.”<br/>
Lando smiles in turn and replies: “Well, we stayed for the podium. He was enthusiastic: he couldn't hold back his joy. Then George told me he was coming here to get Nick and asked me if I wanted to pick you up.”<br/>
Carlos frowns and ponders: “Please, tell me George drove.”<br/>
In response, Lando pushes him aside.<br/>
“Hey, I am battered, remember?”</p><p>George and Nicholas are on their way to the hospital lobby when the first one stops the other and says: “Hey, Nick, I have to tell you something.”<br/>
The Canadian looks at him, confused. The young man continues: “Lando wanted to see Carlos... so we came here together. We are in the same car.”<br/>
“And why should this be a problem, man?”<br/>
George blushes under the mask: “Oh, no, it… it is not a problem. I just wanted to inform you.”<br/>
“I like Lando. He always smiles and spreads happiness. I'm glad you're his friend” says Nick.<br/>
The aforementioned greets them with his hand from the corridor. When he reaches the others, he asks: “Hey, Nick. How are you?”<br/>
“I'm fine, thank you. Carlos and I have seen it badly.”<br/>
“I agree. George” greets the Spaniard.<br/>
“Hi, Carlos. Are you okay too?”<br/>
“Yes, thanks. But I don't want to talk about the incident anymore.”<br/>
“I know what could help us all” Lando states.<br/>
When everyone has the eyes on him, he continues: “An ice cream. I saw an ice cream shop the other day as we were walking here and I noticed it earlier when George was driving. It's not far from here. I bet they also have Nutella ice cream.”<br/>
Nick feels called into question and says: “Are you sure? Then we have to go. I've never tried it in Italy. They make the best ice cream I know.”<br/>
“I like him” Lando says, turning to George.</p>
<hr/><p>Charles feels exhausted as soon as he gets out of the car that took them to the hotel.<br/>
Seb asks him: “Hey, Charles. It's the last day before the week off. Do you want a beer? I offer.”<br/>
“Yes, why not? I think we deserve it.”<br/>
They cross the hall and sit on the sofas of a small bar in the inner part of the hotel lobby.<br/>
“Two beers, please” they order in Italian to the girl who approached with the notepad and a tray.<br/>
They soon change the language of conversation to English: it's not the best thing to speak ill of the national team of Formula One in its language.<br/>
They cheer with the glasses. “To the points. Irrelevant, lucky, and lying points” Seb says, raising his glass, before sipping the blond drink.<br/>
“Luckily we celebrated the 1000 Ferrari races yesterday, today I wouldn't celebrate anything after another shitty race” answers Charles.<br/>
“I don't even know what there was to celebrate last night. A thousand race is a fucking amazing goal, and the new colour - which is the best thing they have done to the car in months - was all they gave us. The whole world was watching the great Ferrari compete in the thousandth race, and all they saw was how scarce we are” Seb complains.<br/>
Charles massages his forehead: “I think Enzo Ferrari would be very disappointed. Without the eight retirements, we would not have entered the points.”<br/>
Seb replies: “For sure! Max, Esteban, Carlos, Lance, maybe even Pierre. They could have all been ahead of us.” He sighs: “I couldn't even stay within five seconds of Kimi. Kimi, who also drives a Ferrari engine.”<br/>
“I understand you” Charles says, smiling bitterly at the German. “Even with a good start after the red flag, when I reached an unexpected third position, I was unable to stay in the front. I fought as much as I could with my pursuers, but I couldn't keep them behind me. Sergio, Alex, Daniel, they all overtook me: it was very depressing. Especially when driving a Ferrari. Above all, in its thousandth race.”</p><p>They drink once more, enjoying the silence. The sun is setting, creating a play of light outside the window. The sky is tinged with red, covering the city and the hotel with the bright colour that made Ferrari famous all over the world. The two drivers, dejected, somehow find the strength to get up, then greet the waiters at the bar and go upstairs. A hot shower is what they need. And a week off couldn't have come at a better time.</p>
<hr/><p>Charles and George reach the McLaren hotel and pick up Lando.<br/>
“Do you have the coordinates?” the Monegasque asks him.<br/>
“Yes, here it is” he says, before placing the phone on the dashboard with the navigator set to the meeting point.<br/>
“I'm so excited.”<br/>
“You didn't come third: Alex is the one who should be” replies George.<br/>
“He is my friend. So I'm involved in his arousal” explains Lando.<br/>
Alex is waiting for them in the parking area. They hug, and then he leads them to a small Italian bar, in a back room. He doesn't want the audience for this brief, intimate moment.<br/>
“I'm sorry guys, but in RedBull, they didn't want anyone of the other teams. Mainly because of the coronavirus, but I think confidentiality is one of their characteristics. Anyway, I wanted to celebrate with you, 'cause you're my friends.”<br/>
“I order some wine and some <em>bruschette”</em> he concludes laughing, unable to pronounce the last word correctly.<br/>
They all try while Charles shows them how to put their tongue and lips together to say it. They're still in the middle of the language experiment when a young waiter enters the room with the aperitif. He laughs and starts serving them. Then he says: “I'm so happy that Mr Albon finished third today. I wish you the best of luck, guys. You're absolutely the funniest guys in Formula One. I think one day you will also be the best drivers and I can say that I've served you today.”<br/>
“Thank you. I'd hug you if it weren't for this pandemic” replies Alex, visibly moved.<br/>
The four cheer and eat the <em>bruschette.</em><br/>
“I didn't know I was that hungry” confesses Charles.</p><p>They talk a little bit about what they did after the race, and George and Lando talk about their visit to the hospital.<br/>
“So, you basically had a double date before getting together?” Alex asks, teasing them.<br/>
The two are about to answer him when the Thai driver takes his phone from the pocket. He reads the sender of the text and winces.<br/>
<em>“Hi, Alex, I'm sorry I was grumpy before. I was a little frustrated after another 4th place. I'm pleased that you have earned your first career podium. You really deserve it. Your race today was incredible! My desire to reach a podium shouldn't have prevailed over the joy of your first one. Please, forgive me.”</em><br/>
“Hey, pal, what's up?” George asks, seeing his friend's expression.<br/>
“Daniel. He wrote to me.”<br/>
“What?” Charles bursts out. “And when would you have told us you have his number?”<br/>
“Well, the last evening we were in Spa when we went out for a drink. He gave me his phone number if I needed someone to speak ill of RedBull” explains Alex.<br/>
“Oh. And how many times have you written to each other?”<br/>
“I have never written to him. He didn't have my number.”<br/>
Lando risks suffocating. Charles, who is sitting next to him, pats him on the back and hands him the glass. Lando drinks and immediately resumes breathing. He apologises and takes another sip of wine. His face is now a deeper red than Charles's shirt.</p><p>“I have to tell you something, Alex” he begins shyly. “In Monza, last week, Daniel came to talk to me about next year. I'm very sorry that Carlos is going to another team, but Daniel is the best teammate I could have, besides you three, of course.”<br/>
He looks at the Thai driver to see if his expression is sending him signs of death. He continues with the explanation: “He joked a little bit, asked a few questions about McLaren, but then he moved the thread to you, Alex. He asked me if I was okay since he had talked to you the week before. Then he asked me if you are happy in RedBull and how they treat you. He told me he gave you his number and - I'm so sorry.” Alex's face is still indecipherable.<br/>
“I thought that if he had your number, it would be easier for you to get closer to him. So I asked him if he wanted it. That's why he has your number.”<br/>
Alex reflects: “But why didn't he use it right after?”<br/>
“He told me he wouldn't use it before you wrote to him.”<br/>
“Man! This is boyfriend material!” George exclaims.<br/>
“Are you angry with me?” Lando says whimpering.<br/>
“Oh, no, buddy. I'm glad you did! Come here, I want to hug you.” He gets up and corrects himself: “I want to hug you all!”<br/>
After the group hug, George asks him: “Now I'm curious. What did he write to you?”<br/>
“He's apologising because I talked to him after the race and he wasn't happy for me. Because he too wanted third place.”<br/>
“Awwwwww!” the other three respond together.<br/>
“I hope you're going to answer him” urges Charles.<br/>
“Yes, I'm going to call him. Do you mind if I go outside to call him?”<br/>
The three let him out while they finish eating.</p><p>An hour later, Alex breathes out before entering the RedBull block. He sees dark blue decorations scattered all over the walls, leading people into the main room. Here, a giant picture of him stands on a small stage in a corner. He is thrilled that the team wants to celebrate him, but he finds that picture of him terrible. It is from the first few days in January, before the pandemic, and his photo shows firmness and self-confidence. He doesn't feel like that now: he is more of an explosion of joy.<br/>
Max joins him from behind and puts a hand on his shoulder, making him wince in fright.<br/>
“Sorry, I didn't hear you coming. You scared me!”<br/>
“Oh, I'm sorry, Alex, I didn't mean to. I want to congratulate you on your result: you have finally shown what you are capable of! Italy didn't bring me luck this year. Obviously, I went out for the incident, but the car wasn't going well already. You couldn't have replaced me better on the podium, mate!” he ends, giving him a wink.<br/>
“Thanks, Max. I'm honoured to hear you say this.”<br/>
“Oh, please, don't be silly. I'm no one you should feel honoured for. Enjoy your great time!”<br/>
Meanwhile, Chris Horner, RedBull's team manager, has taken the stage. He shouts into the microphone: “Ladies and gentlemen, I'm honoured to introduce you the first third classified at the Mugello Grand Prix, and above all, the first Thai driver to get on the podium… Alex Albon!” he concludes, pointing to the young man.<br/>
Alex is still a bit surprised to have all this attention on him, but he jumps on stage and joins his team manager, who gives him his third-place trophy again. He lifts it up in the air once more, while the whole room shouts his name. He holds back a tear of joy and smiles from ear to ear.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This time I managed to write a shorter chapter! I hope you're enjoying the story. Today it is focused more on Alex, because I think that he deserves more love from everyone. Thanks for reading! See you next week :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. From Russia with love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>2020 Russian Grand Prix | Sochi</p><p>After the Sochi Grand Prix, the four friends talk in a bar about the race and vacancies in the teams. Then, Charles and Alex have a phone call with their crushes, while Lando and George spend time with their teammates.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I completely lost my mind and thought the drivers were cold in Sochi, while freezing temperatures were in Germany :(<br/>It was a real shame, as I had already written four parts of this chapter before I found out. I hope this no small detail doesn't affect the work too much.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Hi, guys. What are you doing here?” George asks, seeing his three friends talking together outside the paddock.<br/>
“Hey, George. We've been waiting for you, mate” Lando replies.<br/>
“I found Lando, and we started chatting. Then Charles saw us and joined us” explains Alex. “We wanted to go out before sunset. It's already cold enough now.”<br/>
George agrees: “Okay, fine. We just finished the analysis, so now I have a couple of hours to spare.” </p><p>They sit in a bar not far from the track. The waiter leads them to a private room: they are used to hosting some drivers, and they know they need privacy. Soon after, the conversation turns to the race just ended.<br/>
“Do you know who didn't like my 10th place?”<br/>
“The eleventh” jokes Charles.<br/>
“Antonio?” George asks.<br/>
“What does Antonio have to do with it now?”<br/>
“I wasn't happy either: that point would have served me well” says Lando.<br/>
“I hate you guys.”<br/>
“Sorry, George, that's not what I meant. But since you don't get it... in RedBull. They were quite angry. And I feel Pierre's pressure on the back of my neck. You don't know how much I hate him now, Charles.”<br/>
“RedBull broke the fuck, though” admits Lando.<br/>
“You too, you know, by dint of continuing to talk about the points, holy shit” George gets mad. “If you want to keep talking about it, I'm leaving: I'm not in the mood.”<br/>
“No, George, sorry. You're right, but please, come and tell my bosses that a tenth place isn't to be thrown away!”<br/>
“Eh, I wish I had these problems. Checo is still on foot, guys. There are rumours.”<br/>
Lando asks in confusion: “Hey, wait. Aren't you and Nick already confirmed for next year?”<br/>
“That was with Frank and Claire.”<br/>
“What? So you can risk the seat?” Charles demands.<br/>
“The rumours say that Sergio would bring more media visibility and sponsors… and Mr Latifi's money doesn't suck so bad for the new manager. I risk ending up like a chicken.”<br/>
Lando covers his mouth with the hands, in a shocked expression.<br/>
Charles stands up. “It can't be possible!” he shouts. The French accent arches the sound of the last word, producing the opposite effect. “They can't do it! You've already been renewed. There are still a lot of teams with vacancies. AlfaRomeo and Haas haven't yet renewed any of their drivers.”<br/>
“And there's still my seat in RedBull.”<br/>
“Oh, Alex, stop! Both! Stop it, or I swear I'll stop talking to you. Do you listen to yourselves?” Lando points to Alex: “You were on the podium two weeks ago, what the hell!” Then he moves to the other friend: “And you, George, are doing an amazing job with that crap car - no offence - and yesterday morning you qualified for Q2. This means that, despite the car, you put five drivers behind you. Five! Got it? And now we'll drink and not talk about it anymore. Damn!”<br/>
“Here, let's talk about something else." agrees Charles. "For example, how did you spend the past week?”</p>
<hr/><p>Charles takes off his shoes and coat and turns on the thermostat. It's fucking cold outside. He opens the closet and takes some clean clothes: now he really wants a hot shower. He looks out the window and watches the sun sink into the Black Sea. He remembers last week in Monaco when he was sitting by the beach and watching the sunset with his brother. When Pierre came to see him, they used to go there in the evening and watch the sunset together. He missed those moments. This year, due to the countless races, all close together, and the pandemic, they haven't been able to keep their tradition.</p><p>“Hey, Charles. Nice to hear from you. Tell me!” Pierre says, answering the call.<br/>
“Hi, Pierre. I'm watching the sunset from my bedroom window and remembered our special tradition. I thought I could call you, we barely spoke today” says Charles, sadly.<br/>
“Yeah, that's right. You know, on race day we both focus on the Grand Prix. You did well, right? P6 if I'm right.”<br/>
“Exactly. I heard you had a great race too, mate. P9. And Daniil too, I guess.”<br/>
“Yes” replies Pierre. “This is his home race, he couldn't betray his Russian fans.”<br/>
“I guess. It was nice to have the fans watching us today.”<br/>
The other agrees: “Yes. It was a small sign of normality.”<br/>
“Oh, hey, Pierre. You absolutely must watch the sunset! It's spectacular! I've never seen one in Russia, but this is incredible.”<br/>
“Give me a second, I'm pulling back the curtains. Wow! Dude, it's beautiful. Thanks for telling me.”<br/>
They share the view by staying on the phone in silence.</p><p>“I miss our tradition too, Charles. I really hope we can get it back sooner or later.”<br/>
“I hope so too. I also miss the moments when we talk together. Maybe we can spend some time together after the week off? In Germany, the days before the race? We both know that during the weekend, our race mentality doesn't allow us to talk to anyone, to stay focused on the race.”<br/>
“Yes, I know that too. It's probably just the way we are, and I think we can't change that, but who knows? Maybe that's why we're here in Formula One, and that's why we get the result we got today.”<br/>
“Yeah, I suppose. I'm glad I've talked to you. I just hope we could do it again next weekend.” “Yeah, why not!” Pierre answers.<br/>
The Monegasque hears noises on the other end of the phone, and then a voice speaking in the background. He hears his friend reply that he's coming soon.<br/>
“Sorry, Charles, I have to go. Daniil is calling me. I think we have to go with the team now. Bye, Charles. Thanks for calling.”<br/>
“Bye, Pierre, see you soon.”</p><p>He closes the call and stays at the window. The sun is now below sea level, but its rays still illuminate the sky. It is the same influence that Pierre has on him: his voice lightened him like the sun, and now its effects on him remain even if he is gone.</p>
<hr/><p>Alex takes off his shoes and coat and opens the wardrobe to get a blanket. It's fucking cold outside. He lies down on his bed and looks at the light ceiling. The first thing that comes to mind is Dan's smile. With that in mind, he can relieve the stress of his fucking team, who are never quite happy with his results. He knows that a P10 is not the goal of the week, but Sebastian also didn't score points, and he is a 4-time world champion driving a Ferrari. This should mean something.</p><p>He closes his eyes and slowly breaths in and out. He thinks of the sunny smile of his beloved and tries to stay calm and relax. He throws out the negative thoughts and voices in his head. He keeps telling himself he is fine, and no one will steal his seat in RedBull next year. He finished third in the last race. He is capable and should have more self-confidence. He thinks back to the week off he spent in England, walking in the countryside and breathing clean air. He remembers the sun on his face, the wind in his hair and the smell of the woods. He opens his eyes and thinks it's enough.</p><p>He smiles and thinks he should thank Daniel for his secret stress-relieving techniques. They were successful with him. He dials his colleague's number and waits for the other to answer.<br/>
“Honey badger here, what's up?”<br/>
“Hi Daniel, I'm Alex. I just wanted to thank you: your stress reliever techniques were sensational! I feel better now.”<br/>
“Hey Alex, I'm happy to hear that. Bad post-race?”<br/>
“Yes, as usual. It seems a single point isn't enough for RedBull. But I did my best, and now I think they can go fuck themselves: I don't want them to ruin me another evening just because they blame me for everything” explains Alex.<br/>
“Whoah, man. They did more than better with you. I thought you'd never use those words against anyone” he laughs.<br/>
Alex laughs too. It's amazing how Daniel can surround him with a relaxed atmosphere.<br/>
“Trust me!” the other continues. “They did the same to me. But everyone knows what happens in the big teams: they focus on just one driver and use the second as a guinea pig for innovations, and obviously, he has to drive a car that isn't suitable for him.”<br/>
“Yeah, that's what I feel every time. It's so nice to have someone who understands you!” says Alex.<br/>
“Don't you have your friends to talk to?”<br/>
“Yes, but they aren't second seat drivers. They don't have the same problems as me.”<br/>
“Well, I don't want you to stop talking to me, but if you want to confide in someone else, I can suggest Seb or Checo. Sebastian is more introverted, he looks like Max: he doesn't share his emotions easily. Sergio, on the other hand, is Mexican: he can talk for hours, so you have to be sure you want to ask him something” Daniel suggests, ending with a loud laugh.<br/>
“Okay, thank you. But I don't think I'll ask Checo: he's still on foot, and he could easily steal my seat for next year so-”<br/>
Daniel stops him: “Hey, Alex, stop. What did I tell you?”<br/>
“I won't lose the seat next year. I'm a good driver. I have to stop getting paranoid about this.” Alex repeats the mantra the other taught him.<br/>
“That's my boy!” Daniel applauds.<br/>
“Thanks, man. I would cry on the floor now if it weren't for you.”<br/>
“Bullshit! You are stronger than you think. And you are brave enough to face the criticism they make. But if you need help, you have my number!” Daniel supports him.<br/>
“Sure! Thank you, Dan. I owe you one.”<br/>
“You'll never change, huh? Well, I think I should collect it then, sooner or later” replies Dan.</p>
<hr/><p>Lando takes off his shoes and coat and goes to the thermostat. It's fucking cold outside. He wants to raise the temperature but doesn't understand how the device works. He swears and calls Carlos.<br/>
“Hi Carlos, I'm sorry to bother you, but I can't figure out how to regulate the temperature. Could you help me?”<br/>
“Hey, Lando, yes. There is a trick” replies the Spaniard, explaining to the young man.<br/>
Lando hears the radiators running. He reaches the first and immediately feels the heat radiate.<br/>
“Wow, it worked! Thanks, Carlos, it was already cold outside. I don't want it in my room too.”<br/>
“Why don't you come here, Lando? My room is already warm, so you won't freeze in yours” suggests Carlos.<br/>
“Are you sure?”<br/>
“Absolutely.”<br/>
“Thanks, man. I'm on my way.”</p><p>Carlos is waiting for him at the door. Lando smiles at his teammate and thanks him once again.<br/>
The Spaniard smiles in turn and lets him in. They chat a little about the race, and then Carlos says: “So, I heard that you were very worried about me when I crashed.”<br/>
Lando doesn't answer, visibly confused.<br/>
“Yes, you said: <em>How's the car?</em> immediately after passing me.”<br/>
Lando laughs. “Oh, man. Yes, I remember now. But I have an explanation!”<br/>
Carlos raises an eyebrow: “I'm curious to hear it.”<br/>
“First, I saw you moving in the car. Then I saw the car, and it wasn't very damaged, so you were probably fine” the young man justifies. “The only thing I didn't understand is what you were doing there without a tire, but I thought it was a consequence of the accident.”<br/>
Carlos bursts out laughing. He is absolutely right.</p><p>He becomes dejected and sighs: “It was an amateur mistake. I shouldn't have come out long in that turn. But I saw someone coming towards me, and Max was ahead of me, so I followed him. And then CRASH! I hit the barrier without even making a turn. Sounds like a joke. It was a stupid mistake that cost the whole weekend!”<br/>
“I wish I could say something better about my race, but it wasn't better than yours” says Lando. “I finished 15th. I think I haven't finished 15th in almost a year. I've heard this is the first time McLaren hasn't scored in many races, man. It was all my fault.”<br/>
“Oh, no, man. It wasn't your fault. I heard the team say it was a tough weekend for everyone. They were just disappointed that we didn't get any points, and that was it.” Carlos says to his mate. “And I'm sure you made a better impression than me. 100% sure.”<br/>
“Yes, but you couldn't demonstrate what your race could have been like. I finished it, and it was total crap!” Lando exclaims.<br/>
“Okay, but they didn't throw me out. I did a stupid manoeuvre and hit the barriers in full. And for this, I couldn't take home points. I made the worst performance today. All the magazines said so.”<br/>
“I'm not so sure, Carlos. It was probably better not to finish the race.”<br/>
“Oh, no, trust me. It was quite embarrassing to sit in the pits with engineers and mechanics after wrecking the car they had worked on for so many hours, including the night.” Carlos sighs.<br/>
“I think we should stop talking about the race and who's to blame. Let's change the subject!”</p><p>Then Lando remembers what George told him. He can't name his friend, so he talks about the overall situation.<br/>
“I'm concerned about the vacancy issue and the drivers who are still not sure of their seat next year.”<br/>
“Yeah, I feel it too. I'm so sad for Sergio. He's in shape lately. He has finished many races in the top 5 and is likely not to race next year. It's not fair” states Carlos.<br/>
“Yes, and Alex too” adds Lando.<br/>
“Oh, yeah. I always forget he doesn't have the contract for next year with RedBull yet. But I think they will renew it. How does he feel?”<br/>
“He is stressed out. He feels the pressure, and being unsure of the seat doesn't help.”<br/>
“It's all my fault” sighs Carlos. “Since I signed for Ferrari, they started the dance of the drivers between the teams. Me, Daniel, Fernando, Seb, and now Sergio has lost his seat. I don't know if I can bear it.”<br/>
“Oh, no, Carlos. It's not your fault. It's something the teams choose, not the drivers. If they don't want you, you're on foot. I'm just angry that our friends are suffering from these decisions. I don't know how to deal with it.”<br/>
The silence that follows Lando's words is heavy.</p><p>Then the Brit tells him what he said earlier to his friends.<br/>
“I told them they will have a seat and never talk about it again, but I'm not sure.” Lando looks at Carlos, trying to find his approval. “I'm a hypocrite: I gave them hope, but I don't really know. And I don't know how to handle this.”<br/>
“Lando, you are a good and loyal friend, and you shouldn't blame yourself for trying to help them. You're doing a good job.” Then Carlos adds: “I know you should always tell the truth, but sometimes it's better to lie.”</p><p>Lando visibly trembles, and he is almost in tears because of this dilemma.<br/>
Carlos strokes him on the shoulder and says: “Hey, Lando, please look at me. Everything will be fine. Got it?”<br/>
Lando stops sobbing and looks at the other man.<br/>
“And if it doesn't go well, now is not the time to worry about it. Now we don't know anything. We'll worry about it when the time comes” explains Carlos, before hugging the shorter man.<br/>
“Okay.”<br/>
Carlos takes a step back but still holds Lando by the arms. He looks him in the eye and says: “If you want to talk to me, even when I move to Ferrari, I'll be there for you. But now we are teammates, and I'm happy to spend the rest of the year with you on the team. You're special to me.”<br/>
Lando is obviously moved by Carlos's words and hugs him tightly for the moving speech.<br/>
“Thank you, Carlos. What you said was very nice. I'm happy to spend the rest of the year with you too” he says smiling, his head still on the other's shoulder.<br/>
In the arms of the Spaniard, Lando feels he loves Carlos too much. He hopes the other feels the same about him.</p>
<hr/><p>George takes off his shoes and coat and goes to the radiator. It's fucking cold outside. Then he reaches his bed and hides the head under the pillow. This week has been pathetic. He enjoyed the last: he was able to fly back to England and rest for a couple of days. He turned his mind off and enjoyed his free time with his family. He needed quiet days to recharge his positive energies. Arriving in Sochi, he was greeted by an icy wind. Wearing gloves and a wool cap for the first time this Fall, he admired the beauty of the Russian city and track. And to think he was so happy to be back racing again. The walk on the circuit gave him positive sparks and a great desire to race, leading him to reach Q2 on Saturday. Once again. He was excited to start 14th on the grid. Unfortunately, in the race, everything went wrong, and he finished last. Nicholas was only two cars ahead, but this doesn't comfort him.</p><p>He just wants to laugh and forget all this crap. Everyone tells him he is driving a car not good enough for his skills. But the rumours about Sergio in Williams have awakened the ghosts of losing the seat. Ghosts he never had with Claire and Frank. He wants them back, wants to laugh with them and do stupid things like he and Nick did in Italy when they had to cook two pizzas each for the team.</p><p>He crouches on the bed, covering himself with the sheets. He would not dislike eating something with Nutella. He could text Nick and ask him, but maybe the Canadian is packing his things to fly home, and it would disturb him. He can manage his sudden depression with others thing. He takes his cell phone and scrolls through the home pages. Candy crush? No, it's too lazy. Instagram? Oh no, it would be full of posts about the recent race. Reading? That would be an idea!</p><p>He hears a knock on the door.<br/>
“Who's there?”<br/>
“I'm Nick. Can I come in?”<br/>
“Yes, just a moment.”<br/>
George gets up and runs to the door, not caring about his messy hairs. He turns the key and opens to his teammate.<br/>
“Hi” he says. This is such a weird situation; he doesn't know how to behave.<br/>
“Hi” the other replies.<br/>
George is at the door in awkward silence.<br/>
Nick swallows: “I'm sorry to bother you...”<br/>
“Oh, no. I wasn't doing anything. I was just lying in bed thinking, you know, about things.”<br/>
“Ah, oh, well. Um… is it a problem if I come in?”<br/>
George blushes. He should have let Nick in a while ago. “Oh, sure. Sorry, I was enchanted. Come in” he replies, before taking a step sideways and gesturing to the other to enter.<br/>
Only now George notices a bag in Nick's hand.<br/>
“Yeah, I thought I'd bring something to munch on.”<br/>
“Oh, man. You read my mind. I was thinking about when we made pizzas for the team. You did a great job. Mine weren't so good.”<br/>
They both laugh, and George feels his heart lighten.<br/>
George admits: “I was thinking of calling you to ask if you wanted some Nutella.”<br/>
“No way! Did you listen to me? Here's the Nutella jar! I told you I always have one in my room” says Nick.<br/>
They sit on the bed and eat cookies with a spoonful of Nutella.<br/>
“Thanks, man. I needed this. I was thinking too much about this weekend” George thanks him.<br/>
“No problem, George. Do you want to talk about it? What were you thinking about?”<br/>
The Brit breaths out and tells him about the meeting with his friends.<br/>
“They don't understand. They don't laugh at me because I don't earn points, they always have my back, but...”<br/>
“They don't understand” Nick concludes the sentence.<br/>
George nods.<br/>
“Nobody can, I'm afraid” says the other. “Sometimes I talk to Lance. He's the only one I talk to regularly, besides you. He's Canadian too, and we chat about hockey teams or our relatives who live there. It's almost like being at home.”<br/>
“You miss them?”<br/>
“So fucking bad. I haven't been there for a while. You know, a transatlantic flight isn't that easy, due to the races, the coronavirus and jet lag. The game is not worth the candle.”<br/>
George takes Nick's hands in his and squeezes them.<br/>
The Canadian looks him in the eye and thanks him. Then he adds: “But that wasn't what I wanted to tell you. When I talk to Lance, he can imagine how this could be like. But he can't experience it. Only you can, George. Pushing every single lap, every single race, and not being able to reach a higher position. I think I'm the only driver who has never entered Q2 on Saturday.”<br/>
George gasps: he had never thought about it. “I'm sorry, Nick. You're right: others can only imagine it, but it's not the same, it's not enough. I'm glad I can talk with you about this.”<br/>
“Me too.”</p><p>Nicholas stands up and walks to his bag. “Would you like to see a film? I hired one last week, I didn't know which one to choose.”<br/>
He passes a DVD to his teammate. <em>From Russia with love.</em> George smiles at the title. Nick explains: “It was the first to come to mind when thinking about Russia. Also, you are English: you must love Mr Bond. I thought it was the right choice, right?”<br/>
“The second Bond film? It couldn't be more accurate. You're smart, mate. I think I never told you” says George.<br/>
They put the DVD on the television and then George orders Nick to sit on his bed with him. “We have a king-size bed, I don't see why you should sit in the armchair!” he protests until the Canadian lies down on the other side of the bed.</p><p>At 8 o'clock a ringtone warns them it's late. The two stop the film and run downstairs to have dinner with their team. After some wine and a tasty meal, they return to George's room to finish watching James Bond's mission. This time Nick protests and gets to sit in the armchair. After the final score, George gets up to turn off the TV and put the DVD back. He thanks Nick for the excellent choice, but hears no answers. The young man turns and sees his teammate sleeping in the chair. He smiles and blushes: the Canadian is even cuter while he's sleeping.<br/>
George ponders whether to wake him up, but thinks the other needs some sleep, so he takes a woollen blanket from the closet and covers his beloved. He turns off the lights and goes to bed. Then looks at the man once more and smiles. Now he's screwed: he's totally in love with him.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I really enjoyed writing George and Nick watching James Bond :)<br/>Despite this, I can't decide which pair I like best: they are all so cute!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Strong enough</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>2020 Eifel Grand Prix | Nürburg</p><p>The four boys struggle with their emotions and have a difficult day. Lando wants to cuddle with Carlos, but he can't. Charles argues with Pierre and they insult each other. George reflects on his fear of telling Nick that he loves him. Alex is a little jealous and decides it's time for a change.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The chapter title refers to the song "Strong enough" by Sheryl Crow. The quotes at the beginning of the four parts are the lyrics of the song.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>God I feel like hell tonight<br/>
the tears of rage I cannot lie<br/>
I'd be the last to help you understand<br/>
are you strong enough to be my man</em>
</p><p>Lando sees in his head the image of Carlos overcoming him. He didn't have enough power in the car to keep fighting for position. He saw his great performance slip through his fingers, and there was nothing the Brit could do to avoid it. He fought for God knows how many laps in those conditions, before the car decided it was time to stop. Luckily he managed to get off the track, near the barriers. In this way, the track staff was able to move it out in a few minutes. Then he sat there, in a white chair, trying not to get angry about something that unfortunately happens. Trying not to cry.</p><p>When he entered the pits, his mechanics patted him on the shoulder and someone hugged him to comfort him. He was barely able to follow the end of the race as there were only a couple of laps left. Now he goes to the interview area, like his colleagues who finished the race. The reporter is very kind and feels sorry for him. Despite that, he still asks Lando what it was like to end the race this way and what he was thinking while sitting in that chair.<br/>
“You know, it's never easy for a driver to be told he has to retire, or be shown - like in my case. For me, it was really frustrating because I was in a great position and then I had that problem at the power unit. I fought as long as I could, but in the end, the car stopped, and I was forced to retire.”<br/>
“We saw smoke coming out of the back of your car. Do you know what caused it?”<br/>
“We haven't seen the car yet. I was out there while the team was focused on the final laps and the safety car. We think there is a hydraulic component involved, probably the engine, but we aren't sure yet” replies Lando. Talking about technical things helps him not to think about missed points and not to burst into tears.<br/>
The reporter returns to his first question: “You know, the image of you sitting in that chair, watching the track, was daunting. What went through your head in those moments?”<br/>
“Oh, Jim” Lando replies, reading the other's name on his badge “I think that's not something I can repeat in an interview. Let's just say I was raging at the time. I was coming from some frustrating laps and was struggling a lot to keep going, so I wasn't happy to retire after all that work.”<br/>
“Thanks, Lando. Good luck in the next race!”<br/>
“Thanks, Jim” the driver greets the man, before heading to the pits.</p><p>A few minutes later, he meets Carlos in the hallway.<br/>
“Hey, Lando, I'm sorry, mate. How are you?”<br/>
Lando wants to cry there in front of him, so the other can hug him tightly and tell him not to worry. But there are still too many people around: he doesn't want to be seen as a child crying for not getting his gift.<br/>
“Thank you, Carlos. I'm not feeling very well now. It was pretty depressing. I was in a good position, and a few moments later, I was driving in those impossible conditions, and immediately afterwards, I had to retire. Not a happy race to frame.”<br/>
“Hey, listen, mate. I didn't want to overtake you, I-”<br/>
“No need to worry. I would have done the same if I had been you” Lando says.<br/>
Carlos smiles shyly, then follows Lando into the meeting room, where three analysts are already plotting some data on the big screen. The drivers sit at the table and Lando curls up on a sofa, covering himself with a blanket. The time for T-shirts is over, he thinks.</p><p>After an hour and a half of discussing strategy, pit-stops and lap times, they discover that Lando could have finished 5th, just ahead of his teammate. But this is the kind of bad luck that happens during a race and this time Lando wasn't lucky. An engineer gives him a pat on the back as he exits. Lando wants a shoulder to cry on: he thinks he can't hold back the tears anymore. He follows Carlos out, but Zak Brown calls him back to the table.<br/>
The man explains to the young driver some technical innovations they want to try on his car, before applying them to Carlos too. Lando's sad face receives a small smile as he hears the news, but it is not enough to cheer him up. He greets his boss and leaves the room. </p><p>Lando looks around the garage, but can't find Carlos. He sees Mary from the medical team walking in front of him and asks her where Carlos is. She replies that he left a few minutes earlier, saying he would be back at their hotel in about an hour. The Brit thanks the girl and reaches the car that will take him to the hotel. He enters the room and closes the door with a kick, screaming. He sits on the ground, his back against the door. “I missed the opportunity to prove how much I've improved this year” he sighs. “And Carlos missed the opportunity to show me his love. It all went fucking wrong!”<br/>
He stays there for a minute, silent tears running down his cheeks. Then he starts crying, thinking about what he lost in just an hour. He thought he had given Carlos enough signals to let him know he's madly in love with the Spaniard. Maybe the man saw them, but he doesn't care. And that's why he went out without even wondering if Lando needed help.</p>
<hr/><p>
  <em>Nothing's true and nothing's right<br/>
so let me be alone tonight<br/>
cause you can't change the way I am<br/>
are you strong enough to be my man</em>
</p><p>“Dude, that was so weird. Racing in only two days seems so unnatural.”<br/>
“Yeah, especially since we couldn't do anything else on Friday. We were stuck in our garage, waiting for news.”<br/>
Charles remembers the boredom they had two days ago when all the drivers were waiting in the warmth of their garage. They continually looked out the windows to see if a ray of sun broke the grey sky. It rained all morning. After two hours, the judges told them that the first free practice had been suspended. Charles ran out of ideas on what to do. He and Seb played chess to keep their focus, but then they got bored and started talking or walking around the pits to see the raindrops forming puddles near the garage. The younger then decided to write to his French mate. That was their only contact all week, unlike what they had wished last time.</p><p>In the afternoon they were trapped in the pits again, the rain didn't stop falling. Charles decided not to write to his friend once more: it seemed to him that Pierre didn't want to answer. Maybe he was already in the race mood and didn't want to rest his brain. He accepted it and went back to look outside. The droplets of rain formed vertical traces on the glass, and it looked like that the window was weeping sadly.</p><p>“And nothing changed in the afternoon, huh?” asks the Monegasque, watching at Pierre from his chair.<br/>
The Frenchman looks at him, a tired smile forms on his face. Now they are in his room, talking about the race and spending time together for the first time this week. “Yes, it was so stressful! We were ready, but there was nothing we could do to relax, or we could have invalidated the preparation.”<br/>
Charles nods, but there is more going through his head. Pierre and Daniil seem quite enemies on the track, while - from what he has seen - they are practically friends. If he is so secretive about his relationships, maybe Pierre doesn't like Charles very much, but he's too polite to tell. After all, it is always the younger the one who texts him, not the other way around.<br/>
“I was just hoping we could spend more time together. It seems that this 2020 is preventing us from having contact with our friends and loved ones.”<br/>
“Yes, this year is just so strange. But it also had its beauties” replies Pierre.<br/>
“Of course. Your first win! It was one of the best times of the year, man!”<br/>
They both look around the room. Charles doesn't want to make eye contact with his friend: he has too many thoughts in his head and doesn't want to show them. Furthermore, he is afraid of seeing rejection in Pierre's eyes.</p><p>He suddenly remembers the moment Pierre overtook him during the race.<br/>
“I enjoyed duelling with you today. It reminded me of when we did it in the youth competitions.”<br/>
“Yes, the only difference is that we were competing for the win at the time, and today we did it for the sixth place” laughs Pierre.<br/>
“Yeah, I think we should take what comes, huh? By the way, sometimes we could talk about those happy times, especially now with the pandemic.”<br/>
“Sure, but we shouldn't be stuck in the past. We have to think about the present and the future.”<br/>
“Well, then we should have a lot of time to talk” says Charles.<br/>
“Yeah, that's right. Is it a problem for you?”<br/>
“What? No, obviously not a problem. But finding time for each other isn't what we're best at...” states Charles.<br/>
“You don't have enough time for me, huh? I bet it's because you drive a Ferrari now” says Pierre, haughtily underlining the team name.<br/>
“Hey, what do you mean? It's not true! I have a lot of free time to spend with you too. Ask others! If you haven’t noticed, there isn't a pleasant atmosphere between the team. I stay with them just to focus on the race, which is from Thursday to Sunday afternoon. But you never asked, did you?”<br/>
“Oh, you're just arrogant. Always thinking that everyone should love you and be there for you. Just because people called you a prodigy last year! Maybe you should be revered by all of us?”<br/>
Pierre's words come out like poison and deeply hurt Charles. But the Frenchman is not done yet. “You know? This is the fucking problem with going to a big team: you think you're a god of Formula One. Well, then go with your fellow men. There are many on the grid.”<br/>
“But if I'm always the one who writes to you! So, now if you don't look for me is my fault?”<br/>
“See? You're arrogant even after what I told you!”<br/>
“I’m sorry, man, but you can't change me just because you don’t like this side of me. And I'm not fucking arrogant!”<br/>
Pierre turns his back to him.<br/>
Charles snorts: “Maybe it's better if I go somewhere else and stay alone for a while. I would never want someone to be blinded by my aura and decide to serve me just because we are in the same room.”<br/>
He turns and leaves the room slamming the door.<br/>
A few meters from the door he runs into Daniil.<br/>
“Hey, Charles. Glad to see you!” greets the Russian, smiling unaware.<br/>
The Monegasque looks at him. His wounded gaze already says it all. He mutters a shivering but cold “Hi” before leaving the AlphaTauri driver alone, in the middle of the hall.</p>
<hr/><p>
  <em>I have a face I cannot show<br/>
I make the rules up as I go<br/>
just try and love me if you can<br/>
are you strong enough to be my man</em>
</p><p>George is sitting in his room with a cup of coffee in his hand. He sips the hot drink and turns up his nose: Nick prepares a much better coffee! This reminds him of Friday. He thinks he has never been so bored during a race week: they spent the day popping out the garage door to see if it had stopped raining. He also did a photoshoot of their rubbing duck in a puddle. He must admit he dribbled with that duck too, poor animal!</p><p>Then, Nicholas made coffee and tea for everyone. He's good at making coffees: this can undoubtedly become his post-career plan B! George, on the other hand, doesn't even know if he'll keep the seat next year. But he can't show it: he has to keep the façade he has built for a long time. He has been wearing a mask for so many years in public, hiding his real face, that he sometimes finds it difficult to take it off. All the time George shows himself as the good guy, the one who never gets angry, always kind and optimistic. Instead, he has a fucking fear of losing his seat without even having entered the adult world. And he is also afraid to tell Nick that he fell in love with him.</p><p>He always copies what others do with him, to keep up appearances. This year, moreover, having Nicholas on his team, he can't let himself go for a second. He's always around him, and this thrills him but also tires him because he must always be on alert to avoid letting his feelings out for him. And pretending all the time is so stressful: how can Lando handle all of this? And it's the second consecutive year that he has Carlos as a teammate!</p><p>This weekend for him was a real test of strength: it was strenuous to be in the same room with the Canadian without rethinking the evening they had spent together watching the film.<br/>
Then he recalls what happened on Friday afternoon in the drivers' room.</p><p>
  <em>“We won't drive this afternoon either, huh?” Nick asks, looking down at the Brit, who is lying on the sofa with his eyes closed.<br/>
“I'm afraid not” he murmurs.<br/>
“Hey, George, look. There are still all the fans out there!”<br/>
“Are you joking?” asks the younger, suddenly opening his eyes. He gets up, joining the other man at the window. Looking out, he can see people in the stands, huddling in their colourful raincoats and umbrellas.<br/>
“Oh, God. Are they crazy? It's fucking cold outside, plus it's been raining since early this morning!”<br/>
“I think they love us” replies Nick, looking at George.<br/>
They find themselves a few centimetres from each other, their noses almost touching.<br/>
George swallows and goes back to the sofa, hiding his flushed cheeks.<br/>
“I wouldn't stay there in the cold for nothing. I understand if we were driving, but not in this case.”<br/>
“Do I have to assume that you don't like the cold?”<br/>
“Oh, no, definitely. It looks like it's Winter out there. I prefer the Summer and being outside” replies George.<br/>
“Hey, wait. This isn't Winter, man. It's barely Autumn.”<br/>
“Sure, but it's still cold.”<br/>
The other laughs a little. “It's nothing compared to the Canadian Winter, believe me.”<br/>
“Are you joking?”<br/>
The man denies with his head.<br/>
“I'll never go to Canada in the Winter, then” George deduces.<br/>
“Oh, no! You should go in the cold season instead: it's so much fun!” replies Nick. “We skate on frozen lakes, make snowmen and take long walks in the woods. Everything is covered in white, and you can enjoy the silence. And then we drink maple syrup. Have you ever tried it?”<br/>
“No, I haven't. Yet.”<br/>
“Good boy!” Nick smiles.<br/>
“There is actually something I like about Winter” George rephrases.<br/>
“Tell me!”<br/>
“I like sitting by the fireplace with a warm blanket, a cup of hot tea or coffee, and a Christmas film on TV - or even a live on twitch with the rookie gang.”<br/>
Nick bursts out laughing.<br/>
George melts to the sound.</em>
</p><p>George blushes again in his room, recalling the scene. He knows he should try to throw the hook to see if Nick would catch it, but he's too scared.<br/>
What if he does something wrong and his teammate realizes he's in love with him? What if he refuses him? And what if, after knowing this, Nicholas doesn't even accept him as his friend?<br/>
The main problem is that the other is probably straight. George still remembers the man's lost gaze on that waitress in Barcelona. He wouldn't know what to do if something like this happened. He hides his head under the pillow and hopes to disappear from the face of the earth.</p><p>What would his friends tell him? They would probably say that he has to fight for his love, even if he doesn't see the benefits; that Nick is an exquisite person and he should give him more credit. They'd also say he gets stuck too easy because of his paranoia. He laughs. Where would he be without them?</p>
<hr/><p>
  <em>When I show you that I just don't care<br/>
when I'm throwing punches in the air<br/>
when I'm broken down and I can't stand<br/>
would you be man enough to be my man</em>
</p><p>Daniel opens the bottle of champagne and drinks proudly. Then he sprays it on his colleagues starting the alcohol battle. Lewis takes a step forward to empty the bottle on his team, cheering under the podium. Max and Daniel, meanwhile, have started the toughest battle ever with two bottles. After running out of wine, the three men, all covered in white, jump down the steps and reach the exit.</p><p>Alex is under the podium with the team and is watching them. Daniel looks so happy, obviously, but the Thai had never seen him so happy with someone. And Max is congratulating him too. Then they start showering each other with Champagne, and the young man thinks he doesn't want to look anymore. They are so fucking cute together! He still remembers that they both told him they didn't like each other. Bullshits!<br/>
He hadn't realized it even when he first heard it: he likes all the drivers, and can't understand how anyone can hate each other off the track. He even likes Checo, although he could take his place next year. He really hopes that the Mexican can find a seat because he deserves it.</p><p>This is probably one of his problems, and that's what Max was trying to tell him in Spain: he must see the other drivers as rivals. But Alex can't do it: he likes them all. Maybe he was built wrong, without the ability to hate. Okay, this is too melodramatic even for him. He looks back at the podium and sees the three drivers all covered in champagne.</p><p>He sighs, growing with envy. He knew that he wouldn't finish up there again today, but he would at least have liked to finish the race, maybe even taking points. He would have more time to congratulate Daniel, instead of just a second. The only luck of the retirement is that he had already been interviewed and the reporters couldn't blame him, which is a pure success for him. He follows the team in the pits: in a few moments, they will have the data analysis. It will be more relaxing than usual as they can't show him his mistakes, but it will still be depressing to see where he could have gone without the problem with his power unit.</p><p>When he arrives in his bedroom, he's still confused about how he feels. He is undoubtedly sad, because of the retirement, and above all for not having talked enough with Daniel. He lies down on the bed and breathes, closing his eyes. He feels the anxiety shattering his guts: in a few hours, he will have to participate in a small party in the paddock for Max's 2nd place. This involves getting a lot of worried looks and hearing people muttering behind him. He always feels bare after a race: every time it seems that the managers, the engineers and everyone else are wondering if he will stay with them next year or not.</p><p>He gets angry: he shouldn't have to prove at every race whether or not he deserves his seat. He knows he's not on Max's level, but come on, who is? Everyone is struggling on the grid, except his teammate and the Mercedes boys. He isn't the only one with problems. But unfortunately, he is in the second team in the standings, and almost all the points came from Max.</p><p>This DNF is another stumbling block for his future. Sure, it wasn't his or the team's fault, but it still hurts him. He thought Daniel could help him deal with his sadness, but it would be selfish of him: the Australian today has to celebrate and not worry about him. After what he has seen, however, Alex is not sure that the other looks at him the same way. Daniel probably behaved with him as the man does with all the other drivers in the paddock. This isn't something Alex cares too much about: he's not that jealous, but this probably means that for the man, he is one of many.</p><p>He goes to his closet and takes some clean clothes. Then he undresses and enters the shower. He opens the hot water and lets it pour all over his body. He gets pampered by the warm flow as he tries to silence his brain. It is ironic, he thinks, that he fell in love with Daniel because he is always witty and cheerful with everyone, including him. Now, however, this aspect prevents him from understanding if he can hope that the Aussie feels something for him too, or if he's just flirtatious as he is with all the other drivers.</p><p>Alex sits down, dejected. He built a giant castle on nothing, just because he hoped the man would feel something for him. Going out for a drink was a fucking mistake. Why did he ignore his brain and let his heart decide? And having Daniel's number doesn't help him either. He will always be left with the question of whether to text him or not, probably wanting something that his colleague can't give him. He throws a punch on the glass door of the shower, while his tears mingle with the water that is still falling.</p><p>A few minutes later, he is lying on the bed, trying to find some comfort in the blanket and in the cup of hot tea he has brought to his room. He feels a little relieved and turns off his mobile. If the team wants him as a second Max Verstappen, he will be. It's time for him to follow his teammate's advice: all the other drivers are only rivals, including the Dutchman. It's time for him to focus only on himself.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>lie to me, I promise I believe<br/>
lie to me, but please don't leave</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Don't hate me, I know I'm making them suffer now, but there will be better times :)<br/>Maybe closer than you think...</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. On my own</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>2020 Portuguese Grand Prix | Portimão</p><p>Lewis wins 92 races in Formula One: this is the new record. However, much more happens during interviews. Alex is in a bad mood until he gets a call. George is interested in Kevin and Romain, currently without a seat. Lando is furious and takes it out on everyone. Charles sees Pierre again. And at the end, a surprise :)</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Several other pilots appear in this chapter. it was time to broaden horizons hehehe. Luckily Charles and Pierre have someone to help them in secret, otherwise who knows where they end up.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Portimão press officer had set up a small stage as an interview area, with four chairs spaced apart. Alex is sitting between Max and Esteban, and Daniel is next to the other Renault driver. The Frenchman is congratulating Lewis on his record, as John, the journalist, asked him for a comment. He has a lovely French accent, more fluent and less rounded than Charles's. Sometimes he joins two or three words together and says them incredibly fast, even for an English listener. Alex can see Daniel's profile behind him. His curls come out of his cap, the eye - the only one that he can see - smiles happily.<br/>
Alex, then, looks at the grandstand behind John, where some fans are still taking photos. Probably none of them is photographing him: who would want a picture of him?</p><p>After the interviewer is done with the young man, he lets them go. Alex follows the Renault drivers down the stairs and onto the pit lane. There George and Nick are waiting their turn. The Brit approaches him.<br/>
“Hey Alex, how are you, mate?”<br/>
“I don't know, George. I think I messed everything up once again” he replies, before hugging his friend and starting to sob. George rubs his back and comforts him. He whispers in his ear: “You can't ruin anything: you are one of the kindest persons I've ever met. I have to go now, but we can talk later if you want, okay? Don't be ashamed to cry: tears always take our problems away with them. Got it?”<br/>
“Thank you, George” replies the Thai, breaking the silence. He wipes his face and greets his friend.</p><p>A few hours later, Alex is in his room reflecting on the last few weeks: he had cut all ties with his friends, except for a video call with the gang, where he pretended everything was fine. He spent the days off training and watching his latest races, as he couldn't practice on the new Portimão track. The Thai tried to be a second Max Verstappen because he's sure RedBull wanted that from him. Well, he realized that he isn't like Max and he couldn't drive like him, in a car prepared for him. It has been seen today: he changed everything about him to be where they want him to be, but it was worth nothing. He arrived 12th anyway. He could have finished in P12 even driving, and training, and being, like his usual self. Now it all seems so fucking wrong: he doesn't have to change to stay in F1, he needs to fight for his place like Alex Albon, the first Thai driver to finish on the podium, and not like his teammate's bad copy. Last week Chris Horner said they want to keep Alex next year, or they will find someone from the outside. He slammed the door in front of Pierre and Daniil but left the main entrance open for Checo. And the Mexican finished 7th today. Once again in points. Alex needs to earn points in Imola, or he will be kicked out without much trouble. He sighs, wondering if he deserves all this stress; if he fits the role that he's playing.</p><p>He begins to hum:<br/>
<em>“Sometimes I wonder where I’ve been,<br/>
who I am, do I fit in?</em><br/>
<em>Make believing is hard alone,<br/>
out here on my own.</em><br/>
<em>We're always proving who we are,<br/>
always reaching for that rising star</em><br/>
<em>to guide me far, and shine me home,<br/>
out here on my own.”</em></p><p>He sighs again: the song fits so well into his current situation. He must try to relieve the stress accumulated in these weeks. He thinks of Daniel and of the warm feeling the other gives him just by talking to him. The Australian is like sunshine to him, and he definitely has a sunny smile. Alex continues the song:<br/>
<em>“Until the morning sun appears,<br/>
making light above my fears.</em><br/>
<em>I dry the tears I’ve never shown<br/>
out here on my own.</em><br/>
<em>When I’m down and feeling blue,<br/>
I close my eyes so I can be with you.</em><br/>
<em>Oh, baby, be strong for me, baby, belong to me.<br/>
Help me through, help me need you.”</em></p><p>Alex knows Daniel is his anchor, but he's not sure if the Aussie wants to take that burden on himself. Instead, the Thai knows someone who will never say no to him, and George already showed it to him a few hours ago. Now he knows he wants to reconnect with his friends and explain to them all the things he's experiencing. He needs them. From now on, he must stop letting the discomfort steal his relaxation and completely upset him.<br/>
<em>“I may not win, but I can be strong,<br/>
out here on my own.”</em></p><p>As soon as he finishes singing, he hears his cell phone ring. It's Daniel.<br/>
“Hey, Daniel, nice to hear from you. What's up?”<br/>
“Hey, Alex, hum... I wanted to know how you are. I saw you with George after the interview. Is everything alright? I… I'm sorry if I'm bothering you. If you don't want to tell me about it, that's fine. I just wanted to know if I could help.”<br/>
Alex's heart immediately feels lighter after hearing Daniel's concern. He's apologizing for being so pushy. If only he knew how much Alex would like the other to be.<br/>
“Oh, that's so sweet of you, Daniel. Don't worry, it's good to hear you're concerned about me” Alex replies and starts explaining the shit he's been experiencing for the past weeks.</p>
<hr/><p>George lets Alex go and follows Nick to the interview stage. He had seen the Haas drivers pass by when he was talking to Alex. He sits in the chair next to Romain, leaving the last one left to Nick. It sounds like a joke: they are being interviewed about Lewis's 92nd win when the four haven't even collected ten points together this year. He and Nick share the thrilling goal of zero points in the championship. The Haas drivers at least have some and have ended up on the podium a few times in recent years. And now they are all there, feeling unlucky and at the bottom of their careers. The two older men have just been left on foot by the American team, while George still has some doubts about his permanence in Williams, given Sergio's recent good performances.</p><p>In their interviews, both Kevin and Romain talk unabated - it seems to George - and they are probably taking a few pebbles off their shoes. George admires them for this: he's sure he wouldn't be able to do the same if they left him on foot a couple of days before driving for the first time in Portimão. It just seems like a bad joke.</p><p>George smiles and acts kindly, as usual. But this time he has to talk about a living legend like Lewis Hamilton, who has won 92 races, while the young man dreams of finishing at least 10th in a race once a year. After faking their enthusiasm for too long today, the four finally reach their hotel.</p><p>George lowers himself on the sofa, exhausted. He takes a deep breath and thinks that another race is gone and their only success was the improvement of the car from the last time. But this is not enough.<br/>
Nick sits in the chair, phone in hand. He's probably scrolling down the Instagram page. George rests his head on the pillow and looks up at the ceiling as the feeling of anxiety builds. That doesn't help him secure his seat at Williams. He breaths, trying to control himself, but he knows he needs someone to talk to, or his head will explode.</p><p>Therefore, he tells Nick about his fears, now slightly debunked after the Haas news.<br/>
“But then why me and not you? You drive better than me!” Nick replies but then realizes. “Oh, so this whole thing is because I'm paying for the seat, right?” the Canadian gestures between them, his face turning sad.<br/>
George sighs: he's made another disaster.<br/>
However, Nick quickly recovers and tells him that he's wrong and that he'll stay.<br/>
George thinks of the Haas drivers, who have no doubt but the cruel reality slammed before their eyes. How are they feeling now? They are older than him and have been role models for him, especially Romain, who is older than the Dane. They've earned their podiums and small wins in their careers, and they still manage to score points here and there, unlike him. They should have been able to drive another year, but he knows it's not a choice he can make.</p><p>“I want to call them later now that the race is over” says George. “Maybe I could go and see them. They don't deserve this treatment.”<br/>
Nick agrees, but George isn't so sure.<br/>
“Hey, but honestly, how are they going to read it? Maybe they'll get angrier or sadder, and I don't want that” George asks his mate worriedly.<br/>
“Oh, come on. How many others do you think have raised the issue? Or are worried about how they are? If it makes you feel better, I can go with you” suggests Nick.<br/>
George is happy to hear this, and thanks him. Then he dials the number on his phone, slightly embarrassed.<br/>
“Hey, Romain? I'm George.”</p>
<hr/><p>Lando is furious at the end of the race because of the accident. He is angry with Lance and annoyed by Hamilton, as, according to him, he has had the best car in the last seven years and it is obvious he has won 92 times. He crosses his legs as he waits his turn to speak. John, the interviewer, asked Antonio and Kimi about Lewis and their race.<br/>
Lando is tired of hearing all these happy things about today: it was a stressful race, which started with an obnoxious crash. The rest was a tough fight to gain positions. It's easy to win by starting from the front and without problems. Valtteri also had some issues this year, while Lewis always manages to finish the race.<br/>
“Lando” calls the interviewer. “The same question as your colleagues: what's it like to drive against a record man like Lewis?”<br/>
“It's really striking. Each race we start with the conviction of competing for 3rd place, given the unrivalled performance of Mercedes. Maybe it's not that hard to win with the best car out there.”<br/>
“Bwoah!” Kimi exclaims, impressed.<br/>
“What about your race? We heard you were very disappointed.”<br/>
“Yes, well, I was doing my job, I gave enough space on the outside of the corner, but probably someone didn't do theirs and got too close, so unfortunately we collided. I had to pit early, and then the race became more and more difficult. I was hoping to get into points, but we didn't, and here I am.”<br/>
“Okay, thanks, Lando. Carlos, same question...”</p><p>Lando stops listening to the man, his eyes wandering on the stands in front of him. However, he is not looking at them: he is reviewing the sequence of the incident with Lance in his mind. When he focuses his view again, the interviewer is thanking Carlos.<br/>
He's happy to hear they can leave the area and almost runs into Daniil in the paddock. Then he enters the drivers' room, immediately followed by Carlos.<br/>
“Hey, Lando, what was that?” the Spaniard asks, closing the door. He is looking at him, with open arms and a furrowed brow. “I've never seen you like this! What's wrong, man?”<br/>
Lando rolls his eyes. In truth, he is also a bit angry with the Spaniard, because last time he wasn't there for him. The Brit doesn't want to answer, but Carlos finally gets him to talk. Lando is embittered because it's the third consecutive race that he's missing points. The last time he made it into the top 10 was six weeks ago. And this time it wasn't his fault, nor was the latest race. He begins to feel the pressure and doesn't understand why his friends don't have a seat for next year, while he does, despite he's being crap and he doesn't know how to stop this feeling. He is too young and doesn't know how to behave in several situations: he isn't sure if it's okay being himself or if maybe he should become more sober and keen on the goal. At this moment, Carlos places a hand on Lando's mouth, and he protests: “Stop Lando, you're talking too much.”<br/>
He lets the other quiet down, before leaving him free. “Lando, you're overthinking. Stop thinking about all these bullshits on you or, I swear, I'm gonna give you a punch in your pretty face. Got it?”<br/>
“Yes” says Lando briefly, happy to hear the other say that he has a pretty face.<br/>
“You have to relax, man. Now, let's finish our job and then I have a surprise for you.”</p>
<hr/><p>Daniil is on his way to the interviews when he runs into a visibly upset Lando. Carlos is running after the young Brit, his face reflecting his own surprise.<br/>
When the Russian arrives on the stage, he sees Seb and Charles sitting in two chairs prepared for the drivers. There are two more, waiting for the AlphaTauri mates. He is about to sit next to the Monegasque when he thinks it would be better if he leaves that seat for Pierre. He talked to his teammate after the German race, but the other didn't tell him what happened between the two. Nothing good, he's sure, as Charles and Pierre have been avoiding each other since they arrived in Portugal. When the Frenchman joins them, Daniil is pleased to notice the gaze of both of them. He's not sure if this will work, but they should fix it.</p><p>Charles sees Pierre sitting next to him and feels a shiver down his spine. It is from their quarrel that they aren't so close. While Seb is answering the question about Lewis's record, the Monegasque reflects on the discussion with his friend. He has been thinking about it a lot during the past two weeks, and he felt sorry. He noted that perhaps he tends to focus on his own goals more than those of others. He thought about giving the other time to apologise to him after calling him arrogant. But then he saw a photo of the Frenchman on Instagram and realised he missed him.</p><p>Charles returns to the present realising that Pierre is speaking now. He talks about Lewis and his career, comparing his maiden and only win to the 92 of the Brit.<br/>
“What about your race? You reached a fantastic 5th position” asks John.<br/>
“Yes, thank you. I liked the track a lot, we chose a winning strategy. The mechanics were also fantastic. In the end, I managed to overtake Checo and then I saw Charles, but he was too far from me to be able to fight.”<br/>
The respondent blushes slightly on hearing his name. Then the interviewer turns to him.<br/>
“Charles, it's your turn.”<br/>
He answers the question about Lewis, saying he is a legend and that racing against him is an honour. For him, having Seb as a teammate is also a great honour.<br/>
“Tell me about the race now. This 4th place is your highest score in weeks, right? Did the car go better here?”<br/>
“Yes, it's been a long time” answers Charles. “The weekend went well, and I felt good in the car. Today I started horribly and had to overtake to make up for it. After the pit stop, I was 4th on the hard tires, and we decided to preserve them. We knew I didn't have Max's pace, so we focused on securing the 4th place. In the end, I saw Pierre and Carlos getting closer, but luckily I managed to stay ahead of them.”<br/>
He pauses, looking at his friend out of the corner of his eye. Pierre is looking ahead of him, but Charles sees a blink of the man's eye.<br/>
“In conclusion, I am thrilled to have finished in the top 5, especially since the other four are the only ones to have won a GP this year.”</p><p>The interviewer sends them away, and the four go down the steps to the pit lane. Charles looks up and finds Pierre's green eyes watching him. The two drivers remain there in silence for a few seconds, embarrassed. Then they say goodbye and walk separately to their garages.<br/>
Daniil stops Seb.<br/>
“We should do something for them: they have been going on like this for two weeks.”<br/>
“I felt there was something wrong with him” Seb replies. “He didn't say anything to me, though, he's too proud. I see if I can do something.”<br/>
“Thanks for the help, Seb. I'm not sure if they deserve it from us. I feel like you're struggling with the team, but I can't bear to see them like that” concludes the Russian.<br/>
“You are a good person, Daniil. If you want to talk sometime, write to me. After Charles and Carlos, I'm getting used to it” replies the older man.<br/>
“Thanks, I'll do it.”</p>
<hr/><p>After dinner with the team, Carlos accompanies Lando to his room and tells him to take his things for the night.<br/>
“Wait, but what are we going to do?” the young man protests.<br/>
“Surprise!” the other says, smiling. “I won't tell you anything.”<br/>
“Ugh! You're so mean!”<br/>
Carlos holds his mate's shoulders and looks him in the eye. “Do you trust me?”<br/>
Lando sighs, the sentence reminds him of Jack and Rose. Plus, he's sinking into Carlos's brown eyes. He would fall in with the Titanic too if that were possible.<br/>
He blinks, returning to reality. Carlos was an asshole at times, but he never gave the Brit a reason not to rely on him. “I trust you” he finally replies, keeping his gaze.<br/>
“Perfect. Get ready and grab a coat: we're going outside. I'll be waiting outside your room in a minute.”</p><p>Lando walks into the bathroom and takes his things. He looks in the mirror. How can Carlos do this to him? When he was standing in his arms, his eyes fixed on those of the other, he felt that nothing could harm him: not getting points, the anxiety to prove himself, all of the problems living in his head, nothing. He felt safe and perhaps even a little flirtatious. If only Carlos felt the same for him, he sighs.<br/>
He washes his face and returns to the room. He chooses a light coat: fortunately, it is much warmer in Portimão than in Nürburbring. He goes through the door and finds his mate already there, waiting for him. He remembers Alex calling him his Prince Charming. Lando tries to hide the blush and follows Carlos down the stairs.</p><p>The Spaniard guides him through the streets of the small city, looking at the colourful houses and monuments near parks and taller buildings. They stop near a park, where there is a small ancient tower. They climb to the top and find a hole in the southern wall. They reach it and stand side by side, looking at the sea, which is visible from there. The moon reflects off it, creating white stripes on the moving surface of the water.</p><p>Lando turns to his right, where Carlos is and sees that the man is also looking at him. He feels his cheeks flush, but he doesn't look away. It's too perfect, now he just has to get close to his mate and kiss-<br/>
“So? Do you like it?” Carlos asks, ruining the moment.<br/>
“Yes, everything is so beautiful from here.” <em>You too,</em> he thinks but doesn't dare to say it.<br/>
“I thought you needed a break from this stressful time. I hope this helped you. I can't stand seeing you like that, Lando. I much prefer it when you laugh and light up wherever you are.”<br/>
Lando runs to Carlos and hugs him. He whispers in his ear: “Thank you” and tightens the hug.<br/>
Carlos hugs him too, and they stay there for a while.</p><p>A few minutes later, they are walking back to their hotel.<br/>
Lando wonders the reason for his backpack and asks the other man: “Wait, but why did you make me carry my things?”<br/>
“The surprise isn't over yet!”<br/>
“And I bet you won't tell me that either.”<br/>
“You know, this is the meaning of the word surprise” replies Carlos with a wink.<br/>
They walk a few more minutes and finally stop in front of a hotel. Lando sees it's not theirs. Then suddenly he sees three people sitting at a table in the front garden.<br/>
“But, George? What are you-? Charles?” Lando starts asking questions as he recognises the seated men. “Alex? What are you doing here?”<br/>
“Well, the real question is, what are <em>you</em> doing here?” George replies. “Since this is the hotel where I sleep.”<br/>
“Hi Carlos!” says Charles, greeting the man.<br/>
“And you knew it!” Lando turns to the Spaniard, shocked.<br/>
“Actually, he organised this” explains Alex.<br/>
“Yes, he called me this afternoon” reveals Charles. “He asked me if we could have a sleepover tonight. I found it a perfect idea and invited these two.”<br/>
“So, did you organise everything?”<br/>
“Yes, I did” Carlos replies, looking away from Lando's eyes. “It's the same thing I told you earlier: you need to relax and stop thinking about all the problems going on in your head.”<br/>
Lando's eyes reflect the light from the streetlamps. He feels his heart is about to explode. He embraces the Spaniard again and then takes a step back. “I don't really know what to say. For me, this is pretty impressive.”<br/>
Everyone laughs and Carlos replies: “There is no need to say anything. Go with them and enjoy the night!”</p><p>In George's room, everyone shares their experiences of this long day. The host is talking about his foray into the Haas hotel, and the joyful evening he and Nick spent with Kevin and Romain.<br/>
“I think I will miss them. They are nice guys. I wanted to find out sooner” he concludes, becoming a bit sad.<br/>
Lando is not yet able to understand what Carlos has done for him. He has already told the other three about their night walk in Portimão.<br/>
“Because he loves you, man! And you're the only fucking person out there who hasn't figured it out yet” Alex tells him.<br/>
“He hasn't posted anything on Instagram with his girlfriend for a few months. Plus, she has another boyfriend now” adds Charles.<br/>
“Hey, how do you… no, I don't even want to know who you're stalking and why” Lando comments.<br/>
George takes his hand: “Trust me. You just have to be brave and tell him everything.”<br/>
“But earlier, in the tower, I was about to get closer and kiss him, and he asked me if I was enjoying the view. He fucking ruined the moment.”<br/>
“Oh, man. He really set you up for that one! He was expecting your move!” Charles says, putting his hands in his face.<br/>
“What?” Lando asks in total confusion.<br/>
“Well, he took you on a night tour of the city, you two alone, he led you to a tower with a view of the moon reflecting off the sea - I swear to God this is the most romantic thing I've ever heard - and you still have doubts? Dude, this was his way of declaring his love for you!” George concludes.<br/>
“Lando, I understand if you're not ready to tell him, but don't get stuck on the fact that maybe Carlos doesn't love you. This is bullshit!” Alex adds.<br/>
“So, when you feel confident enough to tell him, get right to the point! Don't overthink and declare your love. He's just waiting for you!” Charles confirms.<br/>
“Okay. Thanks, guys, I'll think about it” he replies, smiling. “You're the best!”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Initially there was no date in my plans for this chapter. But then it came out on its own. I hope you appreciate :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Crazy for you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Since the Imola Grand Prix was held on Halloween, the management organized a costume party to celebrate the conclusion of the long European leg of the championship.<br/>In this chapter we find some other drivers plus some extras: fortunately, our four protagonists have many friends to help them.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I saw in the statistics that many of you are following the story 😍🥰 I'm so happy about it! I love you! Given the period we are going through, you have brightened my day!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The rookie gang is conversing near a table full of food. For one night in the year, there are no settings, modes, faster improvements or mundane race talk, just some fun and a party. That's already a significant input, but Alex and George agreed to come to the party only because they already had the costume and could drink. Alcohol. A lot.</p><p>Alex takes a glass of wine and raises it in the air. "I know the rule among drivers was not to talk about the races and the championship, but I want to make a toast: to George! I'm so glad your new manager has cleared things up and stated that you and Nick will stay for the next year. I know how it feels to be in limbo. To George!" He concludes, before clinking his glass with those of his friends.<br/>
He drinks the liquid all at once, then twitches his mouth into a grimace from the acrid taste.<br/>
"You drink a lot for someone dead" jokes Charles.<br/>
The Monegasque refers to the zombie costume his friend wears. The Thai's face is marked with scars and plague marks, his skin has pale and black shadows in several places, while his clothes are old, mended and worn.</p><p>"To be honest, Lando is the only one who can eat here, even if that would be weird too. But at least he's alive. And thanks, Alex. You're always so kind, buddy" George defends him.<br/>
The shorter guy, in fact, wears an orange suit: shirt, sweatshirt, pants and shoes are all in the tint of his team. His face is also the same colour, with some black details, reminiscent of the Jack-o'-lantern. In fact, there's nothing more Halloween or more orange than a pumpkin.</p><p>George dressed himself up as a skeleton: he wears black clothes on which all the bones of a human body are drawn. "George, please eat something before your real body becomes the same as your costume! With that makeup you look paler and thinner if that's possible" complains Lando.<br/>
The face of the Brit, in fact, is coloured white, except for two big black circles around the eyes. The teeth are outlined on his lips, standing out on the black lipstick.</p><p>Charles, on the other hand, wears a large white cloak that covers his head and goes to the ground. His eyes are the only thing that comes out of the sheet, as others call his dress. He uses the two holes in the centre of his ghost disguise to bring out the arms, obviously covered with white sleeves.</p><p>They look around to see the other costumes, but it is arduous to distinguish a driver from a team member.<br/>
"Do you see any of them? I can't figure out who is who" Alex exclaims, laughing.<br/>
"Max told me he was going to be Frankenstein's monster, but I can't spot him."<br/>
"Oh, cool! Carlos is a vampire, but he didn't show it to me" Lando replies.<br/>
"Seb wanted to be red for his last year at Ferrari. I saw him before the party, and he was wearing a red suit with a pointed tail and horns to play the devil" says Charles.<br/>
George doesn't answer. Nick, as a rookie, has to wear what the other drivers choose for him. Those shits of his colleagues voted for a witch. He can't stand that his handsome secret crush has to be one of the ugliest creatures in fantasy.<br/>
"No comment" he adds before anyone can say something.<br/>
He finishes his glass of wine with class and looks at the creepy decorations in the shed. The large room is divided into ten sectors so that each team can have their own space away from the others. Along the walls, the tables are set with food and drinks, leaving the area in the centre free. Covid prescriptions are limiting, but the virus is spreading again in Europe: the drivers, in fact, didn't have the fans to cheer for them during the Imola race.</p><p> </p><p>The music starts, and some people begin to dance. Charles takes the other three by the hand and leads them to the centre of the room. It is difficult to move to the right rhythm from one meter away and with the mask, but they still have fun.<br/>
When the song stops, Alex and Lando decide to go back to the tables, to rest. They are quite tired after the long afternoon race. The other two dance a little more, but the song is too engaging, and also they soon get weary. They go back to their friends, who are talking about their colleagues' costumes. Max is a perfect Frankenstein's monster: he is green with some scars on his cheeks and a bolt on each side of his neck. They watch the crowd, trying to find other drivers among the engineers, mechanics and doctors.<br/>
“You can quickly turn that sheet into a moon, buddy. It would be perfect with your werewolf” George teases his friend, pointing to Pierre.<br/>
“And tell me, pile of bones, where's your creepy witch?”<br/>
“That's a low blow, Charles. I also fell in love with him for his manly looks and you fucking idiots decided to make him disguise as a witch!”</p><p>Suddenly the music stops, and a different song starts. The melody is menacing and rises, creating suspense and fear. Then, a loud sinister laugh fills the shed, instantly followed by more evil giggling.<br/>
Immediately, a door opens, and ten witches enter the room, all wearing a black cloak and a black pointed hat. They form a circle and begin to dance with the brooms, following the rhythm of the music, while the sinister laughter continues.<br/>
A few seconds later they shout together, turning outside, and run away, riding their brooms, in  general appreciation.<br/>
“I think we found Nick” Lando cheers, still clapping for the show.<br/>
As the witches return, he takes George to his teammate.<br/>
“It was amazing. You were great!” says the shorter, approaching a witch.<br/>
“Thanks, Lando” replies the girl.<br/>
“Sandra? Is that you? I didn't recognize you!” George admits, linking her voice to one of Williams' strategists.<br/>
“Yes, I am. It was treacherous of you: it was very tricky to turn Nick into a witch” she scolds George.<br/>
“Oh, I couldn't vote. This is the rule. I'd certainly have chosen something different.”<br/>
“Yes, he's been complaining about it all evening” confirms Lando.<br/>
“Okay, then I believe you. It was fun, actually” the girl replies. Then she points to another witch: “That's Nick, he's got a blue ribbon on his hat.”</p><p>They thank her and go to Nick, but the Canadian leaves. They follow him and suddenly run into the McLaren men. Carlos is talking to other team members. He wears a long black cloak, and his face is pale with greasepaint, while a red trace falls from his mouth to his neck.<br/>
“Dude, he looks so hot in that vampire costume” George whispers to his friend.<br/>
He can't see Lando blushing because of his orange face, but he is sure his shorter friend is turning red.<br/>
“Wow” lets out the pumpkin.</p><p>They start walking again and finally reach Nicholas.<br/>
“Hey, man. That was great!”<br/>
“Ihihih! Of course it was. I'm a witch: everything I do is exceptional!” the other replies.<br/>
“Sorry, I got too into character” he adds, smiling. “I'm glad you liked it.”<br/>
George remains silent. He's looking at Nick. The Canadian has shaved, and his face is all green, like Max. Black pencil lines emphasize his eyes, making his brown irises stand out even more.<br/>
“You're pretty. Even in green” he says, after a while. “But I prefer you as my teammate.”<br/>
“Trust me! It was harder to try the dance than the whole weekend of driving” concludes Nick, with a laugh.<br/>
The witch then says he would reach his team. He has to thank the girls for their help and wants to chat with others. Lando states that he will return to Charles and Alex, beckoning George to go with the Canadian.</p><p> </p><p>George follows Nick to the Williams team. They all seem so happy: for once they are one of the teams and not the worst on the grid.<br/>
“Hey, Nick, <em>Your Ugliness,</em> you're so cute!” two of the mechanics, disguised as Tweedledee and Tweedledum, joke with him.<br/>
“Where are my girls?” Nick then asks, looking for his co-workers.<br/>
Gradually they join him and pose together for a photo.<br/>
George smiles to see how Nick bonded with the team so facilely: he looks like part of the family. Everyone is so excited about the Halloween party, even if a few hours earlier they missed a good result. Nick finished 11th again, just seconds from the first points. George, on the other hand, was in a great position, but he lost control of the car in the worst way: behind the safety car. The Brit will undoubtedly become the laughing stock of all. He doesn't even know why he is here. He should be in bed crying or working out so he can't replicate that stupid mistake. His friends told him to come and party, especially to see Nick dressed up as a witch.</p><p>He notices a glass of Italian wine and grabs it, taking a couple of sips. The alcohol lights him up for a few seconds, but then he feels his head spinning, so he picks a slice of pizza. He staggers, bumping into someone to his right.<br/>
“Would you like some human flesh?” the man asks. The boy looks at him and almost screams. Romain has a knife going through his head, two black spots around his eyes and a very pallid face. He wears a white apron, all full of crimson stains, reminiscent of blood.<br/>
“Romain, you scared the shit out of me!” exclaims the Brit.<br/>
“Wasn't that the purpose of our Halloween costumes?” laughs the Frenchman. “Instead, isn't it too early to drink wine, buddy?” he adds, pointing to the half-empty glass.<br/>
“I was trying to forget my departure today” confesses the young man.<br/>
The other looks tenderly at him.<br/>
“You know you're not the first, right?”<br/>
“Yes, but I made a horrible impression.”<br/>
“Nothing <em>but.</em> Do you know who was the last?”<br/>
George shakes his head.<br/>
“Me.”<br/>
The Brit opens his mouth, trying to assimilate the shit figure he just made.<br/>
Romain continues: “You didn't know, did you? That's because people forget that kind of thing, trust me.” He puts a hand on his shoulder. “You're much appreciated here as a driver, more than I've ever been. Maybe from time to time, they'll pull it off as a joke, but next year I promise no one will remember. Or, better, they will, but they won't care anymore.”<br/>
George is about to cry, but he contains himself and embraces the Frenchman.</p><p>“Oh, here's one of those responsible for the end of my dignity!” Nick exclaims, approaching.<br/>
Romain laughs and reveals: “You have no idea what was chosen in the other years, Nicholas, you're lucky. Besides, that costume fits you just fine.”<br/>
The canadian smiles and greets the other driver with the elbow.<br/>
“Your disguise is amazing, man. Terrifying! I'm sorry I interrupted your speech, but, George, they want us for a picture with the team.”<br/>
“Oh, don't worry. We were done” Romain replies, taking George's glass from the table. “I'll keep this for you.”<br/>
The Williams drivers greet him, but the Frenchman grabs the witch by the wrist to stop him.<br/>
“Take care of him. He needs someone to talk to.”<br/>
The Canadian's gaze softens: “I'll do it. Thanks for telling me.”<br/>
Then he follows George to their table.</p><p>“Smile!” orders the photographer.<br/>
An army of vampires, zombies and other hideous creatures breaks ranks and return to eat, talk or dance. Nick approaches George and asks him how he feels.<br/>
“I've been better.”<br/>
“Lando told me you didn't want to come tonight.”<br/>
“It's too embarrassing! I knew we wouldn't talk about the race, but it still is. You know what I mean: it was so stupid. I've never felt such crap, you should all laugh at me! You'll be abashed to have me as a teammate.”<br/>
Nick lets his mate vent all his bitterness: he knows it's good for relieving stress. “You could never be an embarrassment to me!”<br/>
The younger looks at him, his blue eyes sparkling.<br/>
“I owe you so much, George: you welcomed me into Williams, you made me feel part of the family. I like the Williams team, all of them, and I like spending time with you.”<br/>
George is speechless and holds back tears.<br/>
“I have the flight to Toronto on Tuesday, but if you want we can watch another film tomorrow evening after finishing with the team.”<br/>
“That would be perfect, Nick.” the Brit answers, smiling.<br/>
“Okay, but now let's dance: you need to let go and forget everything.”</p>
<hr/><p>Alex bites into a sandwich while checking out Charles. His friend looks around the room, but his gaze always returns to Pierre.<br/>
“Did you talk to him?”<br/>
The Monegasque turns to his friend. He knows what the Thai refers to, but the question is still unexpected.<br/>
“No. I… I don't know what to tell him.”<br/>
Alex looks the ghost in the eye. These glow with pain and tears.<br/>
“I know it's difficult, and you feel you're not enough. Or you are afraid of being rejected. But, man, you've been friends since you were little: you can't leave this unresolved.”<br/>
“He thinks I'm arrogant. Perhaps it's true. I don't know.”<br/>
“Okay, but listen, how did you feel when he told you this?”<br/>
“It was like he stabbed me, I couldn't breathe” recalls Charles.<br/>
“That's where you can start. Then? Did you think about the altercation afterwards?”<br/>
“Yes, of course. Every fucking day. I thought he might be right, that it was all my fault.”</p><p>“Gentlemen.”<br/>
The two turn to the voice and find two furry costumes in front of them. The taller is all covered in white hair except the face and resembles a yeti. The other has a darker coat, with brown and grey streaks, a tail and two wolf ears on the head. A werewolf.<br/>
“Daniil, Pierre, wonderful costumes.”<br/>
“Yours too” the Russian replies. “Looks like you just got out of <em>Thriller,</em> Alex. I really like the rips on the fabric and the plague on your face. And this ghost is supposed to be Charles?”<br/>
“Yes, it's me! Ever since I dressed up as a banana, I have found out that I like having a sheet that covers me” he laughs.<br/>
“Is there anything to eat back there? I'm starving!” Daniil asks, looking at the Thai.<br/>
Alex takes the leap: “Sure. I'll show you: these sandwiches are delicious!”<br/>
And walks away with him.</p><p> </p><p>“Bastards” Charles thinks, following his colleagues with his eyes, who leave him alone with Pierre.<br/>
The Monegasque looks at the werewolf.<br/>
“I'm happy you're staying in AlphaTauri next year, man, you're doing great!”<br/>
Pierre answers surprised: “Yes, I'd have preferred RedBull to call me back, but after Horner's words, I'm glad Alpha resigned me.”<br/>
Charles frowns: “Oh, no, man, trust me. You deserve so much better than that bunch of idiots! They have already burned you like they did with Daniel and they're doing with Alex too.”<br/>
“Yes, but today it was depressing to retire on lap 8.”<br/>
“I know, mate, I'm sorry about that. I think you could have done great, as Daniil's performance proved. But I'd rather you stop for a car problem than an accident.”<br/>
Pierre marvels: “Oh, thank you! But I have to admit that I really enjoyed seeing Daniil overtake you in the end” he concludes laughing.<br/>
The other says no words.<br/>
“Oh no, please, Charles. I was joking. Sorry man, I didn't mean to hurt you. With that ghost costume, I can't even see your face, and I don't know how you feel” the Frenchman replies with a sad expression.<br/>
“Don't worry. It was a good joke.”</p><p>Charles breathes: it's time to tell him the truth. “You know, our last discussion didn't end happily. I was… your words hurt me. It was like being stabbed in the back by my best friend.”<br/>
“Oh, Charles” Pierre says faintly.<br/>
The Monegasque explains: “I couldn't breathe and ran away: I couldn't stand it.” He clears his throat. “I tried to forget our debate and not to think about you during the week off, but I couldn't. Your words rang in my head every single day, and I thought about it a lot. Maybe I think only about myself and focus more on my personal goals than yours. Perhaps you were right: I'm really arrogant, and I consider myself superior, but I don't do it on purpose. It was all my fault, Pierre.”<br/>
“No” replies the other suddenly. He looks down, avoiding eye contact. “It's not your fault. At least, not entirely.”<br/>
Pierre sighs: “I too have thought about it a lot. Daniil asked me what happened after he met you in the corridor.”<br/>
Then takes his friend's hands, covered by the white sheet.<br/>
“I'm sorry, Charles. I wasn't totally into me. You're not arrogant, you're just proud of who you are. Okay, maybe you are a little bit, but that's not the point. Oh, man, I was so envious. You're doing great, even with that shitty car, and most of all, you're overshadowing Seb, my youth idol. You became Ferrari's first driver, while I couldn't keep my second seat in RedBull.”<br/>
He looks into Charles hazel eyes and sees them sparkle.<br/>
The Frenchman concludes: “And when every week you asked me to spend time together because it was normal for you, I pulled back. Because, to me, you were a constant reminder of your success and my failure.”<br/>
“Oh no, Pierre. You're not a failure, mate. Don't you dare forget that you have won Monza!”<br/>
“Thanks, Charles.”<br/>
“I missed talking to you.”<br/>
“Me too.”<br/>
“Can I hug you?”<br/>
“But you don't have arms! You're a ghost” Pierre replies, before hugging his friend and holding him close.<br/>
“I missed this too” confesses Charles once they're done.<br/>
“Okay, now I think I'll go back to AlphaTauri… I have something to say to Daniil: he needs to learn how to be more subtle.”<br/>
The other smiles. Instead, he has to thank Alex.</p>
<hr/><p>Lando finds his friends by the tables.<br/>
“Hey, Charles, when did you change your costume?” he asks, noticing the yeti.<br/>
The man turns to the Brit and Lando nearly screams. Daniil laughs at the other's reaction.<br/>
“Sorry, dude. You served me too well.”<br/>
“Hey, Daniil. You look great!” replies the other before turning to the Thai. “Where's Charles?”<br/>
Alex points to the Monegasque a few meters further on the right. “Daniil did an exceptional job.”<br/>
Lando is shocked. Does he know Charles's crush for Pierre? And perhaps theirs too?<br/>
“Well, they've been avoiding each other since they argued. I can't stand seeing them this way. I also warned Seb” explains the Russian.<br/>
Lando gives a sigh of relief. “Yes, Charles is also suffering. He told us something, but he doesn't confide too often.”<br/>
“Seb asked me to chat with him from time to time. He said he's getting used to it after Charles and Carlos. Maybe he was able to talk to his teammate” adds Daniil.<br/>
“Did you say Carlos?” the Brit bursts out, shocked.<br/>
“Yes. It was something about leaving you and the team, but I didn't ask.”<br/>
They remain silent for a while, Lando eats a sandwich to relax his nerves.</p><p>They turn to Charles and Pierre, who are now embracing.<br/>
“I don't think I ever thought I could be so happy to see a werewolf hug a ghost” jokes Lando.<br/>
Daniil states: “Okay, it looks like my mission here is over. I'm going back to my team. Greetings, guys. Have a nice party!”<br/>
“You too, Daniil. And thanks for the help! I know we said no comments about the race, but you did a great job on the track!” Alex congratulates him.<br/>
“Thanks, buddy. I really appreciate it!”<br/>
Lando watches the yeti walk away and exclaims: “Alex, mate, you're a wonderful person.”<br/>
“Guys, we cleared up. Thanks!” says Charles as he approaches.<br/>
Alex rejoices. “But you should also thank Daniil: he contributed a lot.”<br/>
“And Seb too, probably: I saw them confabulating this Thursday.”<br/>
Lando reflects in silence. The words of the Russian echo in his head.<br/>
“Well, I'm going to hell, then” jokes Charles, walking to Sebastian and leaving them with another <em>thank you.</em></p><p>“Well, George and Charles are done. I've spotted Carlos before. Where is he, Alex? Did you see him?” Lando starts charging.<br/>
“No, I didn't. I think he's with the Renault.”<br/>
“Good, let's go.”<br/>
They walk around the room. Everyone wears a costume, so it's not as easy as finding a yellow team.<br/>
Alex pulls him by the sleeve, pointing to a person with a long cloak and hood, a scythe in his hand.<br/>
“Do you think he's a driver?”<br/>
Lando doesn't know: he could be anyone. But behind the stranger, he notices a mummy, with an Egyptian symbol in the necklace. His curly hairs can't be confused: he nudges Alex, saying: “I think the mummy is Daniel.”<br/>
“Oh, yes, it's him!”<br/>
“Well, let's get closer.”<br/>
The Brit pushes his friend towards the Renault drivers and greets them.<br/>
“Hi, Daniel, how are you?”<br/>
“Looks like I'm dead” he jokes. The Brit is looking forward to having him as a teammate: they'll surely be the funniest team in F1.<br/>
“So he's the one who killed you?” Alex asks, pointing to the hooded figure.<br/>
“I killed everyone” the man explains, before revealing that he is Esteban. His face is entirely black and only his eyes can be clearly seen.<br/>
“Well, I don't really know if it's valid for you two” he laughs.<br/>
“I know. I wanted some living human meat, but it looks like this is the wrong place” says the Thai.<br/>
“I'm a pumpkin, so I don't care” Lando completes the characterization.<br/>
Then he asks: “Do you have any milk here, Daniel?”<br/>
The orange man mentally swears for not being able to think of anything better.<br/>
“Oh, no. I think they only put it by McLaren.”<br/>
“Uff, okay. Can you show me what you got here?”<br/>
The Aussie nods, finally understanding.</p><p>When they are alone, the younger says: “Thanks, Dan. For helping Alex. It's a difficult time for him, and I appreciate it. He really needs your help.” He just hopes his colleague doesn't see it as an imposition.<br/>
“No problem. I try to help Alex, but he has very low self-esteem. It doesn't surprise me at all, though: I know RedBull” he replies.<br/>
Lando nods and takes a drink. He signals that they can return to others. The four talk a little about the costumes of the other drivers before the Brit takes Esteban with him, leaving the other two alone.</p><p> </p><p>Alex swears. He knows what Lando just did, as it is the same thing he did before with Pierre and Charles. He blushes a little, looking up to meet the eyes of the man who makes his heart beat faster.<br/>
“Alex” calls the other, noticing that he is staring.<br/>
“Yes, Daniel?” the Thai replies, swallowing.<br/>
“A little bird told me you keep underestimating yourself” he whispers as if confessing something he shouldn't say.<br/>
What did Lando tell him?<br/>
“C'mon, Alex, you're a good driver! Dude, you're driving a Formula One car with only 19 other people on Earth. If that's too little!” Daniel comforts him, shrugging him by the shoulders. “Stop thinking you're not good enough or you don't deserve it.”</p><p>Alex sobs. These words are lovely, but he doesn't know if he'll have a seat next year and he's afraid of missing out on what would be the next step in his career.<br/>
“I keep wasting opportunities, man! You saw what I did today, everyone saw it. I wouldn't be surprised if Chris replaced me with Checo in a couple of days. And honestly, from the outside, this looks like the best option he has.”<br/>
“Oh, dear, you're so impossible! How can I prove you have what it takes?” Exclaims the Aussie, putting his hands on his curly hair. “I'll tell you something about my experience in Formula One. If you don't think you're good enough to drive that damn car, no one else will! Don't throw in the towel so soon! There are four more GPs to race. You have to give your best, as you already do! And then you will confirm that you are a talented driver, and the others will finally see your skills!”</p><p>A couple of tears silently roll down Alex's cheeks.<br/>
“Oh, no, buddy. What are you doing? You're ruining the makeup! Please don't cry, I am unable to redesign your face. We don't make a brain in two, how could we recreate your artwork?” He asks, laughing.<br/>
The Thai also laughs, wiping his face.<br/>
“Thanks, Daniel. Thanks for being here for me. You always are. I wish I had a decent race: this is the second time I find myself licking my wounds instead of being happy for your podium. This is a fucking twist of fate! Twice in a row.”<br/>
He sighs and adds dejectedly: “I'm sorry. Tonight we should have avoided the race talks and chatted about something else. Coming to the party here was probably not a good idea. Sorry, I didn't want to kill the mood for the evening.”</p><p>“Can I hug you, mate? You seem to need it.”<br/>
Alex nods before the older man takes him in his arms and makes him feel safe. The Thai starts sobbing over the fake bandages, repeating he is ruining everything. Daniel shushes him while massaging his back.<br/>
He whispers over the other's hair: “Stop telling bullshits! Promise me you'll stop crying and blaming yourself for everything. Just do it! I wanna hear you say you promise.”<br/>
The Australian breaks the hug and looks him in the eye. The zombie sniffles and promises. Then Daniel approaches and wipes the tears under his colleague's eyes.</p><p>“Good boy! You may not think you're a good driver, but you are definitely an amazing friend, everyone says so. Now please let your friends return the favour. They brought you here because they want you to be happy and to forget negative thoughts.”<br/>
Esteban arrives, puts a hand on the shoulder on both of them and suggests: “Shouldn't this be a party? Then let's dance! The night is still young!”<br/>
Alex follows the Renault drivers away from the tables and starts dancing with them to the loud music.</p>
<hr/><p>Chatting with Esteban, time passed quickly. We talked about the pandemic, and then about food. He showed me what they have on the table and made me taste a slice of a French dessert. I loved it. Now he's trying to teach me some French words, but my tongue isn't sinuous enough.<br/>
“How the hell are you able to make those sound?” I protest.<br/>
“Trust me, Lando, I ask myself the same thing every time I teach it to an English speakers” he laughs. “You too have difficult words to pronounce, especially for us French.”<br/>
“That's fair” I say.<br/>
I think I gave Alex enough time with Daniel. I greet Esteban and tell him to say bye to his teammate for me.<br/>
Then I walk to where we were at the beginning of the party. Unfortunately, there is no one here. I look around the shed, but can't find them.</p><p>Then I remember the words of my friends.<br/>
<em>Carlos asked Seb something about leaving you and the team.<br/>
Because he loves you, man.<br/>
He was expecting your move.<br/>
Dude, this was his way of declaring his love for you!</em><br/>
But where's the McLaren table? Where is Carlos?</p><p>Suddenly the lights go down, and only the stage with the musician remains illuminated. I sharpen my eyes to see something, but I can't recognize anyone. Now some smoke spreads around. The room sways as the music starts and looks like an American college film. Strangers make the most of the dark: two by two their bodies become one.<br/>
I wish I could find him. Oh, Carlos, I'm so in love with you! I hope you feel the same about me and I'm so sad that I couldn't figure it out. But where are you, man? Please show yourself. Oh, there you are!</p><p>I see you through the smokey air. Can't you feel the weight of my stare? You're so close but still a world away. What I'm dying to say is that I'm crazy for you: touch me once, and you'll know it's true. I never wanted anyone like this, it's all brand new. You'll feel it in my kiss: I'm crazy for you.</p><p>Trying hard to control my heart, I walk over to where you are. Eye to eye we need no words at all: the expression in your gaze is enough to make me feel complete. We hug, and I rest my head on your shoulder. Slowly, now we begin to move. Every breath I'm deeper into you. Soon we two are standing still in time. If you read my mind you'll see I'm crazy for you: touch me once, and you'll know it's true. I never wanted anyone like this, it's all brand new. You'll feel it in my kiss: I'm crazy for you.</p><p>I take my courage in both hands and whisper in his ear: “I'm crazy for you, Carlos.”<br/>
We stop, and he breaks the embrace, looking me in the eye. His brown eyes bring me back to my room a week ago, when he asked me if I trusted him. Then they take me to that tower in Portimão, with the moon over the sea and the two of us alone there. I stare at him and intertwine our hands.<br/>
“I don't know how it started, Lando, but I can't take the weekends away from you anymore. I miss your smiles, your laughter, when you make me feel important just because I'm talking to you. I never thanked you enough for that time you came to my room and wanted to chat with me, even though I sent you away and I'm so-”<br/>
I cover his mouth with my hand, approaching him: “Stop Carlos, you're talking too much.”<br/>
I drop my hand, and we get closer and closer, until our lips touch. I kiss Carlos and feel it is the right thing to do. The song goes on, but we keep kissing as if our lives depended on it, which is partly true. When we part, I'm out of breath, and Carlos has the same problem too. Suddenly I realize a small detail, which I completely forgot. We are in a fucking crowded room.</p><p>Carlos understands this from my shocked expression. We look around, but no one seems to be watching us, thanks to the darkness.<br/>
“Do you want to get out of here?” Carlos asks me, worried.<br/>
“No, we can stay here and act as nothing happened, if you want” I propose. Running away would be too suspicious.<br/>
“Yes, no problem. But I want a goodnight kiss later” he winks, with a mischievous air.<br/>
“Only one?” I reply, grinning.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>The last part takes up the lyrics of the song Crazy for you, by Madonna.<br/>A few months ago I reviewed 13 Going on 30, and searched for the song at the end of the film. As soon as I heard it and read the text, I imagined the scene between Lando and Carlos and I decided that I would have included it in this fic.<br/>I hope it wasn't too bad a choice 🤞🏻</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Racing on ice</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>2020 Turkish Grand Prix | Istanbul</p><p>Alex has an argument with Max, but is comforted by Daniel.<br/>George and Nick have an interesting meeting.<br/>Pierre worries about Charles.<br/>Carlos and Lando discover that someone has seen them kiss, while George learns a secret about a certain Canadian.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I apologize enormously for the delay, but last Sunday's Romain incident really upset me and I decided to take a few days off from writing.<br/>This complicated my plans slightly, because I am one race behind, and now I will have to recover quickly.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Alex finishes answering the journalists and heads to the paddock. For once they weren't mean to him. They also said he drove well, despite the difficult track conditions. He smiled slightly: his race was good, yes, but Checo did a great job and finished second. Only now does he realise that the podium is made up of three thirty-year-olds: in the toughest races, the experience is everything!</p><p>He is thinking about it when he sees Max furiously walk away from one of their co-workers. The man lets him go and looks at Alex in exasperation. The look in his eyes is between the hurt and the annoyed: the same one you have with a kid who has a tantrum. Alex understands his teammate: he's a great driver, but he's still 23. Being first in all free practice bodes well. It was already a tremendous blow to qualify 2nd after Stroll. Without taking anything away from Lance, Max obviously expected the pole. He was having a great race when trying to overtake Checo, he unfortunately spun, and things got complicated quickly.</p><p>Alex follows the Dutchman around the paddock. Seeing yesterday's photo on social media of him sitting on the ground was tender and devastating at the same time: he had never seen him so depressed. He probably feels the same even now, if not worse.<br/>
Max stops by a tree in Istanbul's exotic paddock. Alex sighs for courage and approaches his teammate.<br/>
“Hey, Max” lets out, nervously.<br/>
The Dutchman replies with a grunt.<br/>
“You want to talk?”<br/>
The other denies with a nod.</p><p>“Can I sit here next to you?” Alex tries.<br/>
Max remains silent, so the Thai sits down. After a while, the Dutchman begins to talk.<br/>
“This was a fucking slippery race, shit! Aside from free practice, I was fucking second this morning. And then I could have passed Perez and maybe fought for 1st place, damn it! How the hell did Hamilton manage to win this time too? Man, this was supposed to be my weekend after all the issues Mercedes had in quali! Mine. Why couldn't he struggle like Bottas, man? And that fucking slippery track did the rest, of course. Because when I tried to overtake Perez, I spun, while when Hamilton tried, he manages to outpace him. This must be crazy. Crazy!” he ends his monologue, yelling.</p><p>Alex has probably never seen Max so furious.<br/>
“What about you? How can you be so calm, man? Perez finished second, you still don't have a seat for next year, and you are so fucking quiet? Please go away. I can't stand seeing you so calm when you should be pissed off like me, Alex.”<br/>
The Thai freezes but manages to get up.<br/>
“Please, leave me alone” the other repeats.<br/>
Alex starts walking towards the garage by inertia, tears filling his eyes. He would like to run, but his legs are shaking too much, so he quickly walks away.</p><p> </p><p>Daniel is a little sorry with himself. From his racing experience, he should have driven better! The man decides to take the long way to the Renault garage after the podium ceremony. He wants to give his all with Renault, even if he will move to McLaren next year. However, unfortunately, he complicated his places in the constructors' and driver's titles.</p><p>He is walking between the two rows of palm trees in the paddock when he hears a voice he knows. He looks at where the sound comes from and sees Max waving his hands in the air vehemently. Alex sits next to him, looking worried. Now he is closer and can hear the words of the Dutchman.<br/>
“Perez finished second, you still don't have a seat for next year, and you are so fucking quiet? Please go away.”<br/>
Oh, man, is he crazy? Why is Max talking to Alex like that?<br/>
“Please, leave me alone” he repeats, concluding.<br/>
Daniel sees Alex run away, and his heart breaks.</p><p>He walks determinedly towards his former teammate, anger coming out of his nostrils.<br/>
“Hey, you” he calls once he approaches his colleague.<br/>
“Stupid idiot, are you crazy? Why did you tell him that?” he yells, pointing in the direction the Thai has gone.<br/>
Max mutters taken aback: “Dan?”<br/>
“No, Dan! Are you stupid? Have you seen him this year? Have you ever thought about how difficult it is to be overshadowed by you? Having to prove at every race that you are good enough to be on the team with you? You've never experienced it, Max. He has. And I did.”<br/>
“But I...” Max starts, trying to put into words what he's thinking.<br/>
“I know this weekend has been difficult for you, mate. I saw you after quali! But, man, Alex came here to comfort you. Because he knows how hard it is to deal with it alone. And instead of thanking him, you reminded him that he doesn't have a seat for next year yet.”<br/>
“Oh, Daniel” Max sighs, becoming sad. “I didn't want to be mean to him.”<br/>
He looks Daniel in the eye and explains: “I couldn't bear to see him so quiet when he should be even more furious than me.”<br/>
“I can understand you, but that's not a good reason to yell at him. Even if you're angry about your race.”<br/>
Max's face darkens.<br/>
Dan advises him: “I suggest you go to your room, take a shower and get some rest. It should be effective.”<br/>
“Yes, thank you. This will surely help.”<br/>
“Right. Um, and, Max?”<br/>
“Yup?”<br/>
“After that, I think it's best if you find Alex and apologise.”<br/>
“Sure, it would be the minimum” replies the Dutchman.<br/>
The two colleagues separate. </p><p>Daniel snorts and starts looking for Alex. He tries in the Thai driver's room, but there's nobody inside. He runs across the paddock but can't find him. Then he thinks maybe the boy went to his friends, so he looks near the Williams garage. Nobody.<br/>
As he walks over to McLaren, Daniel wonders if he should call him on the phone. Suddenly he hears low noises and something that sounds like sobbing. He spots Alex sitting on the ground, between a tree and a stone sculpture, with his chin on his knees.</p><p>“Hey, Alex, buddy. I'm so sorry” he says, approaching and touching the Thai on the shoulder.<br/>
“Can I sit there with you?”<br/>
Alex nods without stopping sobbing. The older sits next to him and hugs him.<br/>
“Okay, man. Cry, let the tears come out. After that, how about we move somewhere else? Here we have a wonderful view: those toilets are very nice, but I'm a little uncomfortable.”<br/>
The question steals a little laugh from the RedBull driver, who nods once again.<br/>
They get up and go to a bench not too far away.<br/>
“Hey, I scrubbed Max for what he told you. He was rude, but I think he didn't mean to offend you. He doesn't know how to handle disappointment” Daniel tells the young man.</p><p>Alex gasps. Why did the other do it for him?<br/>
“But why did you-”<br/>
“Oh, yeah, sorry. I was walking there too and overhead the last part of your conversation. I didn't want to eavesdrop.”<br/>
Alex gives a soft chuckle. “No, I mean, why did you do it for me?” he asks, looking up to meet Dan's brown eyes.<br/>
The Aussie mumbles surprised by the question.<br/>
“Because I've been there too.”<br/>
“Many of us have. Esteban, for example.”<br/>
“Okay. I don't know why. But I know you, and I think you didn't deserve Max's hatred just because you were there to comfort him.”<br/>
“I'm very glad to hear this, but I don't mean just today, Daniel.”<br/>
Alex knows he's pushing too hard, but wants to know if there's the slightest chance that what he's feeling is reciprocated.<br/>
“Oh, dude, I'm sorry” Daniel replies, frowning. “I didn't want to bother you. I think I'll go then” he concludes getting up.</p><p>Alex is horrified. “No, no, Daniel. Stay, please” he says, taking the other by the wrist.<br/>
“Why am I always screwing everything up?” he complains, his eyes full of tears. “I like having you here for me. Please, don't go away. I just wanted to know why: I don't deserve this attention from you.”<br/>
Daniel sighs, shaking his head. He puts his hand on Alex's shoulder and says: “How many times do I have to repeat that you are a great driver and above all, a wonderful person? You deserve someone to refresh your memory on this, and I'd be happy to be that person if you wish too.”<br/>
Alex smiles and asks: “Can I hug you now?”<br/>
Daniel opens his arms and holds the Thai as if he could fall if the Aussie let him go.<br/>
“Thanks, Daniel. I wish you were that person. And thanks for defending me with Max, I know you two have a special bond.”</p>
<hr/><p>George snorts: this was another pointless race. He is starting to lose hope. He jumps onto the bed and closes his eyes, wondering what it would be like to earn a point. He hopes he doesn't have to wait another year or two. He loves Williams, but the prospect of another year as hard as this one is not happy. Of course, this is better than a year off.</p><p>He hears some knocks. Opens one eye, sharpening his hearing. He probably just imagined it. He goes back to half-sleep when more knocks follow. He opens his eyes wide.<br/>
“Hey, George? Are you there?”<br/>
This sounds like Nick's voice. The Brit jumps to his feet and runs to the door. He lets his teammate in and goes back to the sofa. Nick is playing with the drawstrings of the black Williams sweatshirt. He clears his throat: “Are you okay?”<br/>
George raises an eyebrow: “Yes. Why?”<br/>
“You're still wearing your tracksuit” the Canadian points out.<br/>
“Oh, yes, I am” laughs George. “I was thinking.”<br/>
Then he gets up and opens the closet. He grabs a pair of jeans, a shirt and a sweatshirt and starts undressing.</p><p>“Oh, hum, do you want me to go out?” Nick asks.<br/>
George looks at him without stopping: “Why, man? You've seen lots of my shirtless photos.”<br/>
“Sure. But first, those were photos, and second, you always wore pants” replies the other, hoping not to blush.<br/>
He fails. But he doesn't know if George has noticed. Nick turns to the wall, waiting for his mate to finish dressing. When he no longer hears the noises of clothes, Nick turns around again and sees George on his back looking for something in his wardrobe. Shirtless.</p><p>The Brit turns and sees that his friend is watching him.<br/>
“Hey, Nick, why are you looking at me like that?” he asks.<br/>
“I… I wasn't looking at you” replies the Canadian, blushing violently. He must change the subject immediately. “I was observing you. You're hiding something, man.”<br/>
“It's weird to say to a shirtless guy!”<br/>
They burst out laughing, almost crying.<br/>
Then Nick continues: “No, seriously, George. Are you sure everything's fine? You were so unusually quiet during the post-race data check.”<br/>
George freezes. How did the other notice it?<br/>
“You know. It's a strange feeling: until a month ago I was in doubt for next year… but earlier I was thinking that in 14 races we didn't get one point. There are only three left. I'm afraid that next year will be a copy of this. It's a bit weird, and maybe it's just the after-race. I don't know.”</p><p>Nick has meanwhile joined George on the bed and is now patting him on the shoulder.<br/>
“Breath, George. It's okay.”<br/>
They look into each other's eyes. Nick can see the sparkle in his mate's grey irises.<br/>
“I agree with you, but I see the effort you put into each race, and I know the performance increase over the last year. Man, you did a great job, and so did the team. Next season won't be this bad, I'm sure.”<br/>
“Thanks, Nick. I needed it. But I still think I didn't do my best today.”<br/>
“Okay. But reflect about it: today, even Max – the phenomenon of our generation – had problems staying on track. And what about the last turn of predestined Charles? They all had struggles, but with a better car. I think this wasn't the easiest track to get our first points. Maybe if more drivers hadn't finished the race… I retired to get you a position, but it wasn't enough” jokes Nick.<br/>
“I'm sorry, man. It won't have been easy for you.”<br/>
“Definitely. Rallying on ice was easier, believe me.”</p><p>George puts his hand on Nick's leg for a second, and thanks him for coming and comforting him.<br/>
Nick blushes once again and immediately stands up.<br/>
“I'm sorry” he clears his throat. “I have to go now. I wanted to talk to Lance too.”<br/>
“Oh, man. I feel sorry for him. Say hello to him.”<br/>
“I will. Bye, George.”<br/>
“Bye, Nick” concludes the Brit.</p><p>Once he is alone again, he relaxes on the couch. Did Nick blush when he put his hand on his leg? And was the Canadian looking at him when he was shirtless? Oh, man, why doesn't he confess his love like Lando did?<br/>
Lando! He had completely forgotten!<br/>
Lando kissed Carlos at the party after the Imola GP. He saw them: they were so cute together. George is sure they don't know that he does. He wonders if he should ask Lando about the kiss or not. Perhaps the other needs more time. Well, George will decide that as soon as he meets his friend.</p>
<hr/><p>Pierre congratulates Seb on his first podium this year.<br/>
“I'm really happy for you, man. You deserved it.”<br/>
“Thanks, Pierre. It came completely unexpected, but it's still nice” smiles Seb. “I was almost forgetting what it feels like.<br/>
Pierre looks around. “Charles?”<br/>
Seb changes expression: “He's quite angry with himself. But he was very kind to compliment me. I think he's in his room now.”<br/>
He warns his colleague: “I'll leave him alone for a while: I don't think he'd be happy to see me. Perhaps you will be able to calm him down.”<br/>
The Frenchman gives a hint of a smile and heads for the Ferrari garage.</p><p> </p><p>Charles is lying on the sofa, still wearing the tracksuit. His face is pressed to the pillow as his mind relives, over and over, that last fucking turn. He hears a knock on his door.<br/>
He snorts: he doesn't want to talk to Seb. He's happy for his teammate's podium, he knows how much the German deserves it after this complicated year, but he's not really in the mood.<br/>
Other knocks force him to get up. He opens the door reluctantly but is shocked to see Pierre staring back at him.<br/>
“Hey.”<br/>
“Hi, Charles. Seb said that you're here. Can we talk?”<br/>
The Monegasque nods still surprised to see him there. He lets the other in and closes the door.<br/>
“Charles, I understand if you don't want to talk about the race. I just wanted to be with you for a while, to support you. I can imagine how bad it hurts” Pierre says in one breath.<br/>
“Yes, it hurts. I did a fucking job! I have been so stupid! I am so fucked off with myself!”<br/>
He stops and turns to meet Pierre's eyes. “You will think I am a hypocrite. I'm here complaining about 4th place, while you finished 13th. Or George, who fights for one point every week.”<br/>
“No, Charles. You're not a hypocrite” says Pierre. “When you're second just one turn from the chequered flag, even 4th place looks bad. I would have felt the same if Carlos had passed me on the last lap in Monza, stealing my maiden victory.”<br/>
“Thank you, Pierre. I appreciate it very much. But if you don't mind, I'd rather be alone now.”<br/>
The Frenchman hurts in hearing this. It seems that he is not enough for his friend.<br/>
Charles notices the frown in Pierre's expression and clarifies: “It's not your fault, Pierre. It's mine.”</p><p>He looks away, he can't look the other in the eye.<br/>
“I don't want to hurt you, mate. This race was a fucking joke: the track was slippery like ice and me going long at the last turn is the highlight of the race. Everyone will have laughed. I'm so fucking mad at myself, I'm furious. I'm afraid of not being able to control it and scream at you, and I don't want it.”<br/>
“Oh, Charles.” Pierre hugs him from behind. “I know it's hard, but please, you need to learn to talk to someone for your sake. You can't keep it all inside.”<br/>
“You're right, but I think this isn't the best time to learn it. Please, leave me alone for now. I can't-”<br/>
Charles takes a deep breath. He squeezes Pierre's hands but avoids eye contact. “I can't stand seeing a look of sorrow in your eyes again. That would be the worst, and I don't want to be the cause.”<br/>
The Frenchman sighs, struck by his friend's words. He whispers: “Okay, I'm going. But I need you to promise me you won't leave me. I don't want to lose you too, now that I've found you.”<br/>
Charles turns, stares into Pierre's green eyes and wonders how close he is to kiss him. However, he smiles and simply hugs the other. A single tear falls on his cheek. Pierre takes a step back and holds the Monegasque on the shoulders. “Don't be too hard on yourself, okay?”<br/>
Charles nods and then opens the door to his friend, thanking him.</p>
<hr/><p>Lando knocks on Carlos's door. The Spaniard opens it and beams, letting his teammate enter. After Carlos closes the door, Lando blocks him against the wall, and the two start kissing.<br/>
“I missed you today” confesses the taller.<br/>
“I missed you too” the Brit replies. “Fortunately we'll have more free time tonight.”</p><p>“You know, sooner or later we'll have to tell the team.”<br/>
“Yes, I know. Do you think they will accept it?” Lando asks.<br/>
“I don't know. Probably nothing will change within the team. But I think they'll find out eventually. I think I'll miss one word too many with you around, <em>corazón.”</em><br/>
“Aww, repeat it for me please, babe.”<br/>
<em>“Corazón.”</em><br/>
“You know I love it when you speak Spanish to me, huh?” Lando asks before kissing him again. “It's the same for me, anyway. I'm afraid they'll find out very soon.”<br/>
Carlos states: “Well, it's none of their business, but I don't care if they know.”<br/>
The other nods before saying: “Okay, honey. I'll go to my room before anyone suspects anything.”<br/>
They kiss one last time and then Carlos checks outside. He gestures to Lando, and the Brit secretly leaves.</p><p> </p><p>George is walking in the paddock when he sees the McLaren duo helping the team tidy up. He comes over and throws the hook.<br/>
“Hey, guys. I'm so happy for you.”<br/>
“Thank you, George. I'm so sorry for you, but I'm sure you'll earn your first points very soon” Carlos replies. Or at least he starts saying, before being interrupted in the middle of the sentence.<br/>
“How the hell do you know?” Lando yells, shocked, covering his mate's voice.<br/>
The Spaniard concludes what he was saying in a low voice after the Brit basically spoiled their relation to the Williams driver.<br/>
“Ah! I knew it!” George shouts too.</p><p>Carlos takes them to the centre of the paddock, ordering them to lower their voices.<br/>
“Sorry, Carlos” Lando apologises.<br/>
“Don't worry, <em>cabrón.”</em><br/>
“I understand if you didn't want to tell me” says George. “I just wanted to say that you were so cute at the party – yes, I saw you – and I'm really happy for you.”<br/>
The McLaren couple blushes heavily.<br/>
“Did… did you see us?” Carlos asks, widening his collar in the sudden heat. He feels his cheeks on fire.<br/>
George confesses: “I did. I looked around to see if I could react with someone else, but they were all dancing, and in the dark, it was already a miracle that I could see you.”<br/>
“Thank God” Lando exclaims. “And what about you?”<br/>
“Me?” George feels exposed. “Does he know?” he asks, pointing to the Spaniard.<br/>
“Now he will know.”<br/>
Carlos frowns but remains silent.<br/>
“I don't know, man” replies the other, before telling them about his last encounter with the Canadian.<br/>
“Wait wait wait. Are you in love with Nicholas?” Carlos exclaims.<br/>
This is George's turn to go red. He nods.</p><p>The Spaniard turns pale, visibly shocked. He seeks eye contact with his mate.<br/>
“Are you shocked, babe?”<br/>
“Babe?” mocks George.<br/>
Carlos grabs Lando by the arm and steps aside.<br/>
“I saw Nicholas with Lance before. They were hugging.”<br/>
“Well, Lance had a tough Sunday, Carlos. Nick was understandably comforting him” Lando replies.<br/>
“Okay. But, <em> corazón,</em> I saw them go out several times. At first, I thought it was because they're both Canadian and don't have many friends here.”<br/>
He pauses for a moment. “But, you know, I always thought that Lance was gay, and seeing them embrace reminded me of the two of us.”<br/>
“What?” George snaps, joining them from behind. “Are you saying Nick and Lance are together?”<br/>
The man jumps.</p><p>“I… I don't know, man. I'm sorry.”<br/>
“Carlos, please, tell me! Were they kissing?”<br/>
“Oh no, no” he replies, moving his hands. “They were just hugging.”<br/>
“I think there's no need to worry, George. Carlos has a vast imagination.”<br/>
“I want to talk to Lance, then” the taller responds, turning to the RacingPoint box.<br/>
“No, wait. You can't go, George. It'd be better if someone else talked to him.”<br/>
“Fine, you can do it.”<br/>
“Oh, no, I'm sorry. Lance and I have a far from good relationship” Lando replies.<br/>
“Alex? He gets along with everyone” suggests the other Brit.<br/>
“I will go” states the older.<br/>
“Oh, thank you, Carlos” says George, before embracing the Spaniard.</p><p>“Hey, hey, okay. Stop it now, I'm getting jealous” the younger frowns.<br/>
“Fine, I'll talk to him, but not tonight. Lance will already be frustrated on his own.”<br/>
“Don't worry and spend more time with Nick, okay, George? We got you” adds Lando.<br/>
“Sainz! Norris! Are you staying there and chatting, or are you going to help us?” a mechanic yells at them.<br/>
The three drivers laugh and greet each other.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A couple has formed, who will be next? Will there be a next one? There are only three races left...</p><p>I just realized that I didn't mention Lewis' World Champion Title at all O.o<br/>I'm so sorry, but the delay made me miss a step along the way. Lewis was very impressive! Hats off!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Like I'm gonna lose you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>2020 Bahrain Grand Prix | Sakhir</p><p>Romain's accident left everyone shocked. Charles and George are helped to overcome the first moment of shock.<br/>After the race, Lando and Carlos talk about revealing their relationship; Alex feels he doesn't deserve the podium, but someone will make him change his mind with a surprise. Charles decides to declare himself, while George confides in Nick.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I have no words to describe the shock I felt on seeing Romain's car catch fire. Luckily he's fine.<br/>Sorry for the long wait, but I needed a few days off from writing to recharge my mental energy after those shocking images.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Charles parks in the pit lane and jumps out of the car. He knows that Romain is fine, but he still needs someone to comfort him after the shock of the images of the crash running through his head.<br/>
He looks around for Seb's red suit: he needs him. The older man will surely pull the right strings to calm him down. The pit lane is full of cars now, but he can't find his teammate. Some of the drivers are standing near the cars, waiting for the images of the accident.</p><p>“Charles!” he hears a call to his right.<br/>
He sees Pierre running towards him, and then they embrace.<br/>
“I'm glad it wasn't you” the Frenchman says, breathing in the other's scent to confirm that Charles is really there.<br/>
“It was Romain...” the Monegasque stammers.<br/>
“Yes, they told me. My team says he's fine.”<br/>
“It was awful, Pierre. I… I heard the crash, and then I saw the fire, a big fire breaking out where the car was. I thought...” he sobs, holding his friend tighter. “I thought he wouldn't make it” he stops, unable to continue.<br/>
Tears of relief start flowing from his eyes, the adrenaline is totally gone.</p><p>“Charles, there's the video of the accident!” Pierre warns, pointing to the screen. All the people in the box gulp from the crash as Charles holds his breath waiting for Romain to appear safe. The seconds pass slowly until, what seems like an eternity later, in the video, they see a man jumping on the guard rail and being rescued by the medical staff and removed from the fire. Everyone starts clapping and cheering for what they've seen.</p><p>Pierre shakes Charles's hand, bringing him back to the present. “Did you see the crash in the mirrors?”<br/>
“No, I only saw the big fire, but it was still fucking scaring! And the pits didn't immediately tell me who was inside the car. It was shocking to wait for an answer. And then I had to wait to find out if he was okay. It was terrible!” the young man concludes in tears.<br/>
Pierre embraces him once again, shushing him and rubbing over his back.<br/>
“I can't imagine what you've been through, mate: I was just told there was a big accident. But now everything is fine! Romain is fine and on his way to the hospital. It's all over!”<br/>
Charles sniffles: he feels safe in the other's arms. He hopes the FIA will suspend the race for a while so that he can stay that way for a little longer.<br/>
He reads on the screen that the race is postponed for an hour and a half. His prayers are answered. He smiles: staying in the arms of his crush is the second best news today, after Romain's miraculous safety.</p>
<hr/><p>“George? George!”<br/>
The Brit awakens and focuses on Nick in front of him.<br/>
“George, are you okay?” asks the Canadian, shaking the other's shoulder.<br/>
“Yes, I suppose.”<br/>
Silence falls between them, but it says everything that the young driver can't.</p><p>“To tell the truth, I'm not” George corrects himself. “Romain has been so nice to me lately, you know, ever since we went to their hotel. Then, when I crashed behind the safety car, he comforted me, and we got along very well. He gave me a lot of advice, as he couldn't do it next year. He was one of the many mentors I had, and he could have died today. I… I can't think correctly.”<br/>
Nick caresses the other's hand, hinting a smile. “You know, in the end, the most important thing is not how, why or when: the only thing that matters is that Romain is alive. He can answer the phone when you call him, you can see him again and hear him laugh one more time. This is what matters! Because you can recover from this. It's not easy, but you can.”</p><p>Nick's breath is shaky. “I'm so glad he's alive because I know what it feels like when one of your colleagues isn't so lucky.” He stops, his eyes full of tears at the remembrance of what happened to Anthoine last year.<br/>
George holds the Canadian's shoulders and wipes a tear from the other's cheek with the thumb. They hug, and for a moment everything's fine: no more worries, no more pain, no more bad memories.<br/>
“Thanks, George.”<br/>
“Oh, thank you too, Nick. Now, let's double-check everything: we have a GP to race.”</p>
<hr/><p>The Bahrain GP ended as it had begun: the rear of Sergio Perez's car started to emit smoke and then caught fire with just three laps to go. It was very heartbreaking as Checo was 3rd and very close to his second consecutive podium. The race ended with the safety car and confirmed the victory of Lewis Hamilton, followed by Max Verstappen and Alex Albon on the podium. Right behind them came Lando and Carlos in fourth and fifth position.</p><p>Everyone at McLaren celebrates the drivers. With their exceptional performance and the retirement of the two RacingPoint, they have a 17 points advantage for a firm 3rd place. Mechanics and engineers embrace each other and with the two drivers.</p><p>A team member arrives from the Haas garage and informs everyone that Romain is in the hospital and has burns to both hands and left leg, but is basically fine. Another series of claps and cheers rise. All the teams overshadowed the race results compared to Romain's conditions: it was a touching moment of sharing. During the red flag break, Lando felt he could get along with anyone, including Lance.</p><p>Perhaps this is also due to the chat that the Canadian had with Carlos. His beloved told him that Lance and Nick are just good friends and get along well. The Spaniard is sure there is no love interest on the part of the RacingPoint driver.</p><p>Lando smiles, feeling he loves Carlos a little more after what he did for George. He approaches the man and leans over to whisper in the other's ear: “I want to kiss you. Can we go to my room?”<br/>
Carlos looks at him, his cheeks turn red, and he nods. Then follows the Brit into the driver's room.</p><p>The Spaniard cups Lando's face and mirrors himself in the other's blue eyes, before their lips touch. Lando places a hand on Carlos's neck and deepens the kiss. When they part, the Brit tenderly looks at his beloved.<br/>
“Mi amor, why are you looking at me like that?” asks the other.<br/>
“Because I'm so lucky to have you as my boyfriend.”<br/>
“Your boyfriend… I like the way it sounds” Carlos replies, bending over for another kiss.<br/>
“I was thinking about what you did with Lance to help George, and I fell in love with you once again.”<br/>
“Oh, Lando, that's so cute to say. You want to make me cry.”<br/>
The Brit smiles and hugs his teammate.</p><p>Carlos says: “By the way, I think it's time to tell Alex, man. It's thanks to him that we got even closer after the Spa race.”<br/>
“Oh, fuck. He'll kill me. It's been almost a month from our first kiss, babe.”<br/>
“And two weeks since George knows too.”<br/>
Lando turns pale but then says: “Well, he waited a month: he can wait a few more minutes. Now I'm busy: I have to celebrate our success!”<br/>
He closes the gap from Carlos and kisses his boyfriend again.</p>
<hr/><p>The 3rd place trophy weighs in Alex's hands. He is delighted with his 2nd career podium, but he feels like he doesn't deserve it. Also, today's greatest success is that Romain jumped out of his burning car and is safe.</p><p>The RedBull pair congratulate each other in the corridor that separates their driver's rooms and smile, serene after too long. The Thai closes the door and remembers how their last post-race went, with Max screaming at him. Dan must have been really upset, because the Dutchman came to apologise on Monday morning, before their couple of days off for Bahrain.</p><p>Alex also wants to congratulate Lando: as these are the last three races, the drivers haven't had a moment to rest or talk before. He puts his hand in his pocket and realises that his phone isn't there. He retraces his last gestures with his mind, and remember putting it in the garage before the team photo with the trophies.</p><p>He runs out to there when he notices a figure dressed in yellow near Max's room.<br/>
“Hey, Alex! Another podium, buddy! Are you going to beat me?” jokes Daniel.<br/>
The Thai beams. He would like to say that the other will definitely end up better, but that's not the smartest thing to say out loud in the RedBull box.<br/>
“I'm doing my best!” he answers. “But it'll be difficult if you keep getting good results.”<br/>
The Aussie also smiles.<br/>
“I have to see Max now, but we can talk later if you want.”<br/>
“Okay, see you later then!” Alex replies, heading back to the garage.</p><p>He finds his cell phone on the table where he left it, and he dials Lando's number.<br/>
“Hello?”<br/>
“Hi, Lando, I'm Alex. I wanted to congratulate you on your 4th place: you had a great race, buddy. I'm so happy for you.”<br/>
“Thanks, Alex” Lando replies. “I'm jubilant, also because Carlos finished 5th, so we got a lot of points in the championship title. But I should be the one to congratulate you on your 3rd place, man! You got on the podium again! I'm thrilled, man, you're amazing! I always knew you were capable of it: I'm pleased that now everyone knows.”<br/>
“Thanks, Lando. I'm excited too, but I don't know,  I don't think I merit this podium, you know, because-”<br/>
“No no no no no, stop bullshits!” Lando interrupts the Thai driver. “Are you crazy, Alex? Do you know how many times people have stood on the podium without deserving it? It's not a question of deserving it, it's just a question of being there. Arriving 3rd when someone fails to finish the race or goes long and loses positions is no less merited than with an overtaking. You know Seb, in Istanbul? He finished 3rd because Charles went long. Do you think he didn't enjoy his 3rd place? Sure he did! It was his first podium in 2020, I think he was happy up to the seventh heaven, you know? You should be too, okay? Got it?”<br/>
“Yes, Lando, I got it. Thank you!”</p><p>The Brit breathes heavily on the phone. “Hey Alex, I have to tell you something.”<br/>
“Yes, tell me!”<br/>
Lando asks if there is anyone close to his friend because he has to tell him something private. The Thai looks around and sees no one.<br/>
“I'm alone. You can talk.”<br/>
“I don't really know how to say it!”<br/>
“Tell him!” Alex hears a second voice in the background.<br/>
“Okay Lando, don't worry if you don't want to say it. Not a problem, buddy.”<br/>
“No, Alex, I have to tell you.”<br/>
“All right.”<br/>
“Carlos and I got together.”<br/>
“You what?” the other asks, raising his voice.<br/>
“No no please, Alex, don't scream! Please, don't scream.”<br/>
“Okay, sorry, man. Let me go to my room so I can speak quietly.”</p><p>“Okay Lando, I'm in my room, now I can talk more safely. Repeat me, please, I'm not sure I got it right before… did you say that you and Carlos got together?”<br/>
Lando smiles into the phone and answers: “Yes, we did.”<br/>
“But how? When?”<br/>
“Alex don't get mad at me, okay? Do you promise me?”<br/>
“I promise.”<br/>
“We kissed at the Halloween party after the Imola Grand Prix!”<br/>
“Oh my God, Lando! It's incredible! But wait! After the Imola Grand Prix? It was a month ago!”<br/>
“Yes, Alex, I know. I'm so sorry… I haven't told anyone. Do you think that George saw us at the party, but he only told us after the Turkish Grand Prix!”<br/>
“No way!” laughs the Thai, imagining the scene.<br/>
“And you? What about him?” asks the Brit, referring to his friend's crush.</p><p>“Lando, I really don't know, and it's devastating. I don't know if next year I'll drive in Formula One, I don't know if Daniel likes going out with me, but he doesn't love me, I don't know.”<br/>
“If he keeps talking to you, maybe there's a chance, man! Don't worry and keep it up” encourages Lando.<br/>
“I hope so. I saw him just five minutes ago: he was on his way to Max, and he asked me if we could talk a little later. I don't know, he looks more like my mental coach than my probable boyfriend. I'm a little bit sad.”<br/>
Lando sighs on the other side of the phone: “Alex, man, I don't really know if he's into guys, or if he likes you. Well, everyone loves you, so that's not the problem, but I don't know if he likes you in that sense. But if he continues to spend time with you, there's a possibility. The problem, you know, is that he's Daniel Ricciardo, for God's sake: he's a source of energy and is playful with everyone. I don't know when he acts like a very close friend and when he starts flirting instead.</p><p>The Thai remains silent, so Lando proposes: “Listen, Alex, if you want, this week I can investigate. I think I'll spend more time with him as we're approaching the end of the championship. I can talk to him, I can give you a hand, but only if you like.”<br/>
“Oh, thanks Lando, you're always so supportive. I don't know, I see what we will talk about later, and I will decide. But I'm relieved to know you're on my side.”<br/>
“Oh, man, of course, I'm on your side. Do you remember when you comforted me after my fight with Carlos, and then he came to my room? Well, we always say it was you who approached us. So I'd love to help you with Dan if you need it.”<br/>
“Oh, Lando, it's so beautiful to hear. I'm about to cry.”<br/>
Alex hears the Brit giggling on the other side. Then he resumes: “I think you should be with Carlos for a while now. I guess you haven't spent enough time together in the last few days.”<br/>
“Yeah, that's right. Bye, Alex, I'm glad I heard from you.”<br/>
“Bye, Lando. I'm pleased too. Bye.”</p><p>Alex quickly changes into a polo shirt and jeans, and throws himself out the door, bumping into someone.<br/>
“Sorry!” he apologises, getting lost in Daniel's brown eyes.<br/>
“Hey, where are you running, buddy?” asks the Aussie, looking at the younger driver.<br/>
Only then does the Thai realise that he is literally in Daniel's arms and his cheeks immediately turn red.<br/>
He gets up, leaving the other free, and answers the question: “To be honest, nowhere. I was just going out.”<br/>
“Okay, great. Can I go out with you?”<br/>
“Sure friend.”<br/>
“Here we go.”</p><p>They both walk silently in the back of the garage until they reach the paddock.<br/>
“So what did you want to tell me?” Alex asks, referring to their last quick conversation.<br/>
“Oh, is that what I said?” Daniel asks.<br/>
“Yes, you did” concludes the other, pretty confused.<br/>
“I wanted to surprise you to celebrate your podium. There's a secret place I used to go with Max when we were teammates, and I'd like to take you there.”<br/>
Alex smiles, excited, before returning sad.<br/>
“But no, Dan, I don't deserve it. It was a lucky podium after all. Receiving the trophy seemed too much to me.”<br/>
“I can't believe you said that! Your podium is deserved, man. It's our sport: you only win when you cross the chequered flag.”</p><p>Daniel leads his colleague to the gate and exits.<br/>
“Wait, can we go out alone?” Alex asks.<br/>
“To be honest, no. Is that a problem? We won't stay that long.”<br/>
After a few seconds, Daniel realises: “Wait, you've never broken the laws!”<br/>
The Thai quickly turns red, feeling guilty. He nods.<br/>
The other replies: “Awww, dude. It's so cute! Do you want to break the rules with me?”<br/>
“Yes, sure. I trust you.”</p><p>Daniel nods and heads to their destination. It is late at night, but the lights near the track illuminate it as if it were day. He climbs a stone and extends a hand to Alex to help the younger one reach him. They walk for another minute and reach the top of the hill.<br/>
“Close your eyes, I'll guide you” the Aussie orders.<br/>
Alex obeys and feels Daniel's hand squeeze his. The older man leads him a few more steps and then releases his hand.<br/>
He approaches the Thai and whispers in his ear: “Now you can open your eyes.”</p><p>The view that opens up in front of him is extraordinary.<br/>
“Wow!” Alex lets slip, amazed.<br/>
From up there he sees the track from above, like a diamond that shines in the night.<br/>
“Do you like it?”<br/>
“It's wonderful, it's incredible, man. Thank you!”<br/>
“Was it worth it, huh?”<br/>
“Definitely. Thanks.”<br/>
“You're welcome, buddy.”<br/>
They share the panorama for a moment.<br/>
“Okay. Now we should leave, or we'll be in big trouble” jokes Daniel.</p>
<hr/><p>Charles ends his interview in the sparkling paddock of the Sakhir track and reflects on what he was told about Romain. The man is fine and thanks God has only minor injuries, provided that having both hands burned and a slightly sprained ankle could be called that.</p><p>Charles replied that the most important thing today is that Romain is safe, everything about racing has obviously taken a back seat. As happened in the long pause before the restart, his mind immediately goes to Jules, his dear friend who was not so lucky. The Monegasque knows that Pierre will be having the same thoughts on Anthoine.</p><p>At this moment, he realises: every time Pierre had asked him not to leave him alone, Charles had unconsciously thought the same thing. Life is too short to hesitate, and he is a Formula One driver - he's used to taking risks. He must reveal to his friend his love for him. It's now or never.</p><p>He runs towards the AlphaTauri box but doesn't notice any movement. He walks in the pit lane towards the place occupied by the Frenchman's car, but he doesn't see him. Dejected, he goes back to the back of the pits when he hears Daniil laughing: his Russian accent is unmistakable. He follows the sound and sees Pierre with his teammate and some other guys from their team. </p><p>He joins them and asks his friend to speak. Pierre nods and greets his clique before joining Charles.<br/>
“Can we go to a quieter place? I need to talk to you” says the Monegasque.<br/>
“Yes, sure. Did you hear about Romain? He's fine, only minor injuries, apart from the burns.”<br/>
“Yeah, it's fantastic!”<br/>
They walk a little longer before stopping by Pierre's room.<br/>
“So? What did you want to tell me?” asks the Frenchman.<br/>
“Well, Romain's accident got me thinking. The race was so strange: I had a lot of free time with myself to reflect on what happened today.”<br/>
He looks down, trying to find the words. He feels the other's eyes on him.<br/>
“I thought about Jules, his plans for the future, his dreams, his goals. Then I imagined the fear that Marion and the children surely had during those interminable seconds. And then I thought of you, of our friendship, despite our ups and downs.”</p><p>He meets Pierre's green eyes and looks at his friend's expression.<br/>
“You always ask me not to leave you alone. After Jules, after Anthoine. I don't want to leave you, Pierre. Actually, I've been aware of it for a while… I'm madly in love with you, Pierre Gasly.”<br/>
His hazel eyes reflect the twinkle of the tiny yellow lights throughout the paddock.<br/>
“Charles, I… I” stammers Pierre.<br/>
“Oh. Don't worry, it's okay” sighs Charles. Oddly he doesn't feel sad. “I knew it probably wasn't the same for you: you've dated a lot of girls since we've known each other. But I had to try. Life's too short, and I couldn't have lived with the remorse of-”<br/>
“Shut up, Charles. And kiss me.”<br/>
The Monegasque stops and looks incredulous at his friend, whose dazzling smile illuminates the already well-lit paddock.<br/>
They close their eyes, and their lips meet. Like a few hours ago, they finally feel safe, happy and alive, as they continue to kiss, sealing the pact of many years ago.</p>
<hr/><p>George walks into the garage after the interviews. The race was not the best, but driving and mulling over Romain's accident was still a tricky task.<br/>
The Frenchman is fine, for God's sake, and everyone in the paddock is relieved. They all feel like a big family when this kind of thing happens.</p><p>He hugs Kara, his assistant. “Sorry. I needed it. It was a difficult day.”<br/>
“Don't worry, George. It's okay. You did a good performance today” she replies, dishevelling him lovingly.<br/>
They separate just when Nick arrives. She leaves them alone and goes away.<br/>
“Are you okay, man? Have you heard of Romain?” Nick asks, smiling.<br/>
George sighs, thinking he probably won't have that smile all to himself. “I guess so” he replies. “Yes, I heard he's fine. But it was scaring.”<br/>
“Definitely.”</p><p>Carlos told him about his chat with Lance, but George still has doubts about it.<br/>
“Don't you have to check Lance? He too had a bad accident” asks the Brit.<br/>
“Oh, I met him right after the race. He's fine: he had no injuries, just a little shock at the time.”<br/>
“I'm glad to hear it.”<br/>
“But I'm more worried about you, mate. Lately, you and Romain have been getting closer. And I saw you hugging Kara...” says Nick.</p><p>George sighs. He needs to confide in someone: “You know, Nick, I was so focused on getting my first points that I forgot the risks we take every time we get into a Formula One car. And today, when we got the news, I felt stupid for what I had thought before, compared to what Romain had to go through to save himself.”<br/>
He begins to sob, letting the tension of the last hours flow.<br/>
“It's okay, George. It's normal. We don't think about the worst thing. Otherwise, we wouldn't get in the car. Come with me, let's go to your room” Nick says, hugging his teammate and accompanying him.<br/>
“I'm sorry, man.”<br/>
“Stop saying that, George. It's all right.” Nick responds and hugs the Brit tightly to comfort him.</p><p> </p><p>Later that night, during their usual time they meet, the four of the twitch gang decide to have a video call. Charles tries to remain calm but can't contain his happiness.<br/>
“You know, despite all the things that happened today, I'm really pleased. And I think I've won our little challenge.”<br/>
“What challenge?” George asks, confused.<br/>
“The one about our crushes. Today I declared myself to Pierre, and we finally kissed.”<br/>
Alex and George start laughing out loud. That is not the reaction Charles expected.<br/>
The Thai then pulls himself together and between laughter asks: “Didn't you tell him either?”<br/>
Lando only replies: “Oops!”<br/>
At that point, Charles yells, incredulous: “You what?”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm late late late late! There are still two chapters left, I hope to be able to finish them by Christmas. It would be easier if the drivers and teams stopped posting cute posts on instagram.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Missed chances</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>2020 Sakhir Grand Prix</p><p>A bitter race for the four friends. Lando earns a point and is happy for Carlos, but he suffers for George. Charles is disheartened: he got out of the game by himself just on the first lap. George's rollercoaster of emotions makes him reach the highest peaks in driving a Mercedes to the lowest abyss of bad luck. Chasm into which also Alex sinks, after Checo's victory brings the Mexican even closer to RedBull.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I have no words to describe this race. I think the only one who had a worse mix of emotions than us viewers was George. Well, Checo probably too. Very, very sorry for the former. Very, very happy for the second.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>George stops in the pit lane behind more cars than he would like. He deeply breaths and jumps out of the Mercedes. Then he goes to his new garage and finds a crowd already waiting to talk to him. He slows down and moves partly, approaching a flowerbed. The driver sits down and then lies down on the grass, covering his face with his hands. Some of his new collaborators reach him to give him some comfort. He gives thanks under his breath as he mentally yells at them all for robbing him of what could have been the best day of his life.</p><p>Of course, the fucking rear puncture at the end wasn't their fault, yet the stupid pit stop mistake was. George still isn't quite sure what happened, but the long pit stop followed by that team radio was a significant obstacle to what should have been an easy race. How could they have fitted one of Valtteri's tires to him? And to the Finnish? The other man didn't have to change tires the following lap as he did. One fucking time he's racing with the best team on the track, and they're having a bad day! Is this a fucking joke? Shit! It's he? Does he attract all the negative energies of the universe?</p><p>The last notes of the Mexican anthem resound in his head. But when the young driver hears the beginning of <em>God Save the Queen,</em> he can no longer bear the situation and enters the garage. He breaths slowly a few times and spits out the anger, realising that his only emotion left is bitterness.</p><p>Half an hour later, George heads to his room and finds Nick waiting for him. He feels so empty that not even the sight of his crush makes him feel any better. What is he doing here? He thinks. He doesn't want to see anyone anymore.</p><p>«I'm so sorry, George» the Canadian tells him, worried.<br/>
«Thank you» the other replies, emotionless, still looking at the ground.<br/>
Silence falls between them. The speaker in the background stops speaking: the podium ceremony is probably over.<br/>
«You should go celebrate with Lance, man.»<br/>
«No, I should be here to comfort you. You deserved to win today, George. And I'm your teammate: that's what a teammate does.»<br/>
«Technically today I'm not your teammate; Jack is» the Brit points out, returning embittered. He can't get over his only chance to show his prowess.</p><p>Nick knows that this is the right time.<br/>
«No, George, stop. You are an excellent driver stuck in a slow car, and today everyone has seen your true potential. I know it's difficult, but don't be so embittered.»<br/>
«Really, Nick, I appreciate that. But you don't have to be so nice and apprehensive to me; you should go to Williams instead before they call you.»<br/>
«You don't understand, huh?»<br/>
«What? Why would you rather stay here and get sad than go and celebrate Jack's first F1 race?» George yells in exasperation.<br/>
«Exactly.»<br/>
Nick takes a deep breath. «It's quite simple, though. I'm here because I don't care about them, I care about you, man. Because I don't like Jack. God, I don't even like Lance. I love you, George, that's why.»</p><p>«Sorry?» asks the Brit, sure he has misunderstood.<br/>
«Yes, you got it right: I love you» repeats the other, now with a softer voice.<br/>
George is shocked: he's feeling an extra emotion today when he thought he had been through them all by now.<br/>
His silence, however, is too heavy.<br/>
«Now that you know, I can go back to the Williams garage» says Nicholas, walking away from him, heartbroken.<br/>
After three steps, he is stopped by the voice of the other driver.<br/>
«Wait up!»<br/>
Nick turns around again and meets George's eyes.<br/>
«Did you really mean that?» asks the younger, on the verge of an emotional crisis.<br/>
«Of course I did, George.»</p><p>The Brit runs to Nick, and they hug. George sobs on the other man's shoulder, and apologises for being mean.<br/>
«I feel so bad about the race, and I screwed up.»<br/>
«It's all right» the Canadian whispers, softly rubbing his back.<br/>
They part and Nick looks George in the eye. He feels so happy, but he still doesn't know if the other feels the same.<br/>
He asks: «Can I kiss you now?»<br/>
George smiles, and this lights up his face and also his mate's heart. «I'd love it.»<br/>
Nick takes a step towards him, but the other puts a hand on his chest.<br/>
«But not here.»<br/>
They check if anyone is around.<br/>
«Come with me.»</p><p>George leads Nick to his room. Once inside, the Canadian asks: «Are you sure you want our first kiss to be in Lewis's room?»<br/>
George looks at him mischievously: «Oh, this isn't Lewis's room, it's mine. There's my name on the door» he smiles.<br/>
«Well, if so...» concludes Nick before taking the Brit's face and kissing him tenderly.</p>
<hr/><p>Charles feels down. In retrospect, knowing that Mercedes failed both pit stops, he missed a great opportunity. However, he also has to consider that Seb finished 12th, and Mercedes was dominating the race until before the stops, so on the first lap, it was not exactly obvious.</p><p>Charles is also sad because he knocked Max out on the first lap. He knows it was his mistake, as he already said during the interviews. He feels more guilty for the Dutchman than for himself, but to be honest, Max came out alone: no one touched him. He wanted to avoid the other cars and probably couldn't do better than get off the track. He was unlucky.</p><p>Since Sebastian arrived 12th, they got no points - again - while Pierre finished 11th, just ahead of Seb: it was a horrible weekend for all of them. Instead, Charles is very happy for Checo: the Mexican deserved the victory, especially for the crime of still not having a seat for next year. His chances are very, very slim now.</p><p>The Monegasque finds his teammate in the garage. They look dejected and sit down together to talk.<br/>
«I understand you» Sebastian tells him. «You are probably still a little impulsive, but you're young, and it's comprehensible. Maybe that's why, or maybe because of your character, but I understand it: with a slow Ferrari, we have to take risks to earn something.»<br/>
«Yes, but I screwed up anyway» Charles replies, smiling at his friend's thoughtful words.<br/>
«Maybe I drive more safely, or less over the limits: I think that's one of the reasons I wasn't competitive this year» explains the German. «Perhaps, Charles, you drive more aggressively, or you try to pass even in the strait: it is also thanks to this that you have achieved an excellent championship. If you read the points, you have a lot more than me.»<br/>
«I'm so sorry for this year, Seb. You deserve much more than this.»<br/>
«Yes, I hope next year goes better. But there's still one last dance» he concludes, getting up and walking away.</p><p>Charles is pulling on his red polo shirt when he hears a knock on his driver's room door.<br/>
«Hey there! It's me!» exclaims Pierre.<br/>
The Ferrari driver opens the door and lets his beloved in. They exchange a glance and immediately know that this wasn't their weekend.<br/>
Pierre tells him: «I know that many people have probably commented on your incident, but I don't want to make fun of you, nor say who is to blame. I just want to tell you that you have to be careful because I love you. You don't know how much it hurts to hear you're involved in an accident.»<br/>
Charles pats the other: «Okay, Pierre, you're right. I know you didn't mean that, but I didn't do it on purpose: I saw a space and slipped inside. I misinterpreted the movements.»<br/>
«Yes, I know it wasn't your intention. I'm glad you're fine.»<br/>
«Thank you» the Monegasque smiles. «But, you know, considering what Mercedes did next, it's still super annoying. I think I've missed a great opportunity.»<br/>
Pierre rolls his eyes.<br/>
«Yeah, I understand. Well, you better not miss the chance to kiss me» he replies with a mischievous look.<br/>
«Oh, believe me, I'm not going to lose it» Charles answers, closing the space between their lips.</p>
<hr/><p>Lando smiles as he walks into the garage. He arrived 10th, earning just one point, but it was a great result since he started 15th. He was actually ninth but was outpaced by George on the last lap. It was the first time he was okay to be overtaken: his friend today deserved many more points, after what happened in the race.</p><p>Aside from this, Lando is joyful with Carlos's 4th place: his boyfriend has racked up a streak of outstanding performances in recent races. On the other hand, his dislike of Lance grew even more, considering that the Canadian finished 3rd, right in front of his teammate, preventing him from another podium. However, Carlos probably wouldn't have been able to overtake the RacingPoint car. Besides, Lando is super super super happy for Checo too: he deserves it for what he did this year and the last. The Mexican waited for 190 races for his first victory: a long time. Moreover, he is 4th in the drivers' championship and is surprising without a seat for next year. The boy also likes Esteban's 1st podium: he loves that the younger drivers this year had the chance to show off.</p><p>The Brit enters Carlos's room. The Spaniard embraces his boyfriend and tells him that he did a great race, as he started behind. They take a long moment to kiss. In the last week they have only been able to exchange quick kisses, hiding in an empty room, or behind the trees in the paddock.<br/>
«You know?» Lando asks once they separate. «This was our penultimate race together as teammates.»<br/>
The younger one has been thinking about it a lot in the last few days and has started to feel melancholy. He tenderly kisses Carlos's nose. The other responds that he is trying to postpone the thought as much as possible.<br/>
«It'll be miserable for me to say goodbye to McLaren: I have felt great in these two years» he explains. «But driving a Ferrari has always been my dream. Because of Alonso, the last Spanish champion. Because, after all, it is always Ferrari. You know, I grew up with the absolute domination of the reds and Michael Schumacher.»<br/>
Lando smiles, sensing the excitement in Carlos's voice.<br/>
«It's a dream come true, I'm still very thrilled, but leaving you and the team is still a blow in the heart» confesses the man, curving his lips in a sad expression.</p><p>They share this melancholic moment by hugging each other fondly. Carlos and Lando know they will see each other very often now that they are boyfriends, but it will be completely different.</p><p>After a while, the younger man breaks the silence: «I want to talk to George later.»<br/>
Carlos replies that he also wants to see him.<br/>
«It must be terrible to be in his shoes today» he adds.<br/>
The Brit reflects: «Yes, poor George. He lived it all in a week: the expectation of racing with Mercedes and then the realisation of his dream with those exceptional times in free practice.»<br/>
«2nd place in qualifying!»<br/>
«I bet he was beside himself with joy: he had never entered Q3 before.»<br/>
«Especially because he missed pole by just 26 milliseconds» Carlos points out.<br/>
«And then the race» sighs Lando.<br/>
«Do you know that he was already first in the second turn?»<br/>
«Yeah, and this time he didn't crash behind the Safety Car» the young man jokes.<br/>
«It looked like he could easily win, or at least finish second. But then Mercedes made those horrible mistakes at the pit stop. Heck, a race without Lewis and they freak out.»<br/>
«And the rear puncture, in the end, was the final blow. At least George arrived 9th with the fastest lap on the track. His first points were only a small consolation, though.»<br/>
«Man, it sucks» they agree.<br/>
Both of them can understand and would like to be there for him.</p>
<hr/><p>Alex is not pleased with Checo's victory, because he is his direct opponent for the 2nd RedBull seat next year. But how can you not rejoice in the Mexican's maiden win in Formula 1, after ten years of driving? You absolutely couldn't hate him, especially Alex, who hates no one.</p><p>He's not the only one upset inside RedBull, as Max went out on the first lap. Probably, this time the Dutchman would be angry with Charles and not with him. Therefore Alex was the only one to race and arrived 6th just behind Daniel. This implies not a lot of points earned – of course, RacingPoint took a lot, and Renault too – but to be honest, they are still way behind them. Nonetheless, it remains a terrible night, even if the Thai might admit he feels slightly content for Checo and Esteban.</p><p>Meanwhile, in the Renault garage, everyone is celebrating Esteban's 2nd place. Actually, Daniel is not satisfied. Of course, he's very happy for his teammate: he knows that the young Frenchman deserved the podium and he did everything very well today. But he also knows that with Charles and Max out on the first lap and the Mercedes' harakiri, he had to take advantage of it. And staying there, while a cheerful Esteban reminds him of his failure, hurts.</p><p>Alex is sitting in the race control room, surrounded by a crowd of engineers and technicians. They are printing data upon data or examine different statistics on the monitor. Max has just left: having practically not run, they released him immediately. The Thai, on the other hand, is more interested in reading the expression of his collaborators. Who knows if they already know who will have the remaining position next year? A technician asks him something about a datum, and the boy concentrates on the paper he places under his eyes.</p><p>It's late at night when Alex leaves his room. The tiny lights surrounding the palm trees still illuminate the paddock, and it's still hot outside. He sees another figure walking in the same direction. He recognises him by his curly hair.<br/>
«Daniel?»<br/>
The man turns and waits for him.<br/>
«Hey, buddy. I thought I was the last one still here. How are you?»<br/>
Alex quickly motivates his delay. He doesn't want to talk too much about it: his head is already about to explode.<br/>
«I also recently finished checking the race data. Este did particularly well, so he didn't stay long» explains Daniel. «To tell the truth, I remained longer also because I was a little overwhelmed.»</p><p>«It wasn't the night we wanted, huh?»<br/>
«Absolutely not. But I wouldn't swap places with George for the world» Daniel replies.<br/>
«Or with Valtteri» adds Alex.<br/>
The Thai is exhausted: he is suffering the double confrontation, and he feels like he is crushed in the middle. Checo is very experienced, and Max is an exceptional young driver, certainly better than him.<br/>
Daniel, in turn, feels dejected because his teammate took the podium, while he missed a great opportunity, as Max and Charles went out and then Mercedes committed suicide.</p><p>«I'm sure Renault still considers you their first driver» Alex remarks, looking at the man. «You're racing for the 4th position in the standings, for God's sake. But I'm sure you'll do great also next year in McLaren.»<br/>
Daniel smiles. Alex always has a compliment to share, even in his fucking complicated situation. He really loves talking to him. «I know you're struggling, buddy, and, despite this is only your second year in Formula One, you have a lot of pressure that no one else on the track has. But remember: last year RedBull traded Pierre with you in the middle of the championship, while you managed to do a whole year with them, notwithstanding his victory in Monza.»</p><p>The Aussie smiles encouragingly before continuing. «And the fact that RedBull is still thinking about the right decision means they think you can stand up to Checo. You should be proud of yourself: I know you have had some bad races, but you have also done exceptional performances, and you're growing as a driver. I'm sure you'll do even better next year.»<br/>
«Assuming I have a seat next year» Alex spits out with a bitter laugh.<br/>
Daniel takes a deep breath. He's not sure if it's okay to give the Thai all these false hopes. But he fears that believing he has already lost his seat, Alex will subconsciously drive worse.</p><p>«I know you think you're not good enough, but that's not true. You're worth the effort, you're worth Formula One, but this kind of thing unfortunately happens and – I'm sure it won't be your case – but if it does, know that I'll always have your back.»<br/>
Alex is about to cry. He doesn't know if more for the disappointment of losing his seat or for the sweet words that Daniel has just said to him. He puts his hands to his face, trying to wipe away the tears and control the sobs.<br/>
Daniel's heart breaks in front of the scene.<br/>
«Hey, Alex. Come on. Come here» he says, opening his arms to welcome the other.<br/>
The younger man throws himself in the hug and lets himself be cradled tenderly.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks to RedBull's regrettable last-minute decision - aaargh - I need more time to figure out how to wrap up the Alex part. I care about him - unlike someone else - and I want to give him the season finale he deserves.</p><p>Therefore I apologise but the final chapter will be postponed a bit and will not arrive by Christmas. With this, I want to wish you all a Merry Christmas. Please, be fine, be good and let's resist a little longer, we'll all come out together ❤<br/>Thanks for your closeness during this time. Reading your stories and comments was a big help ❤ Merry Christmas.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Farewell</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>2020 Abu Dhabi Grand Prix | Yas Marina</p><p>The last race of the year means weeping after weeping for the various farewells and changes of place.<br/>Lando realises what it means that Carlos will leave McLaren and Charles is sad about Sebastian's departure.</p><p>After the race, Alex disappears, and George moves half the world to look for him. Will the other three find him?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Last chapter<br/>Last race of the championship<br/>Last day of the year<br/>I've done it :) yay</p><p>I had to cheat and pretend that the RedBull dumped Alex on the night of the Abu Dhabi race, in order to fit him into the chapter. I'm still appalled at how RedBull handled the situation, but let's skip it.</p><p>I hope it doesn't seem too forced.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sunday morning feels very strange for all of them: the last races, the second, the first after the illness, goodbyes, farewells.</p><p>George walks into the garage, thoughtfully. He doesn't feel the same as always. Far from understanding why, though. Maybe because this is the last race of this crazy 2020. Or perhaps it's Nick and of their new relationship's fault. Or even for the recurring confrontation in his mind between this and last weekend.</p><p>With his head in the clouds, he mistakes the door to enter. The key won't turn, so he tries the handle. After a few attempts, the door opens from the inside. Nick looks at him, puzzled.</p><p>George looks back in confusion and reads his teammate's name on the door.<br/>
«Oh, sorry, Nick. I was distracted and went to the wrong door» he laughs.<br/>
«Well, since you're here, come in» the Canadian replies.</p><p>As soon as the door is closed, Nick is kissing George. The Brit is still bewildered at first, but he soon focuses on the man he loves and his beautiful lips.</p><p>They part and George smiles at the brown eyes he loves to get lost in. He caresses the short beard on Nick's cheeks and then sits down on the small sofa.<br/>
«I'm a little confused with emotions, man» he confesses.<br/>
«I'm sad because this could have been my 2nd race with Mercedes – and hopefully they wouldn't have ruined it again – but I'm also happy to be back at Williams, with my family.»<br/>
«Oh, I understand you» says the Canadian.</p><p>George smiles, waiting for the rest of the joke, but Nick remains serious.<br/>
«You looked pretty hot in that black livery and that 'I can beat anyone' air. But so I can have you all to myself.»<br/>
«Only for you, huh?» the Brit makes fun of him.<br/>
«Yes, sir. And be careful: now that you don't drive a Mercedes I can't wait to finish ahead of you, so you can stare at my nice ass.»<br/>
«We'll see» George concludes.<br/>
He then pushes Nick with his back on the couch, and lies down on him, covering his boyfriend with kisses.</p>
<hr/><p>Charles's awakening seems strange. He feels like he's going to move on to a different stage/step in his career, but this will happen to Seb.<br/>
He slowly walks through the box, trying to enjoy every little detail of his last race with Sebastian.</p><p>The German's gaze is indecipherable. He looks the same as every other day. Maybe he's just being professional. He hugs the entire crew in the garage, but Charles can't spot a reflection in his eyes. He thought Seb was sensitive, but perhaps he still feels – quite rightly – a little betrayed by them.</p><p>Charles chatted with Pierre last night. The Frenchman was facing the same feelings. It's not official, but 90% Tsunoda will take over from Daniil next year. Pierre knows this will be another step for him: he will become the older driver – and the first seat – of the team. However, he feels sad for his Russian mate. Especially, after all the effort the man put into bringing Charles and Pierre together.</p><p>The Monegasque sighs. He would like wise advice from his boyfriend, and maybe even a kiss.<br/>
«Hey, Charles.»<br/>
The boy may recognize this voice even when it speaks German. He looks up and sees Seb approaching.<br/>
«Let's start it together for the last time!»<br/>
Charles's eyes sparkle with joy and sadness at the same time.<br/>
«Let's do it!»</p>
<hr/><p>Although it is still very early, Alex is already awake. To be honest, it's not that early, but driving at sunset for three weeks in a row has changed their schedules.<br/>
He couldn't sleep well: he feels he is already out of the game. Checo is a winning driver, and moreover, he is the symbol of Mexico in Formula One. This means a lot of sponsorship and visibility, and for such a sport this is a great success factor.</p><p>Furthermore, Max's superb performance throughout the week – culminating in a pole position – highlighted Alex's difficulties/struggles, compared to the Dutchman. He will have to be perfect in the race, and he is far from perfect.</p><p>He looks at the ceiling for a few minutes, then decides to get up. He puts on comfy clothes for a walk near the hotel. He watches the bay and many yachts and boats floating on the water. The sound of the sea calms him down a bit.</p><p>The alarm vibrates in his pocket: it's time to go to the garage. He remembers the many farewells and goodbyes of the other drivers and a fire of determination lights up inside him.<br/>
«I'm not going there to say goodbye!» he says to himself, before returning to his room.</p>
<hr/><p>Lando managed to forget that today was the big day until he entered the garage. The team is waiting in a circle to hug Carlos. He can hear his boyfriend thanking everyone in his lovely Spanish accent with a big smile.</p><p>The harshness of what is happening hits him cruelly. He wheezes to breathe, he needs to sit down for a moment. He has always hated changes, and this is the first time he has to say goodbye to a teammate. Carlos was his first and only one, and the Brit doesn't know how to deal with it.</p><p>Jon finds him like this and bands down to look at him worried.<br/>
«Are you okay?»<br/>
«Something like that.»<br/>
«Aren't you going to say goodbye? I think you'll regret it if you miss your last pre-race together» suggests the man.<br/>
Lando is struck by the words of his coach and immediately gets up.<br/>
«Carlos!» he yells, running towards his teammate.</p><p>Everyone stops and looks at the two drivers hugging. Someone lets out an <em>Awww</em> before they break the embrace.<br/>
Carlos strokes Lando's hair and whispers: «It's okay, Lando. I'm not going anywhere. I love you.»<br/>
Then he continues aloud: «We have one last race to do. We can reach 3rd place in the constructors!»<br/>
«Yes!» everyone cheers, clapping their hands.</p>
<hr/><p>The Abu Dhabi race, the last of this crazy and bizarre 2020, is over and closes the curtain on the F1 Championship.<br/>
Max gets his first win of the season, while Valtteri is one place ahead of his teammate Lewis. Behind them, Alex and Lando precede all the other drivers.</p><p>Everyone at RedBull is cheering Max. Their first win of the season came at the last blow. The Dutchman really deserved it, Alex thinks, looking at the large smile on his mate's face. The Thai approaches and is hugged tightly by his colleague.<br/>
«Congratulations, Max, I'm really happy for you.»<br/>
«Oh, man, I'm so thrilled. This is the best day of 2020.»<br/>
He lets him go and adds: «And you also had a spectacular race. Too bad you didn't manage to get on the podium. I'd have liked to celebrate with you again.»<br/>
He claps Alex on the shoulder. The other smiles shyly and says thanks to the winner.</p><p>After the little party, Chris Horner approaches Alex. He whispers to follow him, and they both enter the principal office.</p><p>Almost an hour later, Alex exits the room and closes the door behind him. His legs are trembling slightly, and he would like to run away, but he can't. He must behave professionally and not let emotions take control of him.</p><p><em>«I'm sorry to ask you such a thing, but I'd appreciate it if the news didn't spread before the official announcement.»</em><br/>
Alex sighs: at least he was the first to know. He looks around: no one cares about him, they probably haven't got the news yet.</p><p><em>«We haven't told Max yet. We'll call Checo in a couple of days, and we'll make it public shortly. You can share it with some friends, of course/obviously. You can talk to our psychologist if you want. I know how it sounds, but we still believe in you, and we'll definitely keep you like our test driver.»</em><br/>
BANG! The final blow.</p><p>Alex remembers the weird sensation of feeling his body on autopilot while listening to his boss. His soul was broken, and he felt like he was no longer there, light as a cloud.</p><p>Meanwhile, he entered his room and locked himself inside. He feels betrayed and empty. It's not fair: he deserves a seat for next year.<br/>
He remembers right away that he's not the only one: Romain and Kevin, and probably Daniil too, are on foot. Selfishly, he thinks others have spent a lot of time driving and had their chances, while this is only his second fucking year in Formula One.</p><p>He needs a hot shower, even if it's not that cold outside. He opens the tap and lets the water run over his body, which immediately mixes with his tears. After what seems like at least an hour, he gets dressed and takes a light blanket. He lies down on the sofa and cuddles himself under the sheets, letting the tiredness and the sadness close his eyes.</p>
<hr/><p>George is scrolling Instagram with one hand while stroking Nick's thin hair with the other. They celebrated this breathless year, thanking all the staff for their hard and valuable work. The only shame is the zero points in the standings.</p><p>After that, the two drivers went to the hotel, and Nick accidentally walked into the wrong room. Several kisses and cuddles later, they're lying on the bed, appreciating each other's warmth.</p><p>«What the hell!» says George.<br/>
«What's up, honey?»<br/>
«Instagram!» he adds, moving the phone to the centre so that his boyfriend can see it too.<br/>
«Ferrari celebrates and greets Seb; McLaren is doing the same with Carlos and Renault with Daniel. I'm bored!»<br/>
«Are you saying I'm boring?» Nick asks, rising on his elbows.<br/>
«Oh, no, babe. You know I'd spend all night with you» replies George, lowering himself to kiss the other's lips.<br/>
«I just wanted to tell them about us. Not like Lando did with us.»<br/>
«Lando what? Are he and Carlos together?»<br/>
«Yeah, it's a long story, love» explains George, returning to stalk the other teams on his phone.</p><p>«Oh! Max is in his hotel now» he adds, showing the photo to Nick.<br/>
«Have they run out of alcohol yet?» jokes the Canadian.<br/>
George laughs and dials Alex's number. The Thai just won the award for being the first to know about their relationship.<br/>
«He doesn't answer.»<br/>
«Do you want to go and see him?»<br/>
«It's a good idea! Are you coming with me?» the Brit smiles, waiting.<br/>
«Of course, honey.»</p><p>When the two drivers arrive at the RedBull hotel, they find few members of the team around. George goes to the front desk and asks the lady for Alex's room number.<br/>
«I'm sorry, mister Albon isn't in his room. He hasn't returned since this morning.»<br/>
«Oh, what about the other people on the team?»<br/>
«Some of them arrived about thirty minutes ago. Mister Verstappen was with them» she answers smiling. «But many of them are still missing, so mister Albon will probably come with them later.»<br/>
George thanks the woman and turns back to Nick.<br/>
«He's not here.»<br/>
«Do you think he's still on the track?» Nick asks.<br/>
«I don't know. But it's time to unleash the other two aces up our sleeve.»</p>
<hr/><p>Lando tries to hold back the tears: Carlos is thanking everyone in the middle of the garage. The Spaniard can be really moving and exactly knows which strings to strive. Jon hugs tight the Brit and whispers: «I'll miss him too.»</p><p>The young driver is about to confess his secret to his friend, but a technician announces that the team has a gift for Carlos.<br/>
The two men interrupt their conversation to add to the drum roll. Two mechanics enter with the right side of Carlos's damaged car from Russia. Everyone applauds, and Lando smiles proudly for having managed to keep the gift a secret.</p><p>Carlos laughs happily, wiping his first tears, and lowers himself to read the dedications that the team members have written to him.</p><p>Zak interrupts them and proclaims that the party could begin: they can move to the back where some food and drink awaits to celebrate 3rd place in the constructors' championship.</p><p>Lando's phone vibrates ,and he reads a message from a distraught George.<br/>
«I know you're still celebrating, but have you seen Alex? He doesn't answer the phone, and he's not in the hotel, unlike Max.»</p><p>The McLaren driver sighs and calls Alex, but the other doesn't answer. He looks at Carlos and tells him he has to go away for a minute.<br/>
«Is everything okay?»<br/>
«Yes, it's probably just George's hen complex.»<br/>
Carlos smiles at him since they can't kiss and lets him go.</p><p>Lando arrives at the RedBull box but finds no one. He calls, but there's no sign of life inside. The Brit yells out Alex's name and knocks on his door, but can't find him. Puzzled, he returns to the party.</p>
<hr/><p>Charles thinks he has never seen any of his colleagues cry. The farewell to Seb after six years in Ferrari is for sure a heartwarming moment for them.<br/>
He hopes the German appreciated his helmet: he is not a creative person, but wanted to thank his teammate for everything he did for him.</p><p>Sebastian is locked in his room by his assistant, while the whole team is putting on the white mask with the German flag, like in Seb's helmet. They all sit together in front of his garage and wait for him with a big trophy.</p><p>When he reaches them, they start celebrating and applauding, while Seb puts a hand over his face, overwhelmed. You can see him smiling even with the mask over his mouth.<br/>
He sits down with them for the photo, and then everyone starts cheering: «Seb! Seb! Seb!»<br/>
When Charles helps him to raise the cup, everyone screams and claps.</p><p>The Monegasque listens to another memory of one of the mechanics. Now he understands why Seb is so loved by the team. The older driver has always helped his staff, in races and in life outside of F1. The bond they all have with him is strong.<br/>
Charles takes another sip of beer: Seb has brought at least ten crates so that everyone has some. He even brought drinks to his own party.</p><p>Then everyone starts to collect their belongings and go to the hotel: they have decided – like the other teams – to dismantle everything the next morning.<br/>
Only now Charles realises he has left the phone in his room. He walks over and finds a message and two missed calls from George.</p><p>«I know you're still celebrating, but have you seen Alex? He doesn't answer the phone, and he's not in the hotel, unlike Max.»<br/>
It was half an hour ago. Charles runs out and reaches the RedBull box, finding no one. He goes to Alex's room and calls him out loud, but no one answers.</p><p>At that moment, George and Nicholas arrive.<br/>
Charles looks at them and apologises: «Sorry, guys. I just read the message.»<br/>
«No problem, Charles. How's Seb?»<br/>
«Proud. And he's probably sad, but he knows we love him a lot and I hope he enjoyed the farewell party.»<br/>
The Williams boys nod.<br/>
«I can't find Alex anywhere.»<br/>
«Even Lando was not successful before» says Nick.<br/>
«I tried calling him again, but it was useless» George adds.<br/>
«Max?»<br/>
«He's at their hotel, and he left before him» sighs George. «I don't like this.»<br/>
«I'm sure there's nothing to worry about, honey» Nick replies, holding George's hand.<br/>
«Honey?» Charles raises an eyebrow.<br/>
«Did I miss something?» he adds, sticking out his tongue.<br/>
The others turn red, and George tells him everything.</p><p>«So Alex is the last» says Charles. Then he gets an idea: «Shit! Why didn't I think about it before? He can be with Daniel!»<br/>
George immediately calls Lando, asking him to hear from Daniel and informing him of their suspicions. Charles, meanwhile, asked his boyfriend if he had seen the Thai.<br/>
«Pierre says he didn't see Alex after the race. He'll investigate in AlphaTauri.»</p>
<hr/><p>Lando runs towards the Renault garage. Many people in yellow and black are leaving. He spots Daniel in a group and joins him.<br/>
«Hey, Lando» the Aussie welcomes him with a smile.<br/>
«Daniel, please, tell me you were with Alex.»<br/>
The Aussie frowns: «No, I have always been here with the team.»<br/>
«Shit!»<br/>
«What happened to Alex?» Dan asks, starting to get nervous.<br/>
«We can't find him.»<br/>
«Lead me on.»</p><p>They join the others at the same time as Pierre. The three bring no news.<br/>
«Didn't he show up?» the Frenchman asks as he approaches Charles.<br/>
The Monegasque denies with his head.<br/>
«Maybe he went to the hotel» Pierre suggests.<br/>
«No, we come from there: we would have seen him walking towards us» explains Nick.</p><p>«Maybe he needed some alone time and took a longer ride to the hotel?» suggests Daniel.<br/>
«It seems possible. But he still doesn't answer the phone» George protests.<br/>
Lando takes his cell phone and calls the Thai one last time.</p><p>Charles sees the interior of Alex's driver's room light up. He points to it, and the other drivers follow his finger with their eyes.<br/>
«He's inside?!» George yells incredulously.<br/>
He starts knocking on the door as the other drivers yell Alex's name.<br/>
«Hey, Alex. We're out here» Lando says, silencing everyone. «Can you open it please?»</p><p>The Thai gets up and, still with the phone to his ear, opens the door. He closes the call to rub his eyes and looks confused at the crowd staring at him.<br/>
«You can't tell me you were just sleeping, man!» George yells. «I called you at least ten times!»<br/>
Alex looks at the phone and gasps as he reads the missed calls and messages there.<br/>
«Were you looking for me?»<br/>
«All of us were» Lando specifies.</p><p>Alex smiles impressed but suddenly realises: he will lose his seat and even all of them as colleagues. And this hurts even more.<br/>
He sits down on the steps, pale, and begins to sob. The wound still hurts.</p><p>George takes a step towards his friend, but Nick stops him by holding his wrist. The Brit gets mad at his boyfriend but then watches where the other is looking.<br/>
Daniel slowly approaches the Thai and kneels beside him.<br/>
«Hey, Alex, what's up?»</p><p>Lando gestures to the other four to move away and leave the two in intimacy.<br/>
Pierre is confused and looks to Charles for information. The Monegasque then tells him about the crushes that all four have.<br/>
«Alex was really upset about Daniel and was also worried about the RedBull's 2nd seat issue» explains George.</p>
<hr/><p>Daniel holds Alex tight in his arms and waits for the younger to calm down.<br/>
«Hey, are you okay?» he asks once the other has stopped crying. «What was that?»<br/>
«I can't tell you» Alex replies, sniffling.<br/>
«Buddy, I can't help you if you don't say-»<br/>
«I love you» Alex interrupts him.</p><p>He looks up and meets Dan's brown eyes, sparkling in the night.<br/>
«I'm sorry. It's just that I couldn't hold it any more.»<br/>
He sobs.<br/>
Daniel remains silent.</p><p>The Aussie had never thought of the Thai in this way. But now, after the other's confession, he can finally name the strange feeling he has connected to Alex over the past few months. It wasn't the charm for his humility, it wasn't admiration: it was affection.</p><p>«It's okay, Daniel, don't worry. This year made fun of me in a fucking treacherous way. First, my first two podiums and now this. Your refusal is just the icing on the cake.»<br/>
Daniel watches Alex's lips resting after his sad recap of the year and exactly knows what to do.<br/>
He leans forward and kisses the man. Alex is surprised by the gesture but then deepens the kiss. A smile forms on his lips before the two part for air.<br/>
«Daniel, you just made sense of my year.»<br/>
«I love you too, Alex.»<br/>
The Thai bites his lip. He knows he has to tell the man. But not tonight: he doesn't want to ruin their moment. He smiles, stroking the Aussie's face and kisses him again.</p>
<hr/><p>«Lando, did you find him?» Carlos asks, approaching the five drivers in the paddock.<br/>
«Look for yourself» the Brit replies, nodding his eyes towards Alex.<br/>
The Spaniard looks in that direction and sees the driver and Daniel kissing. He opens his mouth in disbelief: «Wow. I'm so happy for them.»<br/>
«Shall we go to them?» George proposes.<br/>
«But why? They are so cute together» argues Charles.<br/>
«I agree, but I wanted to tell him about us. That's why we started looking for him» explains the Brit, pointing to himself and his teammate.</p><p>«No! When?» Lando asks, surprised.<br/>
«Last week. I was very gutted, and Nick declared his love.»<br/>
The Canadian takes George's hand and lifts it up to kiss it.<br/>
«Alright, then. Let's go!» Pierre decides.</p><p>«So, we all did it!» Charles exclaims, approaching the kissing couple.<br/>
The two separate and become redder than a Ferrari.<br/>
«We were just…» tries the Australian.<br/>
«They already know» Alex explains, holding his hand.</p><p>«We played truth or dare after the second British GP» begins Lando.<br/>
«And we confessed to being in love with the four of you, guys.» Charles continues.<br/>
George goes on: «And after each race, we told each other how it was going.»<br/>
«Until we discovered one by one that you loved us too» Alex concludes, shaking Daniel's hand.</p><p>«Hey, guys. What are you still doing here? It's almost midnight!»<br/>
They all turn around and see Seb looking at them.<br/>
«Hi, Seb. I thought you were already at our hotel. I was chatting with Alex, Lando and George and the others joined in» replies the Monegasque, lying.<br/>
«You know, when the working day is done… boys just wanna have fun!» Lando adds.<br/>
«Oh, that sounds funny. Well, now I think it's time to go.»<br/>
«Right! Let's go!» George agrees.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>THANK YOU ALL</p><p>I had a lot of fun writing this story, I hope you liked it too! If you want to leave a comment I would be very grateful :)</p><p>I wish a happy 2021 to everyone, and the hope to see some exciting races again next year, as well as obviously hoping to put an end to this terrible pandemic.</p><p>tgMoony</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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